[rey]

Goldilocks never had a rap sheet like this guy.

[4yearlurker]

For a minute there I thought it was Iron Man.

[Blood of Tyrants]

Well Goldilocks should have been charged with trespassing, breaking and entering, and vandalism.

[circlecity]

This guy has a violent history. What if he’d have woken up with her standing there in the same room. Could have been a much darker ending.

[Pollster1]

It's her fault for leaving the porridge unattended on the table.

______________________________________________________________

50g porridge oats
350ml milk or water, or a mixture of the two
Greek yogurt, thinned with a little milk and clear honey, to serve

Put the oats in a saucepan, pour in the milk or water and sprinkle in a pinch of salt. Bring to the boil and simmer for 4-5 minutes, stirring from time to time and watching carefully that it doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pan. Or you can try this in a microwave. Mix the oats, milk or water and a pinch of salt in a large microwaveproof bowl, then microwave on High for 5 minutes, stirring halfway through. Leave to stand for 2 minutes before eating.

To serve. Pour into bowls, spoon yogurt on top and drizzle with honey.

[ElkGroveDan]

That exact thing nearly happened to me back in the 80s. Fortunately I was the one who woke up first.

Went back to college at the end of Spring break before the dorms were opened so I stayed with a former roommate who had a condo/apartment in a row of about 30 identical condos. Lost track of him during a night of raucous partying so I made my way back to his place by myself. Found the right entrance went up a few stairs and turned left instead of turning right. Stepped into the living room in the dark and couldn't find my sleeping back and other stuff, so I just flopped down on the couch and fell asleep as I was. Next morning as the sun was coming up had to use the bathroom really badly, couldn't believe he had it all decorated with flowers and stuff but didn't think much of it. As I stepped out of the bathroom I glanced through the open door to his bedroom and there's a girl with long blond hair asleep under a pink satin comforter. Awareness starts to sink in as I hurry back to the living room and realize why my stuff isn't there. Grab my shoes and slip out the front door, closing it quietly, step back across into his apartment and then pass out again, this time on the right couch.

[PistolPaknMama]

A good case for a firearm, security system, small but yappy dog. I can’t believe he rambled around in the house and never woke her up.

[Ditter]

This happened to a friend of mine. She awoke to find a drunk woman asleep on her couch. The woman thought she was entering her parents house, she wasn’t there to rob my friend.

[zeugma]

The resident discovered him at about 2 p.m.

Must not work for a living, or is retired.

[GeronL]

sit on the love seat and be cleaning the shotgun when they wake up

“G’morning pork chop”