Posted on 04/01/2002 2:26:08 PM PST by kattracks
In other words he is a useless piece of crap.
From: John Ashcroft, Attorney General
To: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
Re: Memo of 4/2/02
1. Restraint of the Special Forces soldiers is commendable in the circumstances mentioned. The investigation will be back-burnered - besides, several kids in a couple of the top Civil Rights Division investigators' neighborhoods have had their cats stuck in trees of late, and the investigators are trying to help coax the cats down. This case can wait.
2. I'll give the verbiage a pass this time. I will have Miranda cards printed out in Urdu, Pashtun, and Arabic and sent to the front anyhow. No need to risk having key evidence tossed out.
3. We checked out our laboratory equipment last month. It's in top shape, and good to go. I'll order a re-check as soon as we finish going through the anonymous package of information on multiple al-Qaida cells we got. Somebody sure found a mother lode of information - almost as if they got one of Osama's top lieutenants drunk and talking. So far it all checks out.
Suggestion to drop him off in front of a front organization with a wad of cash in his pocket and a thank-you note is not a good idea. Ted Olson wants this guy in our custody pretty bad.
I like the idea of a round of golf. Can we make it a week from Wednesday? I have a staff meeting Thursday at 1:30 about that campaign finance reform BS that POTUS signed. He wants us to soft-pedal the case, so we gotta do it in a way that ain't obvious.
r/s
John Ashcroft.
P.S. - Also, we have recently received an inquiry about a former Navy aircraft that were salvaged from the ocean floor. The aircraft in question is an A-6 from Desert Storm pushed off a carrier. The guy claims it is discarded property, and intends to keep the plane. Can a couple of your legal people look over this guy's filing?
1. Hope those kids' cats get back safe and sound real soon. My granddaughter's cat got treed once, and the poor cat needed therapy for a year.
2. Will ensure that the troops use the Miranda cards. Make sure they give the phonetics--some of our kids speak these languages, but most don't, and I don't want miscommunications getting anything tossed out.
Understand how Teddy really wants a piece of this guy. It was just a suggestion.
Re: the meeting Thursday. The secret to success here in DC is to avoid time-wasting meetings with morons. (I know, I know: so why am I meeting with those world-class thumbsuckers every day for the Rummy Show?)
Re: the A-6. My legal beagles tell me he's SOL--salvage law for military artifacts requires that the owning state abandon any claim to the vessel in question (be it a ship or an aircraft). The US Government has not relinquished title to the aircraft. We'll be happy to pay him appropriate salvage fees as adjudicated in admiralty court, but we get the hardware back. In practical terms, this explains why Project Jennifer did not intend to keep the Soviet submarine they were attempting to raise. Also, note that the British Crown has not relinquished title to HMS Prince of Wales nor HMS Repulse, despite several very lucrative salvage offers, and that Her Majesty's Government has expressed--rather pointedly--that it would view ANY salvage effort as "an unfriendly act." (Johnny, "an unfriendly act" is usually the LAST phrase uttered before the shooting starts. It's a serious, no-[expletive deleted] situation when those words get trotted out.)
r/s
Donald Rumsfeld
PS -
From: John Ashcroft, Attorney General
To: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
Re: Memo from today (2)
1. Understanding appreciated.
2. Will ensure the phonetics are on the cards.
3. Appreciate you understanding of Ted's desire. I'll make sure that I take my autographed Mark McGwire bat home for safekeeping while the guy is in custody.
4. Suggestion about avoiding wasting time: Delegate responsibility. Working pretty well in the Microsoft case.
5. Re: The A-6. He's already done some serious restoration work, and wants compensation for the time, money, and part he has acquired in the restoration effort in addition to the salvage payments. The plane's now flyable due tot he works as well. All it needs is a paint job. He did express a willingness to take another FLYABLE aircraft in lieu of a salvage fee. Could that be arranged?
r/s
John Ashcroft
P.S. - This guy also had an invoice from Sukhoi for a Su-30MK aircraft that one of our guys noticed. Remember that incident with the Scud Customs seized in `98 (http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a360bf0db7d0b.htm)? I just want to make sure we don't have a repeat of that little fiasco, either. He's got all the approvals in order, but could you double-check this?
1. On the phonetics, thanks.
2. Yeah, you'd better do that--a Mark McGwire bat's FAR too valuable to apply to an [expletive deleted]'s head (or any other portion of said [expletive deleted], either).
3. There's things you can delegate, and things you can't. Telling the public what's going on with the war falls into the latter category.
