THE TOP TEN MOST SURPRISING 'MORMON TEACHINGS' ABOUT MORMON HEAVEN and AFTER-LIFE [Vanity]

Colofornian | July 4, 2012 | Colofornian

[Elsie]

...and Jesus' eyewitness testimony needs to be sifted thru as any juror would sift thru similar testimony in a court trial.

I've noticed that many potential jurors really complain badly about the large amount of EVIDENCE being shown in these threads.

"I don't read Cut & Pastes", they announce; and then go on to render a verdict!

[Elsie]

[Notary Sojac]

I'm happy abide by the rules of a forum where the point is to have an exchange of views.

I compose and post a message giving my views, then others read that post and compose their replies, then I respond, until the subject has been thoroughly kicked around.

And I've tried to do that on some of the LDS threads.

But when the response I get amounts to the verbatim reposting of a lengthy canned tract that I and others have seen a hundred times before, then I think it's those responders that are not keeping to the intent of what a "forum" is.

BTW, I am not Mormon, and personally I think old Joe made it all up. But I don't take the existence of Mormonism as a personal affront.

[svcw]

Ok, thanks.
I find that mommonISM is affront to God Almighty, and beleive God when He says to call out false teachings and prophets, which is what exposure of mormonISM does, it calls the teachings out and exposes Joseph Smith (and the rest of the lds leaders) out.

[Elsie]

But when the response I get amounts to the verbatim reposting of a lengthy canned tract that I and others have seen a hundred times before, then I think it's those responders that are not keeping to the intent of what a "forum" is.

Apparently it isn't the folks who don't know what a FORUM is; but those who don't like certain VIEWS.

It mattereth NOT how many times YOU or OTHERS have 'seen' the voluminous outpourings from official MORMON sources; but how those who have NEVER seen the things that MORMONism contains.

THEY are the ones who WILL appreciate all of the hard work that has gone into ferreting out the things that SLC wishes would remain hidden until the slimy grasp of deception has solidified around the soul of the unsuspecting.

[Elsie]

But I don't take the existence of Mormonism as a personal affront.

I'm a 'professor'. (reply #28)

I do!

[BlueMoose]

The object is to hit and run.....

[SoConPubbie]

The object is to hit and run.....

That is a hilariously gross mischaracterization of what occurs on Religion Forum posts concerning Mormonism.

The Religion Forum posts about the cult that is Mormonism have the most reliably response ratio of any threads.

They don't "hit and run".

They do respond to your posts with relevant, insightful, and historical evidence proving their points.

[Elsie]

The object is to hit and run.....

It appears that he has...

[Elsie]

The object is to hit and run.....

No, no, NO!!

You'll NEVER make it as a MISSIONARY!

The object is to Bait & Switch!!!

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It goes like this...

The BAIT: When you've finally got a sucker to listen to your spiel, you give 'em a BoM and then ask them to read it and then PRAY about it to see if it's true. (Since it's crammed FULL of KJV bible text; what ELSE could it be?)

The SWITCH: If they come back with a YES answer; it'll be a LONG time before they find how that hardly ANY 'doctrine' of the LDS religious organization actually can be found in the BoM; but in OTHER writings that they do NOT ask the sap to 'pray about'.

[BlueMoose]

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/ted-haggards-crystal-cathedral/Content?oid=100742

“Haggard isn’t New Life’s only box of birds.”

[BlueMoose]

2. The big, gay theater in the round. You’ve probably seen the outside of New Life Church on the news. It’s a testament to megalomania of Wal-Martian proportions. Jutting from the plains north of Colorado Springs just a few miles east of the U.S. Air Force Academy, it’s the only megachurch in Colorado Springs and cost $17 million to build. (What’s $17 million when you’re tithing 14,000 people at 10 percent of their income? That’s a cool $42 million per year if you figure the average person makes $30,000.) The exterior may be plain, but on the inside it’s a big, gay theater in the round!

[Elsie]

The big, gay theater in the round. You’ve probably seen the outside of New Life Church on the news. It’s a testament to megalomania of Wal-Martian proportions.

 

Fantasy Land indeed!          

Orlando 1971	San Deigo 1988

 

[Notary Sojac]

They do respond to your posts with relevant, insightful, and historical evidence proving their points.

Yes, and if they don't think they've proved their point they copy their post and repost it again

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[Utah Binger]

And in other news the libs have taken over Huntsville,Utah where they are sickened, just sickened at the dis Obama in their parade. LOL

http://www.standard.net/stories/2012/07/05/some-sickened-anti-obama-float-huntsvilles-fourth-july-parade

[greyfoxx39]

when the response I get amounts to the verbatim reposting of a lengthy canned tract that I and others have seen a hundred times before, then I think it's those responders that are not keeping to the intent of what a "forum" is.

