Posted on 08/22/2004 10:28:13 PM PDT by power2
Fellow Christian Freepers,
I have struggled for the last several years with decisions such as what city or neighborhood to move to, what house to buy, whether to accept a new job offer to stay where I was at, etc..
I seem to have screwed up every major decision despite sincere and frequent prayer to our Lord for His guidance, asking for His will to be done (as opposed to help me get the job with the most money, the biggest house, etc.). I truley wanted to do whatever would draw me and my family closer to Him, to do what would help my family grow in holiness.
Some of the moves have been absolutely disasterous for my kids (shunned and/or pummeled by new "neighbors"), to the point they almost need some counseling. My health has been greatly affected by making job moves that seem to always be the wrong ones.
It has really shaken my faith in prayer, and in some ways in the Lord. It is as if He is ignoring my prayers, and letting me and my family twist in the wind. Many times I feel as if my family and I are under attack from the enemy from all sides, and the Lord is standing back.
I know in my heart and soul that this is not so, but there are days......
Any suggestions as to how I can do a better job at discerning the Lords will when making these decisions, or help me get over the feeling that the Lord has abandoned us?
God Bless, and Thanks.
Find the book Decision Making and the Will of God, by Gary Friesen...it is the BEST!
I wish I could tell you an easy way to be sure that decisions you make about where to live, what job to take, etc are the right ones, but I can't. I can tell you that the Lord has not abandoned you. He promised to never leave you , or to forsake you. That is a fact that you can cling to no matter what is happening.
What I would do is when in the circumstance after having made the move, or the new job change and finding it not what I hoped it would be is get on my knees and ask God to show you how to make the best of the situation as it is now.
I have been in messes that I thought there was no way out of. In time I realized that although it didn't appear to be the case while I was in the mess, God was there all of the time. If only we could learn to "wait on the Lord", have faith through the storm we would live much more peaceful lives wouldn't we?
God is faithful power2, and He will guide you through whatever situation you find yourself in. Keep on praying and seeking His will, and you will find out things work out for the best when you trust Him. Hope this helps a little.
The Bible is full of people used by God who could say the things you do. Some were left in the desert for years before God used them. Everything happens in God's time and according to His will.
We need to be humble and know that it may not be His will that we be right in what are really mundane matters, though they may seem like big matters to us.
What God desires is for us to love and serve one another. Put the needs of others ahead of your own. Honor marriage. Protect the chidren and stand up for those who can't for themselves.
God will let you know his will when it's necessary for you to know.
I always remind myself that PRAYER is my talking to God and MEDITATION is listening to God....I have two ears and one mouth I need to listen at least twice as much as talk...Read the book of Job....The key that I have found is a gratitude list...hard to be upset when you are grateful...You need to learn to want what you have....You get to learn the lessons in a more or less difficult manner...the same lessons will always keep coming back to you in louder and louder ways until you understand it....And one last thought is that perhaps you are the problem....what can you do to be a worker among workers, a friend among friends, to just be willing to be part of the whole.....what are YOU doing to distance yourself???
Well, it turned out to be a disaster for the faith of our children. They suffered one faith shattering experience after another. We were miserable in so many ways. The misfortunes kept coming. I only half jokingly referred to myself as Job.
We extracted ourselves from the situation and returned to the Philadelphia area.
I am happy to report that our children have since returned to the church and now they are more aware of keeping their own children from harmful influences than we ever were.
Do what's right by your wife and children and The Lord's plan will be revealed. I will pray that you will find His peace.
I'm faced with many of the same things you are. When I do pray, I feel as if I get no answer. My wife keeps saying "In God's time". It is difficult for a many to watch so much pass by while waiting for God. I;m going to follow the answers you get today. It will be interesting to see what men say vs women.
Read His Word faithfully.
When you pray after you read His Word don't do all the talking:listen.
His perfect will is something that would be hard to acheive because it consists of living a sinless life.
and then be faithful, If you are saved he promised nothing could ever snatch you out of His hand.
Regards
RB<><
1st Thess. 5: 18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
I don't know of many serious about going on with God in these days who haven't been put through such long dark nights of the soul. The current one I'm in is several years long and not over yet.
Certainly He says He will have a tried people. Certainly plenty of refiner's fires are plenty hot. Certainly He knows what He's doing whether it looks or feels like it at the time or not. Certainly He is still with us whether it looks like it or feels like it or not. HE IS ALL TOGETHER GOOD; GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME HE IS GOOD--even when sometimes we are tempted to wonder if He's otherwise at times. As Job said, yea though He slay me, yet will I serve Him. And as Peter said--to whom could we go?
There are several good books on the topic. Nothing new to suggest beyond what's been suggested. JESUS SAID, MY SHEEP KNOW MY VOICE. Discerning His still small voice from the enemy's and our own thoughts is a seemingly long term project. FOLLOW AFTER PEACE--go with what brings peace to our soul, spirit, heart. It requires that we have some quiet times conducive to hearing such subtleties many times.
Other comments: It's probably hard to find neighborhoods full of decent people these days. Public schools are a zoo everywhere. Many jobs are full of troublesome people.
GOD SEEMS TO BE WORKING OUT SEVERAL THINGS WITH SUCH EXPERIENCES. 1) Toughening us for the times ahead. 2) WORKING OUT IN US AN US MORE CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF HIS SON. 3) Preparing for us a GREATER WEIGHT OF GLORY in eternity ruling and reigning with Christ than we'd otherwise have been able to bear.
BARBARA JOHNSON has some wonderful books that can be a comfort in such times. She went through many wringers before dying of cancer.
