Posted on 1/14/2003, 2:49:44 PM by KLT
PYONGYANG — For the last three months, a CBS producer has been searching North Korea for a family to become the newest reality TV stars in a show patterned after "The Osbournes," and now the show is set to premier opposite the Super Bowl. CBS chose a self-described "kooky" family who lives in the lap of luxury.
CBS is billing "The Kim Jongs" as "The Osbournes" meets "The Addams Family." Absolute Ruler Kim Jong Il shuffles around his PyongYang mansion (a seven-story palace equipped with bar, karaoke machine, a mini movie theater) in slippers and jumpsuits, whining about George W. Bush and executing dissidents. Forced starvation and anti-American rhetoric compose the majority of the show’s unbearably repulsive content.
Swamped with murderous cruelties, "The Kim Jongs" barrages fans with unwarranted executions at the rate of about two a minute. In the first episode, an apparently lost driver who finds himself on the road leading to Kim's secluded beach house is shot twice in the back as he tries to run away from Kim's bodyguards. A minute later a fishing boat is spotted near the same beach house, both people on board are shot, but their families are awarded color television sets and refrigerators because their loved-ones die "in the line of duty."
Sexual content intrudes the show by way of Kim's wild parties. Kim spends every night drinking his favorite beverage, Paekdu Mountain Bulnoju (Eternal Youth), a rice liquor on par with Southern Comfort, and partying with a female band and dancers wearing micro-minis and tank tops.
Early into the show, it becomes apparent that Kim has a drinking problem. His day begins with a drink while body boarding in his enormous swimming pool with a wave machine. Kim likes to get on a body board fitted with a small motor and play in the artificial waves. He is quick to anger if he isn't the center of attention, but when in a good mood, he showers his bodyguards with gifts of bananas and toilet paper—rare luxuries in North Korea.
"The Kim Jongs" reeks of dysfunction and insanity. Kim verbally abuses his wife and children and they shout right back at him. When Kim tells his youngest son to shoot his best friend because he is "pissing all over the house," Kim's son yells back, "I'd rather shoot you instead." Kim becomes enraged when his wife mimics a sexual position with a rare banana, shouting at her, "where do you think these things come from, TREES?"
In an exclusive interview with BSNN.net, Kim defended his show: "People who don’t rule with absolute power will go, ‘These people are fuckin' heathen,’ but with our family, you take the good with the bad. Through all the craziness, you see that there's a family that finds love and togetherness by ruling and persecuting 22 million people just because we can."
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How funny was it????!!! See above!
The Who?
Yeah, that's why "Drill" is first... You oughta see the hybrid car threads. Some of the posters are astonished that a FReeper owns a Prius and likes it. Some try to evangelize me into low-efficiency SUVs...
Pete Townshend's solicitor (oops) has released a statement. "Mr Townshend won't get fooled again. We look forward to a resolution to the situation. It's a unique problem to my generation."
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