‘Clinton the Musical’ Is Definitely Running Off Broadway

For those who can’t get enough of Bill and Hillary Clinton – or want to see them lampooned in the tawdriest way possible – the stage satire “Clinton the Musical” is getting an open-ended commercial run at Off Broadway’s New World Stages complex, the producers announced on Tuesday. The show, which had a brief outing last summer in the New York Musical Theater Festival, focuses mostly on scandals in the Clinton administration (Monica Lewinsky features prominently) and splits the president into two characters – the diligent WJ and the roguish Billy – while portraying Mrs. Clinton’s character as politically ambitious.

The musical was created by two brothers from Australia, Paul Hodge (who wrote the score) and Michael Hodge (who wrote the book with his brother), and will be directed by Dan Knechtges, who recently staged the critically praised political parody “Tail! Spin!” A New York Times review last summer of “Clinton the Musical” commended the lyrics and lead performances (casting for the new run will be announced later) while describing the humor as “relentlessly low.”

“Clinton the Musical” will run at a 349-seat theater at New World Stages, starting performances on March 26 and opening officially on April 9. The lead producer is Kari Lynn Hearn, who has invested in several Broadway shows, and the executive producer is Ken Davenport, whose credits include “It’s Only a Play” and the 2011 revival of “Godspell.”

Absolutely nothing can ever top this masterpiece by our own IowaHawk

IL SCUMBAGGIO

Milan, Italy - The opera world was rocked yesterday when a group of musicologists from the University of Milan announced that they had located the score and libretto of "Il Scumbaggio," Guiseppe Verdi's unfinished 37th opera.

According to Giancarlo Petri, professor of Music at the University of Milan, his team located the lost Verdi masterpiece while rifling through a box of billing records from the Il Rosa Law Firm of Venice. "The box just mysteriously showed up after 98 years," explained Petri.

Born to a family of innkeepers, Verdi (1813-1901) studied at the prestigious Milan Conservatory. Along with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), Verdi defined the modern opera. His works, including Rigoletto, Il Trovotore, La Traviata, and Aida, rank among the greatest creative efforts of the 19th century.

Verdi's lost opera concerns Scumbaggio, rogue prince of the impoverished Archanza region of disunited Italy. A vain, cowardly womanizer, he is married to the dour and power-hungry Madam Natiche di Grasso, who stokes his dream of seizing power over a united Italian kingdom.

In the opening act a scowling, contralto Madam Natiche circles Scumbaggio, tantalizing him with visions of power:

dal dio e da Machaivelli, lasceremo Archanza,
con i contadini in modo da puzzo!
la famiglia dice che Roma è dove dovete essere!
Scumbaggio, il palazzo è il nostro destino!
[parlate] piscine, stelle di opera!
(By god, and by Machaivelli,
we will leave Archanza, with its peasants so smelly!
Kinfolk say Rome is where you ought to be!
Scumbaggio, the palace is our destiny!
[Spoken] swimming pools, opera stars!)

Scumbaggio and Natiche quickly consolidate power in Archanza through shady dealings and patronage. Their ruthless power brokering gains the approval of the corrupt Democratica Nostra cabal who control power in Rome. After slaying the ineffectual Giorgio di Bucchi, the Democratica Nostra raise Scumbaggio to the throne.

In the duet "Scumbaggio è re," Scumbaggio's raspy, tenor exaltations are interrupted by Natiche, who darkly reminds him of their secret power agreement:

Ha ha ha! Osservare sui miei impianti grandi, insignificanti!
Scumbaggio è re! Tutti lo grandinano!
Ed attraverso questi portelli santi del palazzo,
passare gli assistenti più etici nella storia!
Sono venuto per il mio tributo, Scumbaggio! Vi siete dimenticati?
Le mie chiamate di margine della pancia del porco vi hanno reso il re!
Dobbiamo completare il nostro affare più marcio!
Sissi nell' esercito o da Dio, canterò!
(Ha ha ha! Look on my mighty works, O ye mortals!
Scumbaggio is King! All hail me!
And through these sacred palace portals,
pass the most ethical courtesans in history!
I have come for my tribute, Scumbaggio! Have you forgotten?
My pork belly margin calls have made you the King!
We must consummate our bargain most rotten!
Sissies in the Army or by God, I will sing!)

Scumbaggio acquiesces to the will of Madam Natiche, appointing her amazon ladies-in-waiting to his inner council, and naming Natiche as grand Strega (medicine witch) of Italy. In return, Madam Natiche exacts revenge on Scumbaggio's rivals in a bloody vendetta. Scumbaggio covers for Natiche by appointing the nature-loving simpleton Testa di Legno (Woodhead) as titular second-in-command. Together, they blackmail the Chinese silk merchants of Genoa.

