Humor break: Arabs Hold Summit to Standardize Anti-Jewish Slurs for Future Summits (and more)

Loser Wire ^ | Scooter

[knighthawk]

BEIRUT (bobfromaccounting.com) — In an unusual display of unity among Mideast leaders, the Arab League of 22 countries called an emergency summit Thursday to standardize Jewish slurs for use at future summits.

Arab League Secretary General Amr Moussa convened the meeting when it became readily apparent that the slurs used to describe the Israeli occupiers greatly varied depending on what country was involved. The wide array of dialects and languages became confusing and difficult to understand.

While Palestinian militants referred to the Israelis as "Al Halsuada" or "the evil dogs," others in the Arab world used a derivation of "Satan's dogs" or sometimes "Satan's pigs." Hizbollah fighters, in a translation from Lebanese, referred to the Jews as "evil, big-nosed Muslim-haters" and still others living in refugee camps were partial to calling Israelis "rich, jihad-worthy, baby killers."

Members of the Egyptian Jihad, however, combined many of these slurs by using the standard Arabic "kosher scum-sucking pigs with machine guns," while Syrians used an even larger combination of slurs, which when loosely translated, refer to the Jews as "arrogant, bagel-eating communists that read books backward."

"Clearly we need some standardization when it comes to denigrating Jews," Moussa said. "While everyone has a favorite, we think the results of this summit will be helpful to make our hatred more understandable for future summits."

After two days of arguing, the final statement, issued by Saudi Foreign Affairs Minister Saud al-Faisal read as follows:

"For all formal Arab sessions, Israelis and Jews will now be referred as "land stealing Moses-lovers" and during casual conversation as "rich fucking Jew bastards who wear the funny beanies and eat our children during holidays."

Photo: The Arab Council debated anti-Jew slurs for two days before finally coming to an agreement.

[knighthawk]

From the same site:

Loser of the Week

YASSER ARAFAT

Vital Stats

Marital Status:
"I'm kinda married to my job right now, but I date maybe twice a month."

Assets:
Sensitivity, intelligence, good sense of humor, ability to order the killing of large numbers of Israelis without detection

Negatives:
Noncommittal, travels with 300 bodyguards, smells like goat cheese

My favorite Movie:
Schindler's List -- especially the funny parts near the end

Signature:
Nobel Peace Prize, third nipple

I wish:
"For my people to have a large chunk of land with a house and a pool in the backyard with a sign that says No Jews Allowed."

Recent Quote:
"Did anyone remember to tape Ally McBeal before they cut the power to my compound?"

[knighthawk]

Ping

[Chad Fairbanks]

Why don't they just assign a number for each anti-jewish slur, so that way they can just scream numbers into the camera - it would be quicker... ;0)

[Poohbah]

Of course, someone will yell "37," get no reaction, and get told, "some people just can't use ethnic slurs properly."

[Chad Fairbanks]

And of course, the number 911 would be the palastinian code for, "It wasn't me - it was the one-armed jew..."

[Poohbah]

BWAHAHA!

[Unam Sanctam]

Gee, I'm so glad to see the Arabs cooperate for once on such a constructive endeavor. /sarcasm>

[facedown]

BTTT