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Why do Catholics leave, and what can be done about it?
cna ^ | April 19, 2012 | Father Robert Barron

Posted on 04/19/2012 11:58:25 AM PDT by NYer

I saw an advance copy of a survey by William J. Byron and Charles Zech, which will appear in the April 30th edition of “America” magazine. 

It was conducted at the request of David O’Connell, the bishop of Trenton, and its focus was very simple:  it endeavored to discover why Catholics have left the church.  No one denies that a rather substantive number of Catholics have taken their leave during the past 20 years, and Byron and Zech wanted to find out why.  They did so in the most direct way possible and asked those who had quit.

The answers they got were, in many ways, predictable.  Lots of people cited the church’s teachings on divorce and re-marriage, gay marriage, contraception, and the ordination of women.  These matters, of course, have been exhaustively discussed in the years following Vatican II, and I’d be willing to bet that anyone, even those vaguely connected to the Church, could rehearse the arguments on both sides of those issues.  But there just isn’t a lot that the church can do about them.  No bishop or pastor could make a policy adjustment and announce that divorced and re-married people can receive communion or that a gay couple can come to the altar to be married or a woman present herself for ordination.

What struck me about the survey, however, was that many of the issues that led people to leave the church are indeed matters that can be addressed.  Many of the respondents commented that they left because of “bad customer relations.”  One woman said that she felt “undervalued by the church” and found “no mentors.”  Many more said that their pastors were “arrogant, distant, aloof, and insensitive,” and still others said that their experiences over the phone with parish staffers were distinctly negative.  Now I fully understand that parish priests and lay ministers are on the front lines and hence are the ones who often have to say “no” when a parishioner asks for something that just can’t be granted.  Sometimes the recipient of that “no” can all too facilely accuse the one who says it as arrogant or indifferent.  Nevertheless, the survey can and should be a wake-up call to church leaders—both clerical and non-clerical—that simple kindness, compassion, and attention go a rather long way.  I distinctly remember the advice that my first pastor—a wonderful and pastorally skillful priest—gave to the parish secretary:  “for many people, you are the first contact they have with the Catholic Church; you exercise, therefore, an indispensable ministry.”  One respondent to the survey observed that whenever he asked a priest about a controversial issue, he “got rules, and not an invitation to sit down and talk.”  Unfair?  Perhaps.  But every priest, even when ultimately he has to say “no,” can do so in the context of a relationship predicated upon love and respect.

A second major concern that can and should be addressed is that of bad preaching.  Again and again, people said that they left the church because homilies were “boring, irrelevant, poorly prepared,” or “delivered in an impenetrable accent.”  Again, speaking as someone who is called upon to give sermons all the time, I realize how terribly difficult it is to preach, how it involves skill in public speaking, attention to the culture, expertise in biblical interpretation, and sensitivity to the needs and interests of an incredibly diverse audience.  That said, homilists can make a great leap forward by being attentive to one fact:  sermons become boring in the measure that they don’t propose something like answers to real questions.   All of the biblical exegesis and oratorical skill in the world will be met with a massive “so what?” if the preacher has not endeavored to correlate the “answers” he provides with the “questions” that beguile the hearts of the people to whom he speaks.  Practically every Gospel involves an encounter between Jesus and a person—Peter, Mary Magdalene, Nicodemus, Zacchaeus, etc.—who is questioning, wondering, suffering, or seeking.  An interesting homily identifies that longing and demonstrates, concretely, how Jesus fulfills it.  When the homily both reminds people how thirsty they are and provides water to quench the thirst, people will listen.

