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What I Wish Trump Would Say on SNL
Vanity | 11/1/2015 | RinaseaofDs

Posted on 11/01/2015 1:11:36 PM PST by RinaseaofDs

SNL is live TV. Most forget that, including NBC.

Where Trump could break it open and essentially break it off in his opponents is to go on SNL and give the monologue of his life.

Something to the effect of:

"Good evening!"

Applause

"Thank you!"

Applause

"I'm happy to be here on SNL. I'm a New Yorker, and SNL is a New York institution. SNL came up big after the 9/11 attacks. I love it because its the last bastion of dangerous TV there is. It's live.

Now, I'm not going to Charles Rocket my way to glory here, but I am going to call an audible. They had me doing some ridiculous B___ S____ sold to me as making me look approachable, but in reality to make me look stupid."

At this point, the audience thinks its a gag.

"I gotta say though, the idea of presidential candidates doing shows like this and showing their asses on national TV to get you to somehow like us - I don't know."

"I keep thinking of Joe Pesci's monologue in Goodfellas: You think I'm funny? Funny how? I make you laugh?"

"You want a clown to be the leader of the free world, Congress is full of them, and so is the White House currently. Jon Stewart isn't going to scare Vladimir Putin, or the freaks from ISIS, or the Chinese.

I don't get young mixed up with stupid. None of you are stupid. Any of you thinking of electing someone who thinks appearing on a comedy show and doing skits deserves the idiots dumb enough to listen to their overpaid handlers who convince them its a good idea.

It isn't. I'm honored to be asked, and I want you to have a good time for the rest of the show, but I'm here to show you how dangerous live TV can actually be. Don't vote for idiots stupid enough to think making you laugh is a job requirement. I'm as funny as the next guy, and yeah the hair is real, but we don't need clowns in the White House. We've had enough of them to last us.

They've got a good show lined up for you tonight. I won't be in it. Help make America great again.

Good night!"

Go to commercial.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: New York; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: 2016election; election2016; newyork; newyorkcity; saturdaynightlive; saturdaynightvile; snl; trump
I'd pay to see a version of this.
1 posted on 11/01/2015 1:11:36 PM PST by RinaseaofDs
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To: RinaseaofDs

donald trump walking away from a TV camera? never happen.


2 posted on 11/01/2015 1:16:25 PM PST by JohnBrowdie (http://forum.stink-eye.net)
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To: RinaseaofDs

They’d cut his mic.


3 posted on 11/01/2015 1:17:08 PM PST by doorgunner69
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To: RinaseaofDs

You.. figured this was NEWS?

Wow.


4 posted on 11/01/2015 1:17:08 PM PST by humblegunner (NOW with even more AWESOMENESS)
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To: RinaseaofDs

I’d donate to fund a version of this.


5 posted on 11/01/2015 1:17:30 PM PST by samtheman (I will build a great, great wall on our southern border... - DT)
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To: samtheman

Billionaires don’t need donations.


6 posted on 11/01/2015 1:18:51 PM PST by JohnBrowdie (http://forum.stink-eye.net)
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To: humblegunner

Whether they are going to let him on or not, or whether they will cave to our brown friends is still news.


7 posted on 11/01/2015 1:19:06 PM PST by RinaseaofDs
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To: RinaseaofDs
Back in 1977, Elvis Costello was supposed to perform "Less Than Zero" on SNL. He played that song for about 10 seconds, stopped his band, and then ripped into "Radio, Radio" -- which Lorne Michaels had specifically told him not to play.

Lorne Michaels was incensed and banned Elvis for years.

But he didn't cut the microphone.

I bet he would cut off Trump.

8 posted on 11/01/2015 1:19:19 PM PST by ClearCase_guy (Speak TRUZ to power / Tell the TRUZ / No more lies; we want the TRUZ.)
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To: ClearCase_guy

If he cuts off the mike, the news will be that SNL might as well drop the L, cause it ain’t any more.


9 posted on 11/01/2015 1:23:05 PM PST by RinaseaofDs
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To: RinaseaofDs

Yeah.
So an observation by you is NEWS?

Yeah.


10 posted on 11/01/2015 1:23:54 PM PST by humblegunner (NOW with even more AWESOMENESS)
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To: RinaseaofDs

re: “SNL came up big after the 9/11 attacks’

SNL was big during the Ford and Carter years, including that beautiful skit of Carter, the black maid, and 3 Mile Island.

I do enjoy the Hill-arious version.


11 posted on 11/01/2015 1:24:54 PM PST by Terry L Smith
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To: RinaseaofDs

Havent watched since Joe Piscapo and Eddie Murphy.


12 posted on 11/01/2015 1:31:11 PM PST by gaijin
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To: RinaseaofDs

That would never happen. First: The prelude is too wordy, not punchy enough for todays’ audience. The payoff is too subtle. Secondly: No viable candidate would throw away such an opportunity to get up close and personal with the American People, at least with those who still watch SNL. If he had that much contempt for SNL’s format, he just wouldn’t show up, and would spend a few days trashing them on Twitter.

The networks would never forgive him for it, the advertising money and reputation lost, and would go out of they way (even more than they already do) to destroy him politically.
I can already hear Rand Paul at the NBC studio yelling at the front glass door “ HELLO! I AM available to appear on your program! Where’s MY 15 minutes of favoritism?”


13 posted on 11/01/2015 1:31:45 PM PST by lee martell
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To: gaijin

Can’t watch, no TV.


14 posted on 11/01/2015 1:33:41 PM PST by Fungi
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To: RinaseaofDs

Trump is not going to participate in any skit that will make him look foolish.

I predict he will do very well, and very well for himself. He is as TV-savvy as they come and he is nobody’s fool.

For example, I could see him doing a satire of The Apprentice where the participants are all the Democrat candidates (at least Sanders and Clinton), and maybe a select few Republican candidates (maybe Yeb!, Carly, and Christie). Maybe even Obama. He could make fools of them, the fire them.

That would be worth watching.


15 posted on 11/01/2015 1:44:13 PM PST by Eccl 10:2 (Prov 3:5 --- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding")
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To: Fungi

You, too..?!

CONGRATS...!!

I noticed I was always realllllly mad and could see no good reason to continue.

Never felt better.


16 posted on 11/01/2015 1:47:05 PM PST by gaijin
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To: RinaseaofDs

Not actually live.


17 posted on 11/01/2015 2:21:13 PM PST by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: Eccl 10:2

Very good idea!


18 posted on 11/01/2015 2:25:43 PM PST by bukkdems (Polygamy requires thinning the herd of males, unless territory can be conquered.)
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To: RinaseaofDs

Now that would be really funny.

but, I never watch SNL; not after they tried to crucify Sarah Palin.


19 posted on 11/01/2015 5:21:14 PM PST by CyberAnt ("The fields are white unto Harvest")
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To: RinaseaofDs
I think that would be a bad move on Trump's part. The cast of SNL bust their butts all week to put together a good show for the host and the host is expected to spend a good part of that week rehearsing with them. For Trump to pull that move in the monologue and leave the cast hanging for the rest of the show would be incredibly unprofessional and disrespectful. It would pretty much kill the rest of the show and it would cast Trump in a terrible light.

I think Trump is media savvy enough to make this a good show without being made to look the fool.

By the way, personal opinions should be posted under "Bloggers/Personal" or "General/Chat".

20 posted on 11/01/2015 5:32:03 PM PST by SamAdams76 (Businessmen use their own money to succeed. Politicians take other people's money and fail.)
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