4. Re: the A-6. Still our airplane, we will pay per admiralty court ruling for improvements over "as salvaged" condition. They're pretty doggone fair, if'n you ask me. We'll pay out the wazoo for this thing. We've done this sort of thing before. As for a flyable aircraft...trust me, we do NOT want to go the barter route. (Can we say "ITAR" and "DRMO," boys and girls? I knew you could!)
5. Re: Russian jet fighter. Let's be honest, kids, if Larry Ellison from Oracle can't spend enough money to buy himself one and get it legit, probably ain't nobody else going to be able to do it. Suggest we ping Jane Garvey at the FAA--I don't think this beast has a type certificate for airworthiness, and I don't think that aviating iron from the former worker's paradise will pass one. (Beats me how the damn Airbus folks got their type certificate--if it ain't Boeing, I ain't going!)
Definitely want to avoid a Scud incident...can you imagine some yahoo bringing in a Topol-M with the Montana Militia as the end user? Yikes!
r/s
Donald Rumsefeld
From: John Ashcroft, Attorney General
To: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
Re: Today's Memo (4)
1. Re: The A-6. Will do, but YOU get to explain to The Honarable Carl Levin why we paid the exorbitant fee when we could have saved the trouble for a couple of old planesthat you folks are taking to that giant guillotine. Are you sure you can't provide some of `em to the Commemorative Air Force as museum pieces?
2. Re: The Su-30MK. Will cross-deck the memo to Garvey at FAA. Problem is importation has been granted by Customs (will have a discussion with Mr. Bonner about that tomorrow). Best bet is the airworthiness certificate. Dunno if this is such a big deal - there are a number of other East Bloc warbirds in service. We'll just have garvey make sure the gun's not functional and there is no way the missile pylons work, either.
3. Can you have DIA send us anything they find on future efforts for situations like that involving item #2 on the memo? It might save us the humiliation of finding out stuff like this in a front-page story by Bill Gertz.
r/s
John Ashcroft
P.S. - One of our agents noticed some of the Special Forces guys have acquired a few souvenier AK-47s. I trust this will be handled quietly. Feinstein and Schumer are already close to insufferable.
From: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
To: John Ashcroft, Attorney General
Re: Today's Memo (5)
1. Re: The A-6. Trust me, it's WAY cheaper to just pay out than to do the paperwork the Honorable Mr. Levin has mandated for any birds going to civilians in flyable status. Heck, the budget for paper alone would probably buy a fair number of JDAM kits.
2. Re: The Su-30MK. Yeah, it's gotta be COMPLETELY demilled. And with a current-gen fighter, your flying monkeys ruled in Ellison's case that "demilled" means "unflyable."
3. Will set up a cell with DIA, DTRA, a suitable participant from your shop, and one of Jane Garvey's folks. Bill Gertz is a mensch, but I'm with you on wanting to read about this stuff in something other than the Times (the paper boy has a habit of landing my copy either in the bird bath or on the porch roof).
4. Re: the Special Forces -- we'll give them a talking-to. They oughta know better, anyway.
r/s
Donald Rumsfeld
PS - Remember the good ol' days before the Senators went to Arlington and became the Texas Rangers? "Washington: first in war, first in peace, last in the American League!" It's opening day, and we don't have a ball club to watch any more...
From: John Ashcroft, Attorney General
To: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
Re: Your Memo (5)
1. Will do. You'll get the plane back.
2. I'll talk with the folks here about adjusting the standards. If he takes off the gun and missiles, we'll let him fly the thing. I'm surprised you don't want to try to buy the thing off the guy.
3. Well, the counter-intelligence folks here think a little less of Gertz. How does that guy get his stuff?
4. Talking to will be appreciated.
5. The working group will be great. But try to clean up that surplus mess. Although it could be worse. You didn't leave a missile launcher on a warship you were selling the way the Canadians did a few years back (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/intl/article/0,9171,1107991213-36157-2,00.html). And they sold it "as is," too. That, I understand, was quite messy.
r/s
John Ashcroft.
Doc
Since evidence indicates that the "families" of these psychotic "Islamic Martyrs" are REWARDED by Saddam (money) & the Saudis (free trips to Mecca), I believe those of us who represent the victims of this pathology need to "take steps" to NEGATE the "Rewards" these misguided people expect for their sociopathic behavior!
Families of these misquided psychotic "suicide artists" should be SCATTERED & "Shunned;" Their "remains" should be buried--"Wrapped in Pork,"--& their misguided "families" should be BANNED from ANY religious participation for several generations!
"Rewards" should be "confiscated" & given to Islamic Poor, & "Trips to Mecca" should be Banned for these families for several generations! IMHO
Doc
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