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Sex, Equality, And Kidding Ourselves (Should Men put their foot down and say enough is enough??)
FredonEverything.com ^ | 4/17/02 | Fred Reed

Posted on 04/17/2002 1:58:35 PM PDT by M 91 u2 K

Men of today's older generation grew up in the chivalric miasma of their time, which held that women were morally superior to men, and that civilized men protected women against any available vicissitude. A corollary was that women needed protecting. So common has this understanding been throughout history that one may suspect it of being based in ancient instinct: In a less hospitable world, if men didn't protect women, something disagreeable would eat them, and then there would be no more people. So men did. And do.

Instincts have consequences, particularly when the circumstances requiring them cease to exist.

Because women were until recently subordinate, and in large part played the role of gentility assigned to them, men didn't recognize that they could be dangerous, selfish, or sometimes outright vipers. They were no worse than men, but neither were they better. Men believed, as did women, that women were tender creatures, caring, kind, and suited to be mothers. Males deferred to women in many things, which didn't matter because the things women wanted were not important.

When women came into a degree of power, it turned out that they were as immoral, or amoral, as men, probably more self-centered, and out for what they could get. Not all were, of course, as neither were all men, but suddenly this became the central current. This too followed lines of instinctual plausibility: Women took care of children and themselves, and men took care of women. It made sense that they should be self-centered.

These newly empowered women knew, as women have always known, how to wield charm, and they quickly learned to enjoy power. The men of the old school didn't notice in time. They deferred, and they were blind-sided. They gave gentlemanly agreement to one-sided laws hostile to men.

Political deference became a pattern. It remains a pattern. It probably springs in part from the male's instinctive recognition that, by giving women what they want, he gets laid. Between individuals this worked tolerably well, but less so when applied to abstract groups.

When women said they wanted protection against dead-beat dads, the old school fell for it. They were attuned to saving maidens and the sheltering from life's storms of white Christian motherhood. "Dead-beat dads" was of course that sure-fire political winner -- an alliterative slogan of few words that embodied a conclusion but no analysis. So sure were men that women were the kinder gentler sex that they never bothered to look at the statistics on abuse of children, or the track records of the sexes in raising children.

The romantic elderly male believed -- believes -- that women were the natural proprietors of the young. This led to laws virtually denying a divorced father's interest in his children, though not the requirement that he pay for their upkeep. The pattern holds today. Male judges in family law defer to women, almost any women no matter how unfit, and female judges side with their own. The demonstrable fact that women can and do abuse and neglect children, that a female executive clawing her way up the hierarchy may have the maternal instincts of a rattlesnake, that children need their fathers -- all of this has been forgotten.

The reflexive deference continued. Feminists wanted congress to pass a vast program of funding for every left-wing cause that incited enthusiasm in the sterile nests of NOW. They called it the Violence Against Women Act, and men deferentially gave it to them. Of course to vote against it, no matter what it actually said -- and almost no one knew -- would have been to seem to favor violence against women. A law to exterminate orphans, if called the Domestic Violence Prevention Act, would pass without demur.

There followed yet more male deference to female desires. When women wanted to go into the military to have babies, or a Soldier Experience, men couldn't bring themselves to say no.

When the women couldn't perform as soldiers, men graciously lowered standards so they could appear to. It was the equivalent of helping a woman over a log in the park, the legal and institutional parallel of murmuring, "Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing."

On and on it went. The aggregate effect has been that women have gained real power, while (or by) managing in large part to continue to exact deference and, crucially, to avoid the accountability that should come with power. A minor example is women who want the preferential treatment that women now enjoy, and yet expect men to pay for their dates. In today's circumstances, this is simple parasitism.

Today men are accountable for their behavior. Women are not. The lack of accountability, seldom clearly recognized, is the bedrock of much of today's feminist misbehavior, influence, and politics. Its pervasiveness is worth pondering.

