I'm prolly stuck with small guns.
My hands are too small for most double stackers.
And being a guy, this is embarrassing.
I have pretty small hands, too. You don't need a double stacker to defend yourself unless you subscribe to the spray and pray doctrine. Firepower isn't number of rounds in the air...it's the number of accurate dynamic hits on the target. I'll bet you could handle a ParaOrdnance C6 .45ACP with not much practice and it would do the job nicely. Not a double stacker. In a pinch if you wanted a large caliber with a small grip you could go with a Ruger Vacquero in 45 Colt (Long Colt) sporting small "Bird's head" grips. Get a 3 or 4 inch barrel and then an old west style shoulder holster. Or you can get my buddy, custom holster maker SAM ANDREWS in Alachua Florida to custom make you an IWB for it. Thats:
http://www.andrewsleather.com It'd be a slow shooter, and a terribly slow reload, but whatever you hit is going to the pavement and right now.