Posted on 09/06/2016 2:10:19 PM PDT by Osage Orange
The Coyote Principle
California
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re the nature of coyotes.
PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
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TEXAS
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
this is OK as far as it goes... but if anyone shoots my idol Wile E., they’ll have to answer to me....
Would a Texas dog need help with the coyote?
Ha!!...Good point...as long as it wasn’t from Austin.
Forgot to add that every California coyote will be fitted with a personal GPS to advertise its location so that humans can be warned to avoid it and allow it to range wherever it wants. Every human will be fitted with and pay for his/her own Coyote GPS warning system to be worn whenever leaving home.
I thought this was going to be about “Double Coyote Ugly”.
Coyote Ugly is when you wake up next to a woman and she is so ugly you gnaw your arm off to get away from her.
Double Coyote Ugly is when you gnaw your other arm off too so it will never happen again.
Only prernor, Greg Abbott, is in a wheelchair. Better change it to rolling down a jogging path.oblem is that our Gov
Problem is that our Governor, Greg Abbott, is in a wheelchair. Better change it to rolling down a jogging path.
I don’t know for me Acme Industries has a lot of splainin to do!
After I read it I had to go back and see that it was a “generic” CA gov. I had pictured Moonbeam doing all of it, as I am sure he would.
Coyotes are trickstets
That’s like a two bagger. with an ugly women you need too put a bag over her head. With a really ugly woman you need too also put a bag over your head.
It was a Ruger LCP in .380 Caliber, and I believe it was his personal concealed carry weapon, not state issued.
Yes, Acme Supply Company has a lot to answer for. Their shoddy products ruined Wile E.’s career. But Wile has lawyers working on recompense from Acme — so perhaps just maybe he may come out vindicated in the end? Then, after his lawyers take their usual 99 percent, Wile might be able to afford to buy a road runner, or at least a Costco rotisserie chicken ($4.99), see this linkee :
https://la.utexas.edu/users/jmciver/357L/WileECoyoteVACME.htm
When former TX Gov, Rick Perry shot the coyote going for his daughter’s puppy, he used his “jogging pistol”,a Ruger LCP in .380, IIRC.
Hearing of it, elicited a warm fuzzy moment for most Texans.
The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
Close, but it is the governor's personal conceal carry pistol, with his own personal .380 ammo. The state didn't spend any money on the Governor's firearm or on the ammo.
If so California should be ashamed!
That's ok; when this story actually happened our Governor was Rick Perry and he took down the coyote with a .380 compact semi-auto.
In my California town coyotes are eating cats and small dogs.
I believe mother nature and the coyotes have the upper hand, and are survivors.
Coyote v. Acme Co.
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