Funny Clinton vs. Bush Joke

email | 11/11/02 | unknown

[ImaGraftedBranch]

Shortly after President Bush took office, an old man approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

[ImaGraftedBranch]

Shortly after President Bush took office, an old man approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

The marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr.Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay,"and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

The marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."

The marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Clinton; I've told you already that Mr. Clinton is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow."

[Free the USA]

LOL
bump

[stylin_geek]

ROFLMAO.....because I can see the Marine snapping to attention when the old man says he likes to hear that Clinton is no longer in the White House.

[billorites]

Let me get this straight.

Are you insinuating that Marines don't venerate President Bill Clinton?

[facedown]

LOL bump!

[stylin_geek]

Nothing implied, insinuated, or otherwise hinted at. He comes right out and makes it very plain.

[Nachum]

very good!

[Mrs. P]

Ahh, thank you, I needed that!

[Irish Eyes]

ROTF :-)

[anniegetyourgun]

Actually, I think you have a great idea there for bumper sticker:

HILLARY 2006

[seamas]

I don't know if you are aware of the tradition of having the Pres over to the Marine barracks that protect the White House. The tradition is the pres buys the drinks for the officers. Clinton was sent the bill, but he never paid it the whole time he was in office. Heard this from a Marine Colonel, and believe it to be true.

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

It certainly wouldn't surprise me if this were true.

[GaltMeister]

Here's another one for you:

EX Pres. Clintern and Jerry Falwell happened to be on the same cross-country airline flight. Since they are both national figures and VIP's, the flight crew seated them together in first class. Shortly after the plane took off, the stewardess approched with a drink cart.

"Mr Clinton, would you like a drink?" Clinton says "yea, gimme a double manhattan." She mixes the drink, hands it to bubba, and he says 'thankya' and starts sipping. She turns to Rev. Falwell: "Reverand Falwell, would you like a drink?" Falwell responds: "Madam, I would rather be stripped naked in public, run through the streets, then beaten and raped by a brazen harlot than have alcohol touch these lips." Clinton, hearing this, chokes on his drink and hands it back to the stewardess, saying "Hell, I didn't know we had a CHOICE!"

[billorites]

I think I understand.

I hope I get invited to your table.

My treat.

Really.

[MinorityRepublican]

Very funny!

[TEXOKIE]

ROFL!!! GOTTA READ THIS THREAD!

[shaggy eel]

,,, I haven't heard this one before.

[Pharmboy]

OUTSTANDING!

[50sDad]

Posted this on another thread:

You know, at Bill's second Innaugrial, I am listening to the radio account, and the Marine Corps band kicks in with a John Phillip Sousa march as Bill comes in.

And the music, dear God, is the Monty Python theme!

I still laugh at that. Some fellow, some bandleader, slipped one in on the President, that hollow suit that mistreated the military and sneered at them with scorn. Hey, they said pick a Sousa march!

[Alberta's Child]

George W. Bush and Bill Clinton are in a barber shop, getting a shave and a haircut. The barber finishes his work on Clinton first, and proceeds to splash a bit of after-shave on the former president.

"What are you doing?" Clinton explodes, jumping out of the chair as soon as the scent of the lotion reaches his nostrils, "If I go home smelling like this, Hillary will think I spent the afternoon in a brothel!"

The barber apologizes profusely, then proceeds to do his best to rinse the after-shave off Clinton.

The barber then proceeds to work on President Bush. When he is finished, he hesitates with a look of concern on his face and nervously motions with the after-shave.

"Would you like the after-shave, Mr. President?" he asks quietly.

"Sure -- what the heck!" President Bush replies, "My wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like!"

[DugwayDuke]

Since we're doing Clinton and Bush jokes, here's the best one I've heard.

Seems Bill and GW used the same barber shop and do to a scheduling screw-up both were scheduled for the same time and same day. Things didn't go badly since the two pretty much ignored each other.

Clinton's barber finished first and as he reached for the smelly tonic, Bill exclaimed: "No, none of that, Hillary will think I've been in a whore house."

Well, GW's barber just stood there with the tonic in his hand. GW looked at Clinton and then at the barber and said: "Go ahead, my wife's never been in a whore house."

[Becki]

He comes right out and makes it very plain.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

;^ )

Becki

[AngrySpud]

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy ...

If your family gene pool doesn't have a deep end, you might be a Clinton.

[Boonie Rat]

OK, A remake...
Seems Bill Clinton walks out front of the White House one snowy day and someone had peed in the snow "Slick Willy Sucks".
Bill goes ballistic. He calls the CIA, FBI, NSA, Capital Police, Sheriff, and tells them "I want to know who did this, and I want to know by noon".
About 10:00 the FBI director arrives at the White House and meets with Clinton.
"Mr. President", he says, "We've found the culprit". Clinton asks who did it and the FBI director says "Sir, It was Al Gore that peed in the snow, but it was in Hillary's handwriting".

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Here is one from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette from about five years ago. I hope I can remember it correctly.

Once Prez(gag) Clintoon and the Hildibeast were being driven through the Ozarks when they stopped to get gas. Hillary recognized the station attendant as a man she used to date and remarked about it to Bill.
Bill laughed and said "Just think. You could have been the wife of a gas station attendant instead of being married to the President of the U.S."
Hillary says "If I'd married HIM, HE would be President of the U.S. and You would be pumping gas!"

[Alamo-Girl]

LOLOL! Very funny! Thanks for the heads up!

[Jalapeno]

What did Bill say when his wife got him boxers?

"They should warm my ankles nicely."

---

The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of crap that he can't fly.

---

President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear.

All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!".

She looks surprised but leaves.

The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"

[Young Werther]

Given the chance, I suspect that Marines would just love to "ventillate" him on the end of fixed bayonets!

[ocos]

8Th&I the Marine Corps Barracks does not protect the White House. Semper Fi.

[longfellow]

on newsmax there is a book for sale that says something about the way the Marines were saluting s***head that it was actually an insult, did anyone read this and how were they doing it?

[rdb3]

Very, very good!

No mercy.
Coming soon: Tha SYNDICATE.
101 things that the Mozilla browser can do that Internet Explorer cannot.

[cyclotic]

I think the insulting salute was to continually look straight ahead as he passed. If I recall, the tradition and sign of respect is for the Marine Guard is to salute and turn toward the President as he walked by. Evidently, these guards stood straight.

Of course, with that insulting Doofus salute that the moron used to do, the total hatred of that man by the entire armed forces of the Uniteds States was completely and fully justified.

[SMEDLEYBUTLER]

An urban legend that was exposed as such a long time ago.

[sheik yerbouty]

Of course. They paeon him!