Posted on 07/17/2002 2:06:41 PM PDT by rhema
Edited on 04/13/2004 3:36:45 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
Everyone knows that American family structure is changing. In recent decades, large increases in divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing have dramatically altered the social landscape. But a related social change has received little attention. That's the extraordinary rise in cohabitation, in which an unmarried man and woman share a household as sexual partners.
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
Well I have now changed my opinion completely. If a man can get away with just living with his woman, he ought to to it. Marriage should only be undertaken if the couple have lived together for a sufficient period of time that the man would would trust the woman in marriage - and even then, be very wary of the process.
Why? Because once a man and woman are married, the woman holds all the cards. The woman can utterly and totally destroy the man's life with no or little pretense. If children are produced, the man's life can be made a living hell with just one false and vengeful accusation of abuse.
And I say this as a relatively happy married guy! I have seen so many friends, co-workers and family members worked over by a vengeful spouse that I have lost my faith in our justice system to protect the rights of a man wrongfully accused by a vengeful spouse of unspeakable acts. My advice to my fellow men is to avoid marriage if possible.
tis better to have loved and lost...No?
In the US, twice as many women file for divorce as men. Financially, women make out literally like bandits in a divorce. They get a whole bunch of money they never had to earn. They steal it, legally.
Ask any poor schmuck who got screwed in a divorce what marriage is all about.
Why is there a growing "marriage strike" among men in the US? It's simple - marriage is too risky - legally, financially and emptionally. Loose your kids, your rights, all of your assets and become a criminal without due process. It's a suckers game for fools. Men are finally wising up.
Seems incredible, doesn't it? But I will say that God makes vessels of honor and some vessels of dishonor. Pharoah was a vessel of dishonor, and was used by God none-the-less. Why can't our ex-prez be? As concerning their marriage, it may have been a match made in heaven. ;^)
Sorry, that's not the answer. Your advice to refrain from marriage because we can't deal with the symptoms of the real problem will only worsen our condition.
Men in America have stood up and shaken their fist at God and said, "No thanks, I'll do it my own way!!" That's the problem, and until the one who "was created in God's image" addresses it, our marriages, our families, our communities, and our country will continue to disintegrate.
Also, those only interested in Ses but not Committment split real fast!
where's the part about taking a mate for granted because they are now locked in "for better or for worse?"
sometimes i think shacking up works in reverse because "partners" know that the other person can easily walk out the door with no cumbersome and costly divorce, so they're less likely to treat the other person like crap, simply because they can walk at a moment's notice.
whereas if you're married you know it's a pain in the butt to actually go through divorce proceedings, so you put up with (or dish out) more crap for a longer period of time; some married couples just put up with crap for decades just to keep married; i don't see the happiness in this.
i may be wrong on this one, but i've observed this situation many times.
he NEVER bought a house nor a car during our marriage, so i didn't get any house or car. he left when my daughter was 2 weeks old because he decided he didn't want kids after all (3 years into the marriage). he has always worked low paying jobs to avoid paying any substantive child support.
2nd ex-hubbie has NEVER paid child support whatsoever and his son is soon to turn 15. he is a single man on welfare for the last 13 years. i ALWAYS had to support my family with little , actually NO help from daddykins, so, no, it doesn't always work in the woman's favor, and i'm living proof of that. i'll agree that many men have been shafted out there, and, having been shafted twice, i feel for them; however, it is much more difficult for a woman to make a living (given same educational level and background) than it is for a man. if a woman wants to earn over $22K a year in NY, she either has to have AT LEAST a 4 year degree (something i DON'T have), or be a stripper (something i would never stoop to).
I never implied sex, a wee bit of a filthy mind have you? I will share, as one who dated many women in my life, I would never bother twice with girls who possessed overbearing families. Who needs it, there are too many fish in the sea if you get my drift, nod-nod-wink-wink.
Also, while I am at it, let me go on record stating I believe it to be the highest form of BS to think there is really only one perfect person for anyone out there. And to think people have accused me of having delusions because I used to smoke a little pot, least I didn’t believe in fairy tales. Really some of you folk make BS an art form.
Sounds like the opposite of the advice my Dad gave to my sister and me about NOT shacking up because many men had the attitude "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Frankly I think our society would be a lot more civilized if girls learned how to keep their legs together and demanded better behavior from the men they choose!
And where have we seen this attitude manifested before...oh yeah, our beloved ex-POTUS. People are quick to badmouth Clinton for his sexual largesse, but he is really only a reflection of guys like you.
All joking aside, I see the problem faced by young people today. I truly feel sorry for them and do not know what exactly is the problem. Too much expectation? Not enough willingness to work on things? Looking for the wrong things in a spouse? I do not know - but I see it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.