Posted on 02/16/2016 3:28:15 PM PST by Mariner
I saw my ex-husband in court last week. It was the first time I had seen him in longer than I could remember; the exact date lost in an 8-inch-thick legal file of court proceedings that is currently lying on my desk. In fact, I could count on one hand the number of times I have seen him since I started that file four years ago.
Up until just a few days ago, I literally could not find my ex-husband.
But before he disappeared four years ago, I was a married, stay-at-home mom of a 3-year-old daughter and 7-month-old son. Then overnight my world turned upside down when my husband said he was going to the store and simply never returned.
Not only was my marriage over, but he left me with two very young children in a position where I was unable to instantaneously support us.
Quitting his job and leaving his work vehicle (his only car) in the parking lot of his employer, he turned off his phone, moved out of town, and became untraceable. His actions were not just an exaggerated statement that he no longer wanted our marriage, but it was a heartbreaking declaration that he also no longer wanted our kids.
And I’ve heard it all; the judgments that people love to throw my way. “Didn’t you see this coming,†and “what did you do to make him leave?†Or “this is why you never should not have been a stay-at-home mom without your own career,†and my favorite, “you had kids with him, you did this to yourself.â€
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
However, my experience from talking to dozens of middle-aged men is that the combination of Child Support AND Spousal Support while trying to find a place to live yourself...after being evicted from their own home...and having a car to get back and forth to work meant they had nothing. And therefore, nothing to lose.
And I suspect that's part of the sob story we'll not read about.
I tell every young man who will listen: Take your future into your own hands and put on a rubber. And never, ever marry.
I’m guessing she had a relentless and loud mouth on her.
Didn’t make him sammiches of fetch ‘im a beer.
You're both in the same place in the same book on the same page for the same reason
Not a bad way to start a life with another that will not fight your core
It was four years ago, you said so yourself........
I'm taking a pause on this piece.
He probably went gay.
Turned out she was a complete atheist; just liked music and singing.
Took me a while to wrap my head around the whole concept.
He knew what was coming.
The legal system doesn’t like men, and this guy understood that —The System was about to completely DESTROY him.
I really, really don’t think feminism is going to make women happy.
Women don’t have to rely on men, the system sees to that.
How many people think this man’s disappearance was really some kind of unforeseen LARK..?
She’d probably long made him want to DIE.
Sometimes, the woman makes walking the best available option.
This all sounds sort of familiar, like the Springsteen song.
Maybe he had a good reason. Nevertheless, the State is standing by on your behalf to take his home, children, wealth and future income from him at the point of a gun.
“Beyond Belief”
History repeats the old conceits
The glib replies the same defeats
Keep your finger on important issues
With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues
I’m just the oily slick
On the windup world of the nervous tick
In a very fashionable hovel
I hang around dying to be tortured
You’ll never be alone in the bone orchard
This battle with the bottle is nothing so novel
So in this almost empty gin palace
Through a two-way looking glass
You see your Alice
You know she has no sense
For all your jealousy
In a sense she still smiles very sweetly
Charged with insults and flattery
Her body moves with malice
Do you have to be so cruel to be callous
And now you find you fit this identikit completely
You say you have no secrets
And then leave discreetly
That said, the best revenge is living well. One of my co-workers went through such a situation. Her husband left her for another woman. But she ended up in the workplace and now she works at the VP level of my company. She makes well into six figures and when it's her weekend to drop the kids off with the father, she feels good driving her BMW over to his crappy apartment and actually giving him some cash so that he can afford to do something decent with his kids. Needless to say, this loser's girlfriend ended up dumping him.
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