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Not Understanding Child Support Laws

Posted on 7/10/2002, 3:41:56 AM by Mr_Pacific

What is the basis for having child support laws?

In my mind, the intent of child support laws is to force departed fathers to keep the children alive, because we all know women can't support kids on their own.

Wait, no, that can't be. Women are fighter pilots, CEOs, and astronauts these days. Women have just as much power over their own lives as men. Why aren't the feminists railing against child support laws?

Maybe the reason for child support laws is that once a man decides to get her pregnant, she has no choice but to carry the baby, and give birth.

Nope, can't be that. Any woman can go get an abortion any time regardless what the father, husband, pastor, her parents, or anyone else wishes. She doesn't even need a good reason, "Being a mother now would interfere with my goals." will do just fine.

But then, if she decides to have the baby, she has to stay at home and take care of it, eliminating the opportunity to develop her career, leaving her helpless.

Wrong again. Day care. Doesn't the government even subsidize the cost of child care if the mother can't afford it and wants to work?

In this day and age, a woman can only have a child if she wants to, and can't be compelled to give birth if she refuses. The women hold all the cards, they make all the decisions, and have ultimate power over the business of bringing children into the world. Heck, they don't even need contact with a man, they can go buy some stranger's seed, or if they're famous, rich, and/or gay, they can adopt a bunch of kids.

So, why the child support laws?

I can hear my conservative friends yelling "so we don't have to pay for all that welfare!"

I don't like paying for other people's bad decisions either, but the whole thing about "cracking down on deadbeat dads to reduce the welfare rolls" is a myth.

Why can't a new father-to-be decide to abort his fatherhood just like a new mother-to-be can. Under today's societal dictates, all things being equal, a man should have the same ability to back out of the parenting position as a woman.

A guy finds out he knocked up his girlfriend: "sorry, I'm not ready at this point in my life to support a child." Hey, it's his body...and bank account.

The only difference between the guy backing out, and the woman backing out, is no bloodshed results when the guy calls it quits.

With power comes responsibility. If women are to have all the say, while men are viewed as having nothing more to contribute than ejaculate and one third of their income, perhaps the responsibility needs to shift to the power holders.

Please don't get me wrong. First and foremost, I think men should stay with their children and nurture them emotionally as well as financially. Those that end up divorced should support their child in the best way possible, as should the fathers of unexpected kids.

But the same government that tells men that childbirth and abortion is none of their business, unless the woman makes it so, has no place telling them how much to pay.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: child; childsupport; divorce; father; money; mother; support; vanity
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1 posted on 7/10/2002, 3:41:57 AM by Mr_Pacific
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To: Mr_Pacific
I always thought the child support laws were the necessary political compromise that cleared the way for the No Fault Divorce revolution that the elites unleashed on American families--with the indispensible ideological assistance of the feminist radical left wing. Fukuyama dubbed its fallout 'The Great Disruption'. I agree wholeheartedly with that analysis. I also agree with the writer who recently asked the rhetorical question: Wouldn't American be a lot better if the sixties had never happened?
2 posted on 7/10/2002, 3:57:33 AM by Havisham
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To: Mr_Pacific
A man who loves his child/children doesn't need a law that forces him to support them. As for the others.....the child support laws are a joke.

3 posted on 7/10/2002, 4:41:44 AM by JessicaDragonet
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To: JessicaDragonet
It's for The Children.
4 posted on 7/10/2002, 4:50:37 AM by Doctor Stochastic
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To: Doctor Stochastic
It's for The Children

Ok, then why can't the child support laws apply only to the parent that has custody of the child? Actually, they already exist - it's against the law to let your kid starve.

The children can be taken care of by the one who gets to make all the decisions about whether the child is even born in the first place, what extent the father will play in the child's life, etc.

Let me relate a story that kind of puts things in perspective. When my first boy was born, the nurse came to the hospital room to discuss circumscission with my wife. I began to state my opinion on, and the nurse interrupted me with something to the effect "It doesn't matter what you think about it, the only one who approves or disapproves the procedure is the mother."

I said, "no, wait, you must be confused... this isn't an illegitamate child, I'm not shacked up with the mother... we are married, that's my son."

She says, "it doesn't matter, only the mother makes the decision."

I don't even have any say over whether my son is circumscised or not, yet if my wife were to decide to leave me, I'd suddenly be forced to take part in supporting my child, and pay what the STATE thinks is right.

I'm all for supporting children, but it's none of governments business, especially as long as the government gives fathers no say over what happens with their children.

5 posted on 7/10/2002, 7:54:04 AM by Mr_Pacific
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To: Mr_Pacific
Even more complication on this issue comes when a man is paying child support (possibly to an ex-girlfriend who tells him she's pregnant or to an ex-wife) and it later comes out that he is not the father. There are courts that still hold this man to be responsible for the financial obligation to this child that is "his" even though he holds no legal right to be a part of this child's life.

Of course the woman could do the responsible thing and seek out the child's real father but so much of this discussion is not about doing the right thing...

6 posted on 7/10/2002, 8:18:05 AM by weegee
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To: Mr_Pacific
Let’s not forget only one need to show support ( your monthly check ) ( gee aren’t law’s to be applied equally ) The other can take that money and booze it away. ( or give to the current boyfriend )

Most men are Dumb Asses. If Everyone would “ Just Say No “ to this BS It would stop!

But the takeover requires that you keep one group at the others throat.

