Public Sex, Marrying Within the Family, and Dry Wells

Dear Mrs Web Daily Personal Advice Column ^ | Wednesday, July 31, 2002 | Dear Mrs. Web

[Commander8]

Item 1.
A real mother would never leave her underaged daughter(15 is too young even to date) alone with a boy let alone allow her to fool around in some alley or park bathroom.
Item 2.
Being involved with the ex-spouses of family members seem like something very painful and I know it's something I would avoid.
Item 3.
Every family has a difficult member. I have aunts and uncles my father has not seen in almost forty years because they think he is a dry well.

[mlmr]

Smart columist. Moral fabric is way too important to take lightly

Forturnatly the culture is changing and the seventies dinosours and their get, like the ones that are on this thread, are dying off.

We are not needing to teach a lost generation whose parents dropped the moral ball. These who want a more traditional morality are young and searching.

[benjaminthomas]

I know women who have had hundreds, sometimes thousands of partners by thirty

I guess this thread is dead by now, but are you serious? Assuming they started at 15, that's more than 100 different partners a year, every year, for 15 years. Were your acquaintances porn stars or hookers? And did their husbands know they were #2001? Did they care?

[mlmr]

This thread isn't as dead as you think because there is a nasty little secret about multiple partners for women. It contributes to sterility. Many women with mulitple partners become sterile becasue of silent pelvic inflamnatory disease.

[benjaminthomas]

Well, you'd think that might be the least of their problems, having been used/abused by thousands over a relatively short time period. Heck, I don't care if it's 50 years, 1000 partners is just kinda creepy. I'd guess there is some pretty severe pyschological damage going on, in addition to the physical. Not to mention that with that many partners, regardless of the birth control measures (so sanguinely assumed by our dear correspondent)used, there are bound to have been multiple pregnancies (likely all terminated).

In a word, sick.

[mlmr]

I absolutely agree with you and we see the results of this sort of behavior in the almost PTSD qualities of promiscious men and women and both sex prostitiutes.

They lose their hearts and souls.

[Restorer]

Just found this thread. Very interesting.

Just wanted to let you know that not everybody who reached adulthood during the 70s agrees with you.

How anyone can look around at the wreckage created by the sexual revolution, the most profound disaster of our time, and think that it has been a benefit to society is quite beyond my comprehension.

I have no desire to force my beliefs on you or anyone else.

The fundamental building block of society is the family. Sexual adventurism destroys families. Most of our problems, especially those of minorities and poor people, are caused by the decline of families.

You can connect the dots yourself.

[Pablo64]

Thanks for the candid reply. As you can probably guess, I don't agree with your position (since I don't think that God is outdated), but you do have free will (which He gave to you, by the way :). I also don't think that by ignoring these kinds of moral issues we are "better off for it", as you put it, but I don't have time to go there, and I don't want to get any farther off topic than I have.

Nice chatting.

[gcruse]

How to Hug a Porcupine

I bought a book one time
titled How To Hug, but I
had to take it back.  It was
the sixth volume in a set
of encyclopedia.

[supercat]

More importantly, I don't think there is any reason to believe that sex out of wedlock is wrong. I think that an ideal life includes plenty of premarital sex. And I don't consider myself a hedonist, either. I think that people who marry as virgins have far more regrets on their deathbed than people who behave morally. Rules that may have been appropriate before condoms and penicilin and women in the work force are just outdated.

[Reposted from another thread]

Teaching kids such things wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so prone to forget a few key points:

1. Premarital pregnancy is NOT ACCEPTABLE.
2. The fact that abortion is legal does not change #1.
3. Penile-vaginal contact between fertile individuals creates a non-zero risk of pregancy, no matter what contraceptive methods are employed.
4. Marriage between conception and childbirth may render the premarital pregnancy marginally acceptable, but see #9.
5. One may only experience any form of intimacy "the first time", once.
6. Having all of one's intimate "first times" with the same person makes them much sweeter in a manner that may only be appreciated by one who does so.
7. Premature intimacy can and often will sabotage a relationship, just as building the walls of a building will doom the project if done before the foundation is secure.
8. If one becomes accustomed to the "quick payoff" offered by short-term intimate relationships, it will become very hard to wait out the non-intimate parts which are necessary at the start of a real one.
9. One is unlikely to know at 16 the identity of the person with whom one is really going to want to spend the rest of one's days.

Taken as a whole, these principles do not totally rule out premarital intimacy. My wife and I started sharing a bed after we got engaged but had she gotten pregnant before we were married I would have been 100% certain it wasn't by me. As to whether others would be able to share a bed for three months without engaging in penile-vaginal intercourse, I'm sure some would and some wouldn't. My late wife and I thought we could and we did. I would not, however, expect a typical pair of 17-year-olds to be able to do likewise.

[mlmr]

How to Hug"

LOL But it is a very good book!

[mlmr]

You write words of true wisdom, sir.