A third eminently correctable problem is one that I will admit I had never thought about before reading this survey.  Many of the respondents commented that, after they left the church, no one from the parish contacted them or reached out to them in any way.  Now again, I can anticipate and fully understand the objections from pastoral people:  many Catholic parishes are huge—upwards of three or four thousand families—and staffs are small.  Yet, just as major corporations, serving millions of people, attend carefully to lost customers, so Catholic parishes should prioritize an outreach to those who have drifted (or stormed) away.  A phone call, a note, an e-mail, a pastoral visit—anything that would say, “We’ve noticed you’re not coming to Mass anymore.  Can we help?  Can you tell us what, if anything, we’ve done wrong?  We’d love to see you back with us.”

The problem of Catholics leaving the church is, obviously, serious and complex, and anyone who would suggest an easy solution is naïve.  However, having listened to a representative sample of those who have left, parishes, priests, and church administrators might take some relatively simple and direct steps that would go a long way toward ameliorating the situation.
 


TOPICS: Apologetics; Catholic; Ministry/Outreach; Religion & Culture
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To: metmom
"It’s either/or, it can’t be both."

Where in Scripture does it say that?

281 posted on 04/21/2012 7:03:48 PM PDT by Natural Law (The Pearly Gates are really a servants entrance.)
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To: presently no screen name
"No one can teach an unteachable spirit and there is nothing to consider."

Why would you call yourself unteachable? If I thought that I would simply pray for you rather than continue to discuss.

282 posted on 04/21/2012 7:10:23 PM PDT by Natural Law (The Pearly Gates are really a servants entrance.)
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To: Natural Law; presently no screen name
Why would you call yourself unteachable? If I thought that I would simply pray for you rather than continue to discuss.

Ditto.

283 posted on 04/21/2012 7:13:01 PM PDT by MarkBsnr (I would not believe in the Gospel, if the authority of the Catholic Church did not move me to do so.)
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To: metmom
Dear Sister- Nowhere I am considering you unloving or unChristlike. I am overexgerating to get to a point that's all. You know like a certain man who declared parables.

Do not confuse me with others I have more respect for you then you proably know.

The Lord sees the inside better than us that's for sure. I do not judge. I know you care. We can have different views on Christ as long as we can declare 1John 4 we declare The Holy Spirit within us.

I trust in Jesus to overcome this world for me. But where we differ is this process. You declare you see it now in a special way. I certainly do not see that confession is wrong in my belief of Christ. I am not talking catholic either just any confession. I see 1john1 . When John puts down do not be deceived in this writing. I see an alarm going off as a warning in this writing.

Freeper Cheers!

284 posted on 04/21/2012 7:24:27 PM PDT by johngrace (I am a 1 John 4! Christian- declared at every Sunday Mass , Divine Mercy and Rosary prayers!)
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To: metmom
I love all the present, perfect tense verbs in the verses you referenced - we have. Some try to quibble with assurance passages by saying it says "might"; "may", "shall", and, by that, implying that this is something that God wants to keep us in the dark about (kinda like "Keep 'em guessing so they stick to it.") Yet in so many places He states unequivocally that we can right now have eternal life. The "if" part is by faith, of course, through faith is what grace uses to grant it. God says that without faith it is impossible to please Him, so that is the part we demonstrate and it is NOT a work but an ascent, an acceptance of what His grace gives. I am constantly amazed at how difficult some people try to make it. I think it goes back to my previous comment, that some just cannot humble themselves before God to admit they bring NOTHING by which to merit Heaven. And we know that without this, we cannot be saved. We surrender ALL to Him, ALL to Him we freely give.
285 posted on 04/21/2012 7:25:20 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: MarkBsnr; smvoice; bkaycee; metmom; RnMomof7
Perhaps we may return to the point of the thread which is that people leave Catholicism because of personal reasons and people join the Faith because of theological ones. Or, shall we rejoin the conversation as has been demonstrated and preached by some that we must reject the Gospels and the acts of the Twelve. It is to Paul in whom lies our salvation, they say. Well? Does Paul contain the formula for salvation in your estimation? Shall we consign Jesus and the 12 to the dustbin of history?