It may have escaped your notice, but the information posted on these threads is not necessarily geared to reaching those of you that have seen it "a hundred times before". There are ALWAYS new FReepers and lurkers on these threads, that given the Romney candidacy are interested in learning about mormonism. We see new names posting on these threads daily. Your definition of the term "forum" seems to fit that of those who would wield the sword of censorship quite broadly.

So, good advice would be to you that if you are offended by the methods used on these threads just either scroll past the information you have seen before or avoid entering a thread that refers to mormonism. It appears that you have learned all you care to learn about the sect.

[Elsie]

Some MORMONs have trouble seeing it the first time.

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The Rules

1. Learn and obey all missionary rules.
2. Keep your thoughts, words, and actions in harmony with the gospel message.
3. Read only books, magazines, and other material authorized by the Church.
4. Don't debate or argue.
5. Center your mind on your mission.
6. Dress conservatively. Elders: white shirts, conservative ties, and business suits. Sisters: conservative colors and skirts that cover your knees. No floor-length skirts or dresses.
7. Cut your hair regularly.
8. Keep your hair clean and neatly combed at all times in the approved style.
9. Be neat and clean.
10. Bathe frequently.
11. Use deodorant.
12. Polish your shoes.
13. Iron your shirt and business suit.
14. Arise at 6:30 A.M.
15. Study for 2 hours every morning.
16. Proselytize for 10 hours between 9:30 A.M. and 9:30 P.M.
17. Turn off your lights at 10:30 P.M.
18. Exercise regularly.
19. Write in your journal regularly.
20. Follow the "Missionary Gospel Study Program" (31157) for your personal study.
21. Regularly study the Missionary Guide and the Discussions.
22. Attend Sunday priesthood or Relief Society meetings, Sunday School, and sacrament meeting.
23. Attend the general session of Stake Conference.
24. Attend general conference broadcasts if available.
25. Avoid all other church meetings unless you have a special assignment or are brining an investigator.
26. Proselytize as much as possible on weekends and holidays because this is when you'll find people home.
27. End your preparation day at 6:00 P.M. and proselytize from 6:00 P.M. to 9:30 P.M.
28. Wear your missionary uniform in public on preparation day while not engaged in recreational activities.
29. Arise at 6:30 on preparation day and study for 2 hours from the approved books.
30. Take care of your physical preparation for the week on preparation day: wash your clothes, clean your apartment, wash your car, get your haircut, and shop for groceries.
31. Write to your parents every week on preparation day.
32. Write less frequently to your siblings, friends, and acquaintances.
33. Don't communicate with any friends or acquaintances that are within or close to your mission boundaries, except as a part of official mission business.
34. Plan safe, wholesome, and uplifting activities for preparation day.
35. Stay with your companion during all activities.
36. Do not go on road trips.
37. Do not leave your assigned area without permission
38. Do not watch television.
39. Do not view unauthorized videocassettes.
40. Do not listen to the radio.
41. Do not listen to unauthorized audiocassettes or CD’s.
42. Do not participate in musical groups.
43. Do not participate in athletic teams.
44. Do not sponsor athletic teams.
45. Do not engage in contact sports.
46. Do not engage in water sports.
47. Do not engage in winter sports.
48. Do not engage in motorcycling.
49. Do not engage in horseback riding.
50. Do not engage in mountain climbing.
51. Do not embark on a private boat.
52. Do not embark in a private airplane.
53. Do not handle firearms.
54. Do not handle explosives.
55. Do not swim.
56. Do not play full court basketball.
57. Do not play basketball in leagues.
58. Do not play basketball in tournaments.
59. You may play half-court basketball.
60. Never be alone.
61. Seek advice from your mission president if your companion is "having difficulties".
62. Be loyal to your companion.
63. Ask your mission president for help if your companion doesn’t obey the rules.
64. Pray with your companion every day.
65. Study with your companion every day.
66. Plan your work with your companion every day.
67. Take time at least once a week for companionship inventory.
68. Seek to be one in spirit and purpose and help each other succeed.
69. Always address your companion as Elder or Sister.
70. Sleep in the same bedroom as your companion.
71. Do not sleep in the same bed as your companion.
72. Do not arise before your companion.
73. Do not retire after your companion. (apparently, being together is more important than getting the correct amount of sleep that your unique body requires.)
74. Frequently study with your companion the Missionary Guide section on companions.
75. Never be alone with anyone of the opposite sex.
76. Never associate inappropriately with anyone of the opposite sex (conversely, they don't mention whether or not it is against the rules to associate inappropriately with anyone of the same sex).
77. Do not flirt.
78. Do not date.
79. Do not communicate via phone or letter with anyone of the opposite sex living within or near mission boundaries.
80. Do not visit a single or divorced person of the opposite sex unless accompanied by a couple or another adult member of your sex.
81. Try to teach single investigators in a member’s home or have missionaries of the same sex teach them.
82. Always follow the above rules, even if the situation seems harmless.