And no I’m not divorced

7 posted on 7/10/2002, 8:54:01 AM by quietolong
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To: quietolong
Most men are Dumb Asses. If Everyone would “ Just Say No “ to this BS It would stop! But the takeover requires that you keep one group at the others throat. And no I’m not divorced

Obviously, you're you're not divorced. You can't "just say no" to the judge who says how much you're going to pay.

Actually, you really can "just say no". Just be aware that you'll be saying it from jail.

8 posted on 7/10/2002, 9:35:33 AM by Bob
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To: Mr_Pacific
Have Anti-Father Family Court Policies Led to a Men's Marriage Strike?
9 posted on 7/10/2002, 1:37:25 PM by B4Ranch
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To: quietolong; Bob; weegee; Mr_Pacific; Doctor Stochastic; JessicaDragonet; Havisham
Most men are Dumb Asses. If Everyone would “ Just Say No “ to this BS It would stop!

A lot of men have tried that....a good portion of them are in jail for it. Equal protection and due process do not apply to fathers. Almost every father in this country (except for the VERY FEW true "deadbeats") wouldn't mind paying child support if they were not exempted from the constitutional rights granted to every other American, and if there wasn't any hidden alimony added to the amount that they are ordered to pay. As long as father-hating judges dominate the courts, nothing will change. In fact, expect it to get much worse in the coming years. Even if the states were to start passing legislation to help prevent fathers from becoming second class citizens, the courts decide what the laws mean, how the laws are applied and who they are applied to.

10 posted on 7/10/2002, 1:39:47 PM by Orangedog
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Comment #11 Removed by Moderator

Comment #12 Removed by Moderator

To: Mr_Pacific
I was one of those teens who knocked a girl up back in high school. Now I've always been a proud and honorable father who wanted to do the right thing for my daughter, but let's face it--it's a long road from 17 to 33. When I was 18 years old and still in high school I was ordered to make monthly support payments. Back then the support payments were quite reasonable ($100/month) so I took a part time job after school to pay them.
Upon graduation, I made a decision that would have a heavy impact on the rest of my life and on my daughter's life. I decided to join the Navy so as to ensure a steady paycheck so that I would know that I could support my daughter.
Over the course of the next five years, not a single support payment was missed even as they grew from $100/month to about $350/month.
As my enlistment neared an end, I made another conscious decision that perhaps my choice to join hadn't been the right one--I was able to support my daughter financially but we never saw each other and didn't know each other. Her mother was (is) a bit slutty and had 3 more children with three different bio dads, so my daughter became used to calling different guys "dad." When she was 6 years old, she was molested by one of her mother's boyfriends (something I only recently learned about).
Since my separation from the Navy, I've become a permanent fixture in my daughter's life and [due to drugs (paid for in part with my money, no doubt) and psychological problems on the part of her mother] have had custody for over 2 years now.
There were times between then and now that I've been unemployed and my arrearages grew even though I wasn't working. When I first got custody, I still had almost $3000 in arrears to pay from my times of unemployment that I had never had the resources to catch up. Now all is paid which forced considerable hardship on us since I now have to pay the day to day and emergency expenses related to raising a child. Her mother has never been required to pay a dime of support to me--no seek work orders, no threatening letters from the Polk County, WI Child Support office, nothing.
On the bright side, I'm now in a position where, although it's an occasional struggle, I don't really need support. And my daughter has stability and a much better role model in her life. Considering what she's been through, she's really an amazing young lady.
13 posted on 7/10/2002, 2:18:28 PM by Equality 7-2521
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To: one_particular_harbour
Oh yeah...or requesting custody of the kids might be too much work (not to mention actually having custody--being a single parent is a heck of a lot of work and responsibility). Or offering to terminate the parental rights with the caveat that they still want to see the kids on a regular schedule.
14 posted on 7/10/2002, 2:24:41 PM by Catspaw
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To: Equality 7-2521
Congradulations on getting custody of your daughter. She sounds like she's very happy with you as her custodial parent. And you could go back to court for child support. If she's unemployed, asked for them to impute income for her and assess child support at that rate.

A man on our block was just awarded custody of his daughter and they're both happy. Her mom moved to the UP with her--a big no-no. Can't move out of state (Wisconsin) without the other parent's permission or consent of the court and she had neither. Not only did she lose custody, but now she's paying child support--and his legal fees. That's one unhappy momma.

15 posted on 7/10/2002, 2:31:29 PM by Catspaw
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To: Catspaw
Thanks for the advice, but images of blood and turnips fill my mind--and the blood isn't coming from the turnips in my visions.
16 posted on 7/10/2002, 2:44:23 PM by Equality 7-2521
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To: Mr_Pacific
Good luck with this.
17 posted on 7/10/2002, 2:47:22 PM by thepitts
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To: thepitts
Bump
18 posted on 7/10/2002, 4:44:34 PM by trussell
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To: Equality 7-2521
...she's really an amazing young lady.

She's got an amazing dad. Kudos.

19 posted on 7/10/2002, 6:05:45 PM by xJones
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To: one_particular_harbour
So lemme guess - your wife left you, took the kids, and wants you to get off your ass to go get a job and support them. Right?

Ha! i wondered how long it would be before someone made that jab. No, guess again. I'm married, and the kids are right here with me. Divorce or seperation are not in the forseeable future.

My turn to guess: You are one of those people who only care about injustices that directly effect you. Right?

20 posted on 7/10/2002, 7:00:40 PM by Mr_Pacific
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