Yes, let's return to the subject at hand. I disagree, of course, with your premise that those who leave Catholicism do so for "personal reasons" - since I left purely for theological ones as have most of those here who have testified of leaving. My "Protestant" Dad joined Catholicism so that he and my Mom could marry in the church (her Mom's insistence, though they had already married at a JOP). When they divorced some fifteen years later, he went back to the Baptist Church. Later on, he started going back to the Catholic Church, but NOT for "theological" reasons, but because he said he liked how all the priests he met on the golf course drank and told dirty jokes back at the bar.

As to your insistence on continuing to misstate Smvoice's comments, all I can say is NO ONE has said anything about "rejecting the Gospels and the acts of the Twelve. It is to Paul in whom lies our salvation". If, after all these many times, you STILL do not get that, I would suggest that you refrain from trying to engage in further dialog until you have done some more reading about the subject. I can suggest a few links for you that can help you to sound less uneducated about the topic. Let me know.

286 posted on 04/21/2012 7:40:43 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: Iscool; MarkBsnr

Discuss the issues all you want, but do not make it personal.


287 posted on 04/21/2012 7:55:27 PM PDT by Religion Moderator
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To: boatbums

My Church in MA consists of 80% former RC’s and all have left for theological reasons.


288 posted on 04/21/2012 8:13:05 PM PDT by bkaycee
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To: MarkBsnr
"Paul was a functionary of the Church- a loud and mouthy and pushy Herb Tarlek. With a loud plaid coat and wide tie and a blinding white grin.".

Let this be your last description of the Apostle Paul that resonates through your posts about how much the Catholic Church respects Paul. That he was a great apostle.

"In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel." Rom. 2:16.

And let that be the day that you realize this truth.

289 posted on 04/21/2012 8:14:03 PM PDT by smvoice (Better Buck up, Buttercup. The wailing and gnashing are for an eternity..)
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To: Natural Law; metmom
"It’s either/or, it can’t be both."

Where in Scripture does it say that?

Allow me:

Romans 11:6
And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.

290 posted on 04/21/2012 8:20:13 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: bkaycee
My Church in MA consists of 80% former RC’s and all have left for theological reasons.

I'll bet if you did a survey and asked how many thought of themselves as "failed Catholics"...oh, wait, that's only what the "successful" Catholics call those who dare to leave. I'd venture that your fellow church members would laugh at that label, too.

291 posted on 04/21/2012 8:45:20 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: bkaycee
For your enlightenment......even the other denominations have the commandment to keep the Lord's day holy. So why don't you go to church every week?

Lists Every Catholic Should be Familiar With: The 10 Commandments
The Catholic Church Changed The Ten Commandments? [Ecumenical]

The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Christian Morality
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, The Ten Commandments
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, First Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Second Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Third Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Fourth Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Fifth Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Sixth and Ninth Commandments
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Seventh and Tenth Commandments
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith; Part Three: The Will of God, Eighth Commandment

Catechism of Aquinas |SUMMARY OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS| THE OUR FATHER & FIVE QUALITIES OF PRAYER
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 34: The First Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 35: The Second Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 36: The Third Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 37: The Fourth Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 38: The Fifth Commandment (w / special prayer request)
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 39: The Sixth and Ninth Commandments
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 40: The Seventh and Tenth Commandments
A Brief Catechism for Adulst - Lesson 41: The Eighth Commandment

292 posted on 04/21/2012 8:52:13 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: smvoice
"Let this be your last description of the Apostle Paul that resonates through your posts about how much the Catholic Church respects Paul."

The Apostle Paul was a celibate Catholic priest. It was the Catholic Church that canonized him and venerates him as the patron saint of authors.

293 posted on 04/21/2012 8:57:45 PM PDT by Natural Law (The Pearly Gates are really a servants entrance.)
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To: bkaycee
I guess you don't believe the Bible either???