83. Use the commitment pattern to get referrals from members.
84. Keep your dinner visits with member briefs and during the customary dinner hour in the area.
85. Remember to say thank you to those who feed you.
86. Visit members and nonmembers only at appropriate times.
87. Do not counsel or give medical treatment.
88. Do not stay in the homes of people when they are on vacation.
89. Only write letters to family members and friends at home.
90. Do not telephone parents
91. Do not telephone relatives.
92. Do not telephone friends.
93. Do not telephone girlfriends.
94. Contact your mission president in case of an emergency.
95. Take problems and questions to your mission president.
96. Do not write to the President of the Church or to other General Authorities. Letters from missionaries to General Authorities are referred back to the mission president
97. Respect the customs, traditions, and property of the people who you are trying to convert.
98. Obey all mission rules.
99. Obey the laws of the land.
100. Do not get involved in politics.
101. Do not get involved in commercial activities.
102. Do not give any information about the area.
103. Respect the customs and cultures of those who you are trying to convert to your own customs and culture.
104. Respect the beliefs, practices, and sites of other religions.
105. Do not say or write anything bad about the political and cultural circumstances where you serve.
106. Do not become involved in adoption proceedings.
107. Do not suggest or encourage emigration. (This rule is a bit ironic, given the now-defunct doctrine of gathering the believers to Zion)
108. Be courteous.
109. Provide community service.
110. Do not provide community service that isn’t approved by your mission president.
111. Do not provide more than 4 hours a week of community service.
112. Do not provide community service during the evening, weekend or holidays—those are peek proselytizing times.
113. Your mission president must approve your housing.
114. Keep your housing unit clean.
115. Do not live with single or divorced people of the opposite sex.
116. Do not live where the spouse is frequently absent.
117. Your living unit must have a private bath and entrance.
118. You may occasionally fast for a special reason, but generally the monthly fast is sufficient.
119. Do not fast longer than 24 hours at a time.
120. Do not ask friends, relatives, and members to join in special fasts for investigators.
121. Maintain your health.
122. Eat a healthy diet.
123. Sleep from 10:30 to 6:30.
124. Follow the approved exercise program.
125. Keep your body, clothes, dishes, linens, towels and housing unit clean.
126. Dispose of your garbage properly and promptly.
127. Follow the safety rules for all of your stuff.
128. Seek medical care if you are in an accident or become sick.
129. Be immunized.
130. Spend your money only on things relating to your mission.
131. Budget your money carefully.
132. Keep a record of what you spend.
133. Do not spend more than your companion.
134. Do not loan money.
135. Do not borrow money.
136. Keep a reserve fund of $50 to $100 at all times for transfers.
137. Pay your bills before leaving an area.
138. Pay cash for all resale literature and supplies ordered from the mission office.
139. Do not waste money on souvenirs.
140. Do not waste money on unnecessary items.
141. Be a frugal photographer.
142. Do not accumulate excess baggage.
143. Obey custom laws and regulations.
144. Pay fast offerings each fast Sunday to the bishop or branch president where you serve.
145. Pay tithing on outside sources of income (i.e. interest) to your home bishop or branch president.
146. Evaluate your funds a few months before the end of your mission. If you have more than you need, ask that less be sent so that you can return home without excess money.
147. Do not drive without a license.
148. Drive only Church-owned vehicles.
149. Do not drive members’ cars.
150. Do not drive nonmembers’ cars.
151. Do not give rides to members or investigators in Church-owned cars.
152. Use cars only on approved mission business.
153. Use cars only within the assigned geographical area.
154. Be conscious of safety at all times.
155. Drive defensively.
156. Wear your seat belt.
157. Pray for the Lord’s protection while driving.
158. If your companion is driving, assist him or her.
159. Do not tamper with the vehicle’s odometer.
160. Know bicycle safety rules.
161. Use extreme caution on your bicycle.
162. Do not ride your bicycle after dark.
163. Do not ride your bicycle in heavy traffic.
164. Do not ride your bicycle in adverse weather conditions.
165. Go directly to your new area when transferred.
166. Find your new companion without delay when transferred.
167. Have a maximum of two suitcases and a briefcase.

[Elsie]

No one knows who sponsored the parade entry. Huntsville doesn’t require entry forms for its annual parade.

HMMmm...

[Elsie]

“All we can do is apologize,” he said. “I think if the town council had known it was going to be in the parade, it wouldn’t have been allowed.”

Yes; we MORMONs WOULD have CENSORED it!

[Elsie]

“This was promoting hate; this was promoting violence against the leader of our country.

Yes; that IS upsetting when discovered!!

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...the presidential campaign of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith in 1844: “Challenging Democrat James Polk and Whig Henry Clay, Smith prophesied that if the U.S. Congress did not accede to his demands that ‘they shall be broken up as a government and God shall damn them.’

Smith viewed capturing the presidency as part of the mission of the church.