A man who sires children and leaves is called a dead-beat dad, and persecuted. A woman who has seven children out of wedlock and no capacity to raise them is not a criminal, but a victim. He is accountable for his misbehavior, but she is not for hers. It is often thus.

Consider the female Army officer who complained that morning runs were demeaning to women. A man who thus sniveled would be disciplined, ridiculed, and perhaps thumped. Yet the Army fell over itself to apologize and investigate. Again, men are held accountable for their indiscipline, but women are not. Men expect to adapt themselves to the Army, but women expect the Army to adapt to them. And it does. The male instinct is to keep women happy.

Note that a woman who brings charges of sexual harassment against a man suffers no, or minor, consequences if the charges are found to be unfounded -- i.e., made up. A man who lied about a woman's misbehavior would be sacked. He is accountable. She isn't.

Yes, large numbers of women are responsible, competent, and agreeable. Few engage in the worst abuses, as for example the fabrication of sexual harassment. Yet they can do these things. A man cannot throw a fit and get his way. A woman can. Only a few need misbehave to poison the air and set society on edge. And the many profit by the misbehavior of the few.

People will do what they can get away with. Men assuredly will, and so are restrained by law. Women are not. Here is the root of much evil, for society, children, men and, yes, women.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; News/Current Events
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To: Pinlighter
"...and that the women can not really be blamed for this."

That's probably the key phrase that caused me to "flame on" in the first place. If by "the women" you mean the Marxist gender-feminist anarchists who have gone from burning their bras to emotionally and psychologically torturing little boys in the course of thirty-some years, then you are one of the chivalrous dupes that Fred Reed is talking about in the darkly humorous piece of satire above.

I take great consolation that anything originating from a J. Orlin Grabbe website attracts little or no serious attention except when Grabbe wins another perennial award for "Kook Site of the Day."

101 posted on 04/19/2002 12:56:05 PM PDT by Harrison Bergeron
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To: M 91 u2 K
This article makes some good points but overall it is dishonest in it's central premis, that men have traditionally had women's best interest at heart. This is not universally true. All one has to do is to examine traditional cultures and societies, not only in history, but ones which exist today, where women have ZERO political, social or economic autonomy.

Exhibit A: Islamic countries. Is the price of relinquishing all decision making to males: honor killings, forced marriages, girls and women bartered and sold into sexual indenturing, bartered and sold to pay debts sold, or sold into prostitution to pay debts? If so, who would fault women for deciding that there must be something better than the costs of this type of "protection" for the less fortunate of their members?

Read this article on the state of girl/women's "protection" in Pakistan, a very patriarchal traditional society where men's duty is to "protect" girls/women.

http://web.amnesty.org/ai.nsf/recent/ASA330062002?OpenDocument

It seems to me the type of chivalrous "protection" offered to many women in return for relinquishing autonomy is akin to the type of "protection" offered by the Mafia to small business owners. If you pay are compliant and don't balk at the price we ask you to pay, perhaps nothing unfortunate will happen to you on your way home.

This is not to say the pendulum hasn't swung too far in another direction. But all this rosy picture painting of the "chivalry" of the past is dishonest. The older ways had/have many liabilities for women and these liabilities do not equal out with the beneifits. The old "protection" system has has been rejected by women in modern societies. Western women (and increasingly all women around the globe), have flat out indicated that they have little or no stake in maintaining the status quo systems of the past which on many levels DO NOT and DID NOT look out for their basic minimum bodily safety let alone their best interests in health, edcuation, and general happiness. This is the lure of "feminism" or indeed of any popular rebellion against the status quo. Sometimes people would rather face an uncertain future than face the known inequities and injustices of the past.

What many anti-feminists fail to do is look at the past with a critical eye. They also fail to acknowledge the tremendous progress and superiority of countries who have embraced women's greater autonomy over countries which haven't. It is plain to see that overall, everyone in society is better off when women are engaged in the political process. Even with the problems inherent in change (and there are always problems) we are all better off (not just women) by moving forward not backward in history.
102 posted on 04/19/2002 2:46:35 PM PDT by Lorianne
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To: Harrison Bergeron
Tell me the way you think things should be. Tell me what you think should be said to make you happy. Give us your insights into this. What do you think has happened and should happen? Show us what you got.
103 posted on 04/19/2002 6:26:59 PM PDT by RLK
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To: Valpal1
the author is a racist pig who hates women....