April 22, 2012

 

Third Sunday of Easter

 

Reading 1 Acts 3:13-15, 17-19

Peter said to the people:
"The God of Abraham,
the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob,
the God of our fathers, has glorified his servant Jesus,
whom you handed over and denied in Pilate's presence
when he had decided to release him.
You denied the Holy and Righteous One
and asked that a murderer be released to you.
The author of life you put to death,
but God raised him from the dead; of this we are witnesses.
Now I know, brothers,
that you acted out of ignorance, just as your leaders did;
but God has thus brought to fulfillment
what he had announced beforehand
through the mouth of all the prophets,
that his Christ would suffer.
Repent, therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be wiped away."

Responsorial Psalm Ps 4:2, 4, 7-8, 9

R. (7a) Lord, let your face shine on us.
or:
R.  Alleluia.
When I call, answer me, O my just God,
you who relieve me when I am in distress;
have pity on me, and hear my prayer!
R. Lord, let your face shine on us.
or:
R.  Alleluia.
Know that the LORD does wonders for his faithful one;
the LORD will hear me when I call upon him.
R. Lord, let your face shine on us.
or:
R.  Alleluia.
O LORD, let the light of your countenance shine upon us!
You put gladness into my heart.
R. Lord, let your face shine on us.
or:
R.  Alleluia.
As soon as I lie down, I fall peacefully asleep,
for you alone, O LORD,
bring security to my dwelling.
R. Lord, let your face shine on us.
or:
R.  Alleluia.

Reading 2 1 Jn 2:1-5a

My children, I am writing this to you
so that you may not commit sin.
But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate with the Father,
Jesus Christ the righteous one.
He is expiation for our sins,
and not for our sins only but for those of the whole world.
The way we may be sure that we know him is to keep
his commandments.
Those who say, "I know him," but do not keep his commandments
are liars, and the truth is not in them.
But whoever keeps his word,
the love of God is truly perfected in him.

Gospel Lk 24:35-48

The two disciples recounted what had taken place on the way,
and how Jesus was made known to them
in the breaking of bread.

While they were still speaking about this,
he stood in their midst and said to them,
"Peace be with you."
But they were startled and terrified
and thought that they were seeing a ghost.
Then he said to them, "Why are you troubled?
And why do questions arise in your hearts?
Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.
Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones
as you can see I have."
And as he said this,
he showed them his hands and his feet.
While they were still incredulous for joy and were amazed,
he asked them, "Have you anything here to eat?"
They gave him a piece of baked fish;
he took it and ate it in front of them.

He said to them,
"These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you,
that everything written about me in the law of Moses
and in the prophets and psalms must be fulfilled."
Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.
And he said to them,
"Thus it is written that the Christ would suffer
and rise from the dead on the third day
and that repentance, for the forgiveness of sins,
would be preached in his name
to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.
You are witnesses of these things."

294 posted on 04/21/2012 9:09:48 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: boatbums; metmom
"Allow me:"

The premise posed by Metmom was that Salvation was based upon either faith or by works. Grace, as the subject of Romans 11:6, was not a part of that discussion. I would suggest you read James 2, especially versus 14 through 26 where a better discussion of the relationship between Faith, works and grace is discussed.

Then reflect on the meaning of I Corinthians 13:2:

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

295 posted on 04/21/2012 9:14:14 PM PDT by Natural Law (The Pearly Gates are really a servants entrance.)
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To: Natural Law; metmom
The premise posed by Metmom was that Salvation was based upon either faith or by works. Grace, as the subject of Romans 11:6, was not a part of that discussion. I would suggest you read James 2, especially versus 14 through 26 where a better discussion of the relationship between Faith, works and grace is discussed.

Then reflect on the meaning of I Corinthians 13:2:

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

Yes, Sister Katherine Marie. :o)

First of all, speaking the truth CAN be done with love, gentleness, patience and respect. It is ALWAYS my intent. That another interprets correction or disagreement over doctrine as "anger, malice or hate", when the comment is not a personal attack, is not something that can be controlled and has to fall back on the one who feels his ox is being gored, to coin a phrase.

