Dear Mr. Ex-President

Dear Mr. Ex President:

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, …specifically:

1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anybody out?

2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until he was older to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about it that I did as a senior in college.

3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially in the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning of the word "is" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one involved does NOT have sex.

4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog" could be plausible after all.

5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.

6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about the Democratic Party’s illegal campaign fund raising.

7. Thank you for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.

8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips.

9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars-I really didn't need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more well deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned dollars than jet fuel for all of your globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration.

10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons- in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society.

11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware, I'm sure that Laura Bush didn’t like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you've received from your "friends".

12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing removing all of that excess weight (china, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass,flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel, thank you!

13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her up-coming "tell- all" book and you, Bill, the $5 million advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn't pay!

14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammad Atta go free**. God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and frugally.

Sincerely,

A U.S. Citizen

P.S. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing" the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful letter.

** Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners". However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, “insisted” that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth? What a guy!! If you agree that the American public must be made aware of these facts, pass this on.

If you got it in email, it's been posted.

Alas, this part

Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners". However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, “insisted” that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth?

is wrong. Similar name, different criminal.

The last one is a hoax.

"Thanks for helping China to develop the capability to send nuclear bombs anywhere in the world. I know they gave you $50K for your campaign in '96, but it was OK because you gave it back to them in 98 when you were caught."

The Mohammed Atta connection is an urban legend. Clinton did enough in office without using lies to further diminish his already pathetic legacy.

Info on the Atta hoax

Muhammad Atta

Netlore Archive
Description: Email rumor
Status: False
Circulating since: September 2001
Analysis: See below

Email text contributed by Bob Dashman, 12 October 2001:

Subject: Atta

Terrorist pilot Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement Israel had to agree to release so called "political prisoners". However, they would not release any with "blood on their hands". Some well meaning American President and Secretary of State insisted that all be released.

Thus Mr. Atta was freed and eventually thanked us the US by flying an airplane into tower one of the world trade center. This was reported by many of the networks at the time the terrorists were first identified. It was missing from later reports.

This was Ronald Reagan and George Schultz.

Email text contributed by Eric Kirman, 6 November 2001:

In case you didn't know ... Please pass this on.

Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him.

As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners." However, the Israelis would not release any with "blood on their hands." The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released.

Thus Mr. Atta was freed and eventually "thanked the US" by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified.

It was censored in the US from all later reports.
The American public must be made aware of this fact.

Comments: Well, if we're going to play the blame game, let's at least get the identity of the terrorist right. It was not Muhammad Atta — believed to be the mastermind behind the September attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon — who was convicted of the 1986 bombing and machine gun attack on a bus in Samaria, sentenced to life imprisonment and later released. It was Mahmoud Abed Atta, a Palestinian associated with the Abu Nidal terror organization. They are not the same person.

According to the Jerusalem Post, Mahmoud Abed Atta fled to Venezuela after the bus attack but was deported to the U.S. and eventually (in 1990) extradited to Israel, where he was tried and sentenced for his crime. His subsequent release from prison, confirmed by the Israeli Justice Ministry, had nothing to do with the Oslo Accord or intervention by either the Reagan or the Clinton administration. It was the result of a finding by the Supreme Court of Israel that Abed Atta's extradition process was flawed. The freed terrorist's whereabouts are now unknown, officials say.

Accounts differ on when WTC terrorist Muhammad Atta became a political activist, but in any case he was only 18 and living with his family in Cairo when the 1986 bus attack occurred. In 1992 he moved to Germany, where he met his future co-conspirators and ultimately began plotting the September 11 attacks.

The Jerusalem Post attributes confusion about the identities of the two terrorists to "rumors circulating on the Internet," but in fact those rumors had their origin in erroneous press reports during the first few days after September 11.

Sources and further reading:

Internet Rumors Aside, WTC Attacker Not Held by Israel
Jerusalem Post, 8 November 2001
A Case of Mistaken Identity
Anti-Defamation League, November 2001

Clues Emerge to the Making of a Fanatic
Sydney Morning Herald, 24 September 2001

Related:

Terrorism Rumors & Hoaxes
Coverage of rumors and Net hoaxes in the wake of Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon

http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/blatta.htm

15. The people of Japan,South Korea, Hawii, and Alaska thank you for helping North Korea develop nuclear weapons.

They willappreicate you even more when[not if]the North Koreans demonestrate how good the said weapons work.

You can probably find a few more here.

Ping

Thanks for the info on the 'real' Atta. I had heard this story before but never heard it discredited. I will pass this info along.

Good one! I think you can also include the citizens of the United States!

After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six and injured 1,000, President Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down and punished.

Kind of reminds ya of what OJ said about finding the 'real' killers - eh?

You got that right.