What proof do you have of the second half of that?

104 posted on 04/19/2002 8:26:25 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: Harrison Bergeron
But it only took your question to wipe the smile off my face. By turning our boys over to the sole care of selfish women via divorce, single motherhood, and the feminized public school systems, we have committed cultural suicide.

This is true.

105 posted on 04/19/2002 8:28:28 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: RLK
(Should Men put their foot down and say enough is enough??) ------------------- The majority of them have. They have foregone serious long term relationships with women.

That's just quitting.

106 posted on 04/19/2002 8:29:36 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: Harrison Bergeron
...the old story about abortion-on-demand, liberal social welfare policies, and "divorce on demand" being responsible for the destruction of the family and marginalization of the father...

Indeed. That's it.

107 posted on 04/19/2002 8:32:29 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: Valpal1;Don Myers;rdb3
But might I suggest you keep your pants zipped until you have in fact married such a female...

Care to be fair, and tell women to do the same? Hello? Gender equity calling?

108 posted on 04/19/2002 8:35:15 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: born yesterday
What came first?
109 posted on 04/19/2002 8:36:20 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: RLK
That wasn't the point and you damned well know it.

Precisely.

110 posted on 04/19/2002 8:38:12 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: The Giant Apricots; Valpal1; Don Myers; rdb3
"Care to be fair, and tell women to do the same? "

I am afraid the cat is out of the bag. For many girls these days, their pants go down if they go outside in a light breeze.

111 posted on 04/19/2002 8:38:43 PM PDT by Don Myers
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To: joathome
The author's bias is a bit too apparent.

As is yours.

112 posted on 04/19/2002 8:39:00 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: RLK
I have a maxim. My body may like her body, but if my mind doesn't like her mind and my soul doesn't liker her soul interacting with her body becomes prohibited by the emptyness.

Well said. I have always gone by that.

113 posted on 04/19/2002 8:40:10 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: joathome;harrison bergeron;woahhs;wwjdn;nick danger;illbay;xm177e2;iron jack;don myers;don joe...
The playboy philosphy and sexual revolution is largely responsible for where we are today.

Yeesh. Male-bash much?

114 posted on 04/19/2002 8:42:58 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: big ern
I don't know about you guys, but I wear the pants in my house! Whatever pair she tells me to.

Thank you for summing up the pathos of modern society.

115 posted on 04/19/2002 8:44:06 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: joathome;harrison bergeron;paul atreides;senator pardek
I think I could make equally vile generalizations about this generation of men.

Could? What "could"? You do....daily.

116 posted on 04/19/2002 8:46:13 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: RLK;rdb3
Let me also add, the concern has been about what women want or need. Not once in how many years have I has anybody ask me what I need to keep going. Basically, they don't care, but they expect me to care. There is a certain egocentric unilateralism here that any man should find repelling.

Again, very well summarized.

117 posted on 04/19/2002 8:48:37 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: Valpal1;harrison bergeron
You are the bigot who faults women for following where MEN HAVE LED!

Which men are the lesbian man-hating feminists "following"? Names, please.

118 posted on 04/19/2002 8:53:15 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: Don Myers
Between the cut-off shirts and hip-huuger jeans, the breeze has little work to do.
119 posted on 04/19/2002 9:01:08 PM PDT by The Giant Apricots
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To: Lorianne
Where the feminists went wrong was they didn't really promote autonomy, they promoted dependence on the government in place of dependence on men. The didn't promote equality, they promoted lowering of standards and affirmative action. Where the feminists went very wrong was when they decided a woman's children were her biggest enemy and made abortion their focus.
120 posted on 04/19/2002 9:20:06 PM PDT by FITZ
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