The issue of grace vs. works most certainly DOES pertain to the faith vs. works argument. The very meaning of the term "grace" implies:

    "a favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence"

    "Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people"

    "the state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God"

    "an excellence or power granted by God"

There is a special and specific reason why God chose the word. By it's very definition and use in Holy Scripture, it implies unmerited favor. Thus, when salvation is said to be by grace through faith and not of works, it is plainly understood to mean man does not work for the gift. The use of the word "gift" also relays that sense. The passage, Ephesians 2:8,9 says:

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast"

    The very foundational truth of scripture pertaining to justification is that God has provided a single way for mankind to be forgiven of the sin that separates from Him, and that way is through faith in Him through Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches through imperative and example that there is no type of work that can, in and of itself, overcome this separation. (http://www.biblicaltheology.com/Research/CarterJ01.html

There are many other verses throughout both the Old and New Testaments that speak of God's grace. This grace is balanced with his holiness and justice. His holiness demands perfect righteousness to be in his presence. His justice demands a satisfactory payment for sin. His love was what makes eternal salvation a free gift - another word used in Scripture. A free gift means exactly that - nothing is done to buy it or earn it but it is given freely. God says this gift is given to all who accept it by faith. In Romans 6:23, Paul says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Let me make sure you do not misunderstand my point here, I do not believe that a Christian should, or can really, just accept the gift and then continue on in his sinful life as if nothing changed. Jesus said quite clearly that he is the vine and we are the branches. We bear "fruit" by our position in Christ and this fruit IS good works - love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal. 5:22) So, though we are NOT saved because of our works but by God's grace through faith, we are STILL created unto good works which God has prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10). A genuine, born again believer in Christ WILL demonstrate their faith BY their works - but it is NOT their works that save them. It is a GIFT given by grace through faith.

296 posted on 04/21/2012 10:08:46 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: boatbums
"I am not concerned with how you treat me, I continue to pray for your conversion and Salvation regardless."

This is what they call a breakthrough moment. In comparison to this shared truth our other doctrinal differences are really quite insignificant. One by one, we are accomplishing that agate ring of His Church.

God bless you and good night.

297 posted on 04/21/2012 10:31:12 PM PDT by Natural Law (The Pearly Gates are really a servants entrance.)
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To: Natural Law
"I am not concerned with how you treat me, I continue to pray for your conversion and Salvation regardless."

This is what they call a breakthrough moment. In comparison to this shared truth our other doctrinal differences are really quite insignificant. One by one, we are accomplishing that agate ring of His Church.

God bless you and good night.

I agree that should be our attitudes as we discuss things with eternal significance. I did not make the quoted statement, so I'm not sure if that is your "breakthrough moment" connected to me. I do not, however, see our "doctrinal differences" as insignificant as the issue of salvation by grace through faith vs. works is a paramount distinction. I DO pray for all those I communicate with here, so I will certainly continue to do so. Good night and God bless you, too.

298 posted on 04/21/2012 10:42:34 PM PDT by boatbums (God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)
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To: MarkBsnr; smvoice
>> Posting error ad nauseam does not correct that error.<<

Oh now that’s a hoot. A Catholic trying to explain how others are using the Bible wrong. I’m sure that right after the tell us how we interpret the Bible wrong they will explain how the Bible contains the story of the bodily assumption of Mary or that she was installed as queen of heaven.

299 posted on 04/22/2012 6:33:20 AM PDT by CynicalBear
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To: boatbums
"I do not, however, see our "doctrinal differences" as insignificant as the issue of salvation by grace through faith vs. works is a paramount distinction."

If we truly live the two Greatest Commandments the "doctrinal issues" will take care of themselves.

300 posted on 04/22/2012 6:49:15 AM PDT by Natural Law (The Pearly Gates are really a servants entrance.)
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