The most politically correct college student in the nation

Haverford-Bryn Mawr College News ^

[Our man in washington]

(The following is a letter that recently appeared in the Haverford-Bryn Mawr college newspaper. The context here is that "The Last Word" is a humor column in that college paper that is in the Dave Barry style. Just goofy stuff for fun, such as "Bryn Mawr to Build a Parking Space-Target Completion Date Set at Spring, 2008." Here is a recent letter to the college newspaper in protest.)

Dear Editor,

I would like to express my grave discontent with the humor section of the newspaper. The Last Word serves no purpose to the campus community and succeeds only in making a mockery of all that is true and good in the world.

Allow me to explain. Right now, across the world, there are literally millions, if not billions, of people out there who struggle each day just to survive. Many nations of the world are constantly suffering from famines, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and other natural disasters. Some, like those in Yugoslavia and Iraq, suffer not from natural disasters but from unjustifiable intervention by the United States. And, as if I have not made my point already, there are those within our very borders who never know if there will be food on the table in a week.

Yet, the Last Word is concerned with none of these things. Instead, it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself, who try to correct those problems, by trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work.

Well, I’m not laughing. And I’d bet, that if you actually took a poll of the Haverford and Bryn Mawr students, you would find I am part of a silent majority. That is why I ask that David Langlieb stop his immoral page and replace it one that is more productive, one that attempts to address the challenging issues of the modern world.

Sincerely, Jennifer Zachary-Higgins, BMC ‘05

[wardaddy]

Boy.....the bleary-eyed blind idealism and do-goodery of lazy college youth with no responsibilites(or experience in life) to speak of and entirely too much time on their hands.......reminds me of myself at that age sadly.

I hope she "wakes up" ....some never do.

[aruanan]

Yet, the Last Word is concerned with none of these things. Instead, it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself, who try to correct those problems, by trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work.

Yes, Jennifer, especially you.

Until everyone in the world is born into a loving family that will nurture them and teach them to live and love and celebrate the unique personhood of everyone else, then no one should because to do otherwise would be to tell the teeming masses living in filth and degradation that their lives aren't any more important than cockroaches.

Until everyone in the world is well-fed, no one should be well-nourished because that's just the same as spitting into the face of the starving masses and telling them to just eat cake.

Unless we brought enough sugar cookies for everyone, no one should have any because that wouldn't be fair, at least according to the American Association of Kindergarten Teachers, that august body that has started you on the particular road to learning that has led you directly to Haverford-Bryn Mawr.

Until everyone in the world can be happy, no one should be happy, and if they do happen to be so in spite of the horror that is existence, they should be made to feel very, very guilty about it--by someone just like you.

[general_re]

That boy looks a little too happy. Which reminds me - the gayest man I have ever met in my entire life worked at Haverford College. At least, he was last I knew, a couple of years ago.

Coincidence?

[dighton]

... it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself, who try to correct those problems, by trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work.

[aculeus]

And, as if I have not made my point already, there are those within our very borders who never know if there will be food on the table in a week.

Oh shut up.

[Orual]

Jennifer Zachary-Higgins

[nothingnew]

Then I noticed the hyphenated last name.

BINGO...first thing I noticed after putting my breakfast in the porcelain bowl half-way through the her spew.

FMCDH

[LiteKeeper]

bump

[dfwgator]

Some, like those in Yugoslavia and Iraq, suffer not from natural disasters but from unjustifiable intervention by the United States.

Well at least she was right on one thing, the intervention in Yugoslavia was unjustified.

[LiteKeeper]

bump for anytime I need a good laugh

[Sender]

Go to the site and click on the "Last Word" page for humorous rebuttals to this person. Example:

Interview #1 (with Mookers the staff monkey)

Mookers: Do you find the Last Word offensive and an attack on your right to feed Afghani children?

Cindy Williams: Aww..how cute! A newspaper monkey that talks! Want a banana?

Mookers: (smacking the banana away) Don’t degrade me. Answer the question, bitch.

Cindy: How dare you? You’re just as classless as The Last Word and that sorry excuse for a newspaper.

Editor’s Note: The interview ended when Mookers attacked Cindy Williams and bit off a piece of her face.

[Intimidator]

Jennifer Zachary-Higgins, BMC ‘05

The name clued me in. 99.9% of all people with a double last name are liberals

[GSWarrior]

No doubt a journalism major.

[section9]

At first, I thought that this had to be from The Onion.

But no, it's really true.

And what it reveals is a great and wonderful thing. The parties have switched positions since the 1920's, to the extent that H.L. Mencken's description of Republicans now hold's true for the Democratic Party: "...they live in constant fear that someone, somewhere, might be having a good time."

Be Seeing You,

Chris

[texas booster]

Did you catch the tag line for the campus radio station?

Radio with a hammer and sickle!

How about the name of the campus cafe? Lunt Cafe! What does Lunt stand for, hmmm...

In Texas, the only place close to this lunacy is in Austin, and maybe at a sub shop in Dallas where the anti-war protesters gather.

Talk about a race of sub-geniuses. All bought and paid for by Daddy's money, taken in the divorce.

We need to send them Joe Bob Briggs to serve up a dose of reality.

[Our man in washington]

You're right about Haverford being out of touch with reality. However, "Lunt" is the name of a dormitory there, named after a professor who used to work there.

[Junior]

Post this in the column's place. The student body could use a good laugh and maybe the writer will learn a valuable lesson on how to lighten up.

[JoeSixPack1]

.........., you would find I am part of a silent majority.

Hmmmmmmmm......does little "me too person" feel all small and alone?

A controlled mind showing initiative means the control has taken root and the program is a success. Have pity. :-)

[justsomedude]

Right now, across the world, there are literally millions, if not billions, of people out there who struggle each day just to survive. Many nations of the world are constantly suffering from famines, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and other natural disasters

LET'S see: famine, pestilence, war, earthquakes in diverse places...

Last Word?

Indeed.

[justsomedude]

LOL...sort of looks (and sounds) like algore.