Posted on 09/27/2002 9:17:18 AM PDT by PetroniDE
Ever have abyone ask "How Old Are You"? If they tell you, chances are they are lying. Here is a handy conversion chart to determine someones real age, based on what they tell you.
0-5 (Early Childhood). Believe them. Children are cute and get lots of attention/presents anyway, so there is no reason to lie.
6-12 (Middle Childhood). Add one year. They still believe in Santa Claus, and are looking for one last gift from him.
13 (Childhood/Teenage Transition). Believe them. Transition period between middle childhood and teenager.
14-20 (Teenager). Subtract one year, two if 18-19. They start by lying regarding obtaining driver's licenses, then expand this regarding purchase of lottery tickets, dirty magazines, cigarettes, staying out late, etc. Check all ID very carefully. In democrat areas, voting eligibility is another cause.
21 (Majority). Believe them. Transition between teenager and early adult.
22-24 (Early Adult). Add until you reach 25. The magic number is 25, which results n a dramatic decrease in automobile insurance. Democrats especially suspect as they start running for US Congress at this age.
25-33 (Early Prime). The longest period where people are truthful about age. They lie about status, money, and other things during this period, but age is not one of them.
34-38 (Late Prime). Add one year if single and/or cheating, believe them if happily married. Married people at this time don't lie about their age (no need to). Singles and cheaters are running short on their "prime time", so they begin to forget years.
39 (The Hump). Add at least one year. No one is 39. They are 40 and haigher, just afraid to admit it.
40-48 (Early Middle Age). Add one year if happily married, add two years if single/cheating and 40-44, three years if single/cheating and 45-48. Singles and cheaters are more desperate. Married people enjoy the "over the hill" surprise parties they typically get at this age and want another one.
49-54 (Middle Age). Surprisingly, most people are honest at 49. 50 is when the "senior discounts" begin to apply, to subtract one at 50, and two at 51. No adjustment at 52-54.
55-61 (Late Middle Age). Subtract one year except at 61. More "senior discounts" apply at 55 and the tapping of retirement funds start at 59-1/2.
62-66 (Early Senior). Subtract one 62-65, subtract two at 66. Looking to get an early start on Social Security collection (what little it is), and even more "senior discounts" at 65.
67+ (Senior). They lie about their age, but you can't tell in which direction. Unless they are democrats from Florida, use the age they give you. Since democrats from Florida often don't even know which direction they are lying in, ask for a recount
21 (Majority). Believe them. Transition between teenager and early adult.
If someone says they're 21, they're probably lying so you will serve them beer.
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