I certainly know something of how you feel. Job did, too.
Sometimes, there don't seem to be any answers or even anyone with a clue about finding answers. Somehow, God is still there. Somehow, the trying of our faith is crucial.
Certainly there are times when one wants to wring the neck of the next person with a string of spiritual platitudes--especially those without a shred of evidence, purification or attitude that would indicate they'd been through the slightest long dark night of the soul. And, some of them need their necks wrung for their own edification and growth.
Certainly there's crucial merit in the standard spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting, Bible, waiting on God; prayer journaling; private worship etc. But there are no formulas and all the more so when God decides it's fiery furnace time.
There are some good docs on the net but I don't have any links handy. I'd suggest 2-3 of the better suggested books. But mostly, I suggest dogged putting one foot in front of the other; FOLLOWING AFTER PEACE IN YOUR HEART AND SPIRIT--and toughening it out with The Lord regardless.
Job is an important book in the Bible whether it's comforting or logical or whatever or not. Thankfully, Psalms comes after it. And David felt like we have felt.
Resisting the lies of satan in the midst of such times is important regardless of the struggle to do so.
Slogging on ahead regardless--by His Grace and mercy--is important.
Certainly one can pray for relief and confirmation etc. But sometimes it seems like God presses us to our very nth limit; then stretches us to extend our limits and then presses us to the new extended nth degree of our limits etc. etc. etc. until there doesn't seem to be any stretch left--all without seemingly much confirmation.
And, though it SOMETIMES SEEMS OTHERWISE, He really did mean it when He promised us He'd never put on us more than we could, by His Grace, bear.
And, usually, somewhere in the midst of the fires, will be the bird Corrie ten Boom saw crossing the concentration camp courtyard; the bananas the woman in the Japanese prison camp was delivered miraculously; the nudge in our spirit or the night that says God IS still there. Sometimes we just have to hang on to such brief confirmations as best we can until God sees fit to turn off the fiery furnace and give us His rest.
I don't yet understand all I'd like to about learning to Rest in His Rest as we are pressed on every side. But there's some possibility there. TRANSFORMATION OF THE INNER MAN by John and Paula Sanford is a good one I'm still in the midst of on such scores.
I certainly know that STRIVING IN THE FLESH is unfruitful and one of the things God is trying to burn out/weed out of all those who truly Love Him in this era.
And sometimes "Let go and let God" seems like a cruel exhortation when we haven't seemed able to hardly breathe or even put one foot in front of the other for soooooo long and haven't a clue about how better to LET GO AND LET GOD. But, somehow, there's still more for at least me to learn about that.
Anyway--God's best to you and yours as you grow in Him. HIS PERSPECTIVE IS ETERNITY. When He declares that the GLORIES OF ETERNITY ARE NOT WORTHY TO BE COMPARED to the sufferings of now. He's keenly determined to conform us to the image of His Son. And, somehow, the price is worth it though it means we lose our lives to find them.
Decision Making And The Will Of God : A Biblical Alternative To The Traditional View (Classic Critical Concern) by Garry Friesen, J. Robin Maxson
Discovering God's Will by Sinclair Ferguson
I do know how you feel, and I have been there before. I thought many times, 'if God would just let me know exactly what He wants me to do, then I would do it'. It took awhile but I finally figured out "God who in sundry times and divers manners spoke unto us by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son". There is no mention there of any other way God "speaks to us", and I am very leery of anyone who says "God told me...or God let me know He wanted me to do such and such"
I'm in my 7th decade and looking back I can pick out those times and places where I was directed to go. At the time they were not the greatest things that could happen to me but I now know the responsiblity I have on my heart for many other people to get to heaven.
Pray that God gives you the strength to discern and make sure you pray to the Holy Spirit for direction and fortitude.
Then again, maybe I do have a suggestion -- something I've had to learn on my own. Take a look back at what you thought you were getting into, and what actually happened. Is there anything that you could have done differently? Can you recall anthing that made you uneasy, that later turned out to happen? In other words, do you find yourself "hoping for the best" about a situation that you were never comfortable about in the first place?
I always list this as one of the most significant books I've ever read. (Another is J. Gresham Machen's What Is Faith?)
I've preached around this neighborhood countless times. Indeed, a terrifically important book.
Dan
Biblical Christianity web site
As mentioned above numerous times, the holy scriptures are our primary source for discerning God's will. The scriptures are rich with advice and recommendations for all areas of living. Prayerful meditation is good but even better would be to seek counsel from believers you highly respect or other christians with greater experience. You must humble yourself before the Lord and your Christian brothers and recognize that what you do is for His glory, not your own.
Even though you attempt to follow all the best advice and the Holy Scriptures, your sin and the sin of this world will prevent you from continual happiness while on this earth. God does not promise hapiness. On the contrary, Christ promises persecution to those who follow him (John 15:20). Be careful though - just because you suffer on this earth does not mean it is in Christ's name. Also, any sinful and selfish decisions you make may cause suffering for you and those you love but keep in mind that if you are adopted by God, this is his promise:
Romans 8:31b,32
If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
I had a chance to talk to Gary on the phone a couple of times. He told me it took 8 years to right that book. It was so different from what has been traditionally taught...he had to check it out over and over again. In the end, it is so Biblically solid, I recommend it constantly, without hesitation!
I think discerning what course of action to take in a significant situation can be a tricky thing for anyone. I use a combination of approaches (not necessarily in this order):
- Common sense.
- Reflection on where I feel called.
- The study of on-point Scripture.
- Prayer for guidance.
- Seeking the counsel of mature Christians I trust.
I find these often align given a bit of time.
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