For $49.95 you can have you butt 'read' (Stallone's mom can tell your future by butt print!)

Jacqueline Stallone ^

[chance33_98]

Try a Fanny-Gram!

Jacqueline Stallone has revived the ancient art of Rumpology. Just as your fingerprints, palms, soles, and ears tell a story, so does your rump. Or shall we say, your fanny. The lines, crevices, and folds of your fanny can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love. So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so today.

Send us a print of your fanny (a fanny-gram, if you will) by either using a photocopier or a legible ink print on white paper (please use washable ink). Include your initials and your date of birth along with a check or postal money order for $100, or use your credit card and our shopping cart (coming soon) to place your order on-line. All shipping and handling charges are included.

You'll receive a personalized report of 30 pages or more covering your journey through the coming year based on the pattern of the lines, folds, and crevices of your fanny-gram. We'll return your fanny-gram, too, which you may want to frame as a family keepsake when the fates smile on you.

Tea leaves, casting the bones, stars in the night sky - all have been used as a guide to the future, a beacon to show the way, and to impart confidence as we move forward into the unknown: your fanny-gram will too!

Jacqueline Stallone

PS: Is that the elephant man framed above or a famous fanny revealing its owner's fate? Find out!

Go to Catalog Order Form

$49.95 (S&H $10.00)
Price includes kit mailed to you with everything you need: paper, non-toxic ink, a 16oz. bottle of For Men Only lotion (for clean-up) and a return address sticker with postage. Only after receiving your imprint can analysis be done - your 49 page report will be mailed back under seperate cover.

Send your Fanny-Gram for us to read to :
Jacqueline Stallone
P.O. Box 491550
Los Angeles CA 90049

For more information:
Phone toll free (888) 780-9890
Fax (310) 451-8969
email: Jacqueline Stallone@jacquelinestallone.com

International calls-
(USA country code 1) 310 281 2803

Go to Catalog Order Form

Click for "Reports Menu" (if not visible at left).

[chance33_98]

No, this is not a joke.

[StopDemocratsDotCom]

OMG! LOL, "The Union" doesn't even get this good.

[paul51]

You think Sly would cut his mom a check now and then so she doesn't have to demean herself this way.

[liberalism=failure]

Just a theory

This is just a means to cover the fact that she likes to look at people's butts.

[Savage Beast]

So this is where those morons at The Guardian get that stuff they print.

[Savage Beast]

No disrespect intended. I'm sure Stallone's mom makes a lot more sense than they do.

[xJones]

I'd like to see her read Hillary's butt. "You're going to have a HUGE, I mean really ENORMOUS future!"

[unsycophant]

Isn't this the kind of topic that is more suitable for a site like Drudge's?

[Hammerhead]

This Stalone lady has been on Stern a number of times - A TOTAL WACK JOB. This woman is such a kook, I was even embarrassed for her.

[Jhoffa_]

They would need the hubble telescope to read mine.

[Ditter]

I can just see my reading now: Your butt is expansive & far reaching. Some lucky man gets warmth in the winter & shade in the summer from your butt. I can see some exciting new items in your future. Purchased with your butt in mind, a pair of stretch jeans & maybe even a tent dress.

My butt is not really this big but if I don't stop freeping & start dieting & walking it will be.

[unamused]

So....which digits would I "accidentally" have to dial wrong to send my fanny-gram to the DNC??

[Sabertooth]

If you can read my butt, you're too close.

[Dakmar]

Remember a couple days ago we were discussing the future of civilization? I have this horrible feeling in me guttywuts that this might be it.

[SAMWolf]

What's my future?

[alcuin]

Unny, don't . .

You already did?

In future, just say "no."

Cheeky!

[Octar]

I believe it would be a lot easier to read someone's past from the fanny-gram than the future.

"I see you have been eating a lot of sweets."

[3catsanadog]

I read my butt for free - it said I'm eating too much junk food and not exercising enough.

[unsycophant]

I'm tempted to send Jackie $49.95 for a 'reading' on the meaning of your remarks, Alcuin. They're cosmic.

[alcuin]

I'll settle for gaseous.

NOT ONE CENT FOR TRIBUTE!!! onyerwayoutcrushthebloodoftirentsthankswearwhite . .

Rock on.