The couple's machinations soon draw the scrutiny of the ruling papacy, who have been uncovering evidence of the King's unchaste rule in Archanza. The papists are further alarmed as dozens of Scumbaggio's consiglieri are found dead, in prison, or with their tongues cut out. Scumbaggio's reign is shaken when his chief rival, Nuto di Marietta, is elected Pope after proposing "Del Contratto con Italia."

Vanquished, Madam Natiche is driven to internal palace exile. Seemingly cornered, a depressed Scumbaggio seeks solace from Mona Nica, his young Hebress attendant. In the haunting, romantic "Ho Bisogno d'un Fellatio" (I Need a Hummer), he pleads

Bambino, sono un re con i desideri normali!
Natiche, quella strega, realmente mette fuori i miei fuochi!
Oscilla un altro modo, se lo seguite,
io ha ottenuto un lavoro piacevole del palazzo se lo succhiate!
(Baby, I'm a king with earthly desires!
Natiche, that hag, really puts out my fires!
She swings another way, if you follow me,
I got a nice palace job if you swallow me!)

Mona Nica grants Scumbaggio his wish and he returns, without Natiche, to battle against the mean-spirited papists. Meanwhile, Mona Nica reveals her secret to the scribe Linda di Trippi in "Il Grande Pervertito" (The Big Creep):

Come ha chiamato al mio balcone la notte scorsa?
e lui è come, " giusto, gradisce un segreto, " e tutto?
e sono come, " io sono così sicuro, ia, qualunque, " e stuffi?
E sono è come, spero che non uccida me come quelli altri e tutto?
(Yeah, like he called to my balcony last night?
And he's like, "Okay, it's like a secret," and everything?
And so I go, "I am so sure, yeah, like whatever," and stuff?
And I'm like, I hope he doesn't kill me like those other girls, and everything?)

Fearing for her life, diTrippi relays the tearful confession to the papists. Confronted with the charges, Scumbaggio issues a forceful denial to the Roman public:

Non ho avuto non una volta sesso con quella ragazza dell' ebreo!
Le mie mani sono pulite d'un tal torto!
Scorriamo veloce a giudizio!
Aspettiamo tutti i fatti per entrare!
(I did not have sex with that Jewish chick, not once!
My hands are clean of such a sin!
Let's not rush to judgment!
Let's wait for all the facts to come in!)

Seeing an opportunity to regain power, Madam Natiche rallies to the King's defense. Her public proclamation is sung in the riveting aria, "Il Cospirazione" :

Una bugia maledetta, toro papal giusto! Una giusta cospirazione dell' ala di Vaticano!
Il papa diabolico ed i suoi minioni diabolico intendono prendermi il pontenza!
Quando la verità esce, ci sarà inferno da pagare!
Saranno rivelati, rivelatore dico!
(A damned lie, just papal bull! A Vatican right wing conspiracy!
The evil Pope and his fiendish minions intend to take the throne from me!
When the truth comes out, there will be hell to pay!
They will be revealed, revealed I say!)

The stakes are raised when Scumbaggio repeats his denials before his confessor Chenetto di Strella, risking excommunication and eternal damnation. Confronted with Mona Nica's stained frock, Scumbaggio continues to assert his innocence in the energetic "Non Realmente Sesso" (Not Really Sex)

Dipende dal significato controllo della i
di parola ' la vostra bibbia, un fellatio non conta
tutt' al più che sia giusto un torto
venial inoltre, io realmente non ha montato
It depends on the meaning of the word 'is'
Check your bible, a hummer doesn't count
At most it's just a venial sin
Besides, I really didn't mount.)

After confession Scumbaggio demands a penance of no more than three Hail Marys, and emerges the cathedral to the lusty cheers of the Roman public, who have begun a drunken orgy.

Meanwhile a bloodbath ensues as Madam Natiche assembles a private army to find the mistresses of the papist. One by one the papists commit suicide, throwing themselves on their lances, as Rome burns in the background.

The final act begins with a ephemeral dream scene, where Scumbaggio is encircled by dozens of ghosts, each representing characters who where killed earlier in the opera.

La morte lo circonda, tutto è morte! Incidenza dopo l' incidenza!
Amico e nemico egualmente, è una coincidenza stupefacente.
(Death surrounds me, all is death! Incidence after incidence!
Friend and foe alike, it is an amazing coincidence.)

Unfortunately, the researchers were unable to locate the rest of Scumbaggio, so it is uncertain whether Verdi intended the opera as a tragedy or comedy. Even if the final act is located, Professor Petri does not think that Verdi would ever let it get to the stage.

"The music is magnificent," says Petri, "but the story? Please. Even for opera, it is just too absurd."

Hawk,

Hat tip to true genius!

/Zak

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.