I’m just sharing the perspective he shared with me.
He wants nothing to do with such a group of consistently jealous, conniving, lying, holier-than-thou jerks (he uses much stronger language). Put yourself in the shoes of someone who has seen this his entire childhood, someone who knew these people since before he could walk, and imagine trying to grasp that the Jesus portrayed in the bible has self-professing followers that act this way all the time. Then ask yourself if you want anything to do with that. Some branches of the vine have some awful, bitter fruit. When that’s all you know, you don’t want to eat it.
I know I’ve been there a couple times myself. I got to the point of just wanting to worship at home and not go to another church. That is why, after 20 years, I walked away from the pharisee-laden Southern Baptists. After trying out a few non-denominational churches, I started going to (and serving in) a Calvary Chapel affiliate.
Calvary Chapel was recommended to me by a missionary I met in Iraq. He told me about the many miraculous close-calls and answered prayers he had encountered as a foreign missionary in some very dangerous places. I was impressed with the way he lives his faith without a safety net while the vast majority of the Christians I know never remove their training wheels. I figure that a church that can produce this kind of person (and I’ve known several others now, as well) and consistently challenge me intellectually, is what I’m looking for.
Oh, believe me... I understand and empathize with what your friend has suffered! I’m pointing out that, despite his fully-understandable motives, he’s made a serious mistake... and he’s abandoning the Shepherd because His servants have dropped the ball (sometimes on your friend).
For myself, I’m as weak and sinful man as any I’ve met... but I have a hunger for the *truth*—not just what makes me feel “good” or “blessed” or even “welcome”... but TRUTH (with a capital “T”). I want to know what (or, rather, Who) true, and to follow it (or, rather, Him). Good fellowship is a very bad substitute for truth and salvation, I’ve found... though *so* very many people seem to abandon the Church because of “fellowship” issues (i.e. people being jerks, mean, unwelcoming, apathetic, and basically every type of sinner since the beginning of man).
I understand (in the sense that I can “trace cause to effect”) how people who suffer at the hands of others can want to abandon ship... and definitely, if a worship community is abusive, find another! But we have an urgent need for teaching others (especially the younger generations) that God and His creatures are two completely different things! God is faithful, even when there is no faithfulness left in our home town.
Sorry... rant out of my system, now! :)