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11 of the Best #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
ChurchPOP ^ | 2014 | ChurchPOP

Posted on 10/18/2014 2:12:09 PM PDT by millegan

All of these are from the Things Jesus Never Said Facebook Page.

(Excerpt) Read more at churchpop.com ...


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Humor; Moral Issues; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: jesus; memes; modern; pimpmyblog; relativism
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1 posted on 10/18/2014 2:12:09 PM PDT by millegan
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To: millegan

2 posted on 10/18/2014 2:15:12 PM PDT by re_nortex (DP - that's what I like about Texas)
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To: millegan

#12: “God helps those who help themselves.”


3 posted on 10/18/2014 2:17:34 PM PDT by oprahstheantichrist (The MSM is a demonic stronghold, PLEASE pray accordingly - 2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
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To: millegan

“Obama is a Christian”...NOT.


4 posted on 10/18/2014 2:17:55 PM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (Obama Will Say 'War on Women' But Not 'War on ISIS)
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To: millegan

“Gay is OK.” Not.


5 posted on 10/18/2014 2:19:12 PM PDT by kaehurowing
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To: millegan

Great posting. Thank you. Maybe somebody should send them to Joel Osteen!

Also enjoyed a link to a rendition of The Lord’s Prayer which was on the same page. I wish people would say/sing “Our Father who art in Heaven...”, rather than “...which art in Heaven”.


6 posted on 10/18/2014 2:21:39 PM PDT by Grams A (The Sun will rise in the East in the morning and God is still on his throne.)
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To: millegan

12. If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor.


7 posted on 10/18/2014 2:27:44 PM PDT by Don Corleone ("Oil the gun..eat the cannoli. Take it to the Mattress.")
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To: re_nortex
Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum
(with love for mankind and hatred for sins)
--St Augistine

Obviously we don't have a complete record of everything Jesus said. But what Saint Augistine said here harmonizes easily into what Jesus was recorded to have said. As far as we know, Jesus said something very similar in Aramaic, but it was not considered remarkable or recorded since it is consistent with his teaching. As for the 11 examples in the article, they are contradictions of what was recorded, so its reasonable to assert Jesus did not say them.

8 posted on 10/18/2014 2:30:03 PM PDT by AndyTheBear
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To: millegan

According to polls, most people believe Jesus said: “From each according to his ability; to each according to his needs.”


9 posted on 10/18/2014 2:32:16 PM PDT by Arthur McGowan
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To: Grams A

And the Hail Mary does not say: “...Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for OUR sinners...”


10 posted on 10/18/2014 2:33:22 PM PDT by Arthur McGowan
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To: Arthur McGowan

According to polls, most people are idiots.


11 posted on 10/18/2014 2:33:54 PM PDT by mlo
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

“Islam is a ROP.” NOT


12 posted on 10/18/2014 2:35:39 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: millegan; Elsie; Colofornian

Take that, Zarahemla!

And Moroni!

And Moronihah!

And, well you get the idea, if you believe in the Mormon “Jesus”, who according to Joseph Smith, preached love, got crucified, hopped over to the “Americas” and killed multitudes of unbelievers (and conveniently left not a trace) before hopping back to the holy land to preach love again.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/3-ne/9.1-15?lang=eng#0


13 posted on 10/18/2014 2:39:32 PM PDT by freedomlover
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To: millegan

“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”


14 posted on 10/18/2014 2:50:49 PM PDT by GreenLanternCorps (Hi! I'm the Dread Pirate Roberts! (TM) Ask about franchise opportunities in your area.)
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To: Grams A

I modify my Lord’s Prayer because I cannot stand King James’ ‘English’:

My Father who is in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done....etc. I don’t speak like that so I really don’t want to pray like that.

And another thing; trespass is not in there babes: Forgive my DEBTS as I forgive those who DEBT against me.

And I add my own as well: Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from EGO.....

Thy is so oldschool....


15 posted on 10/18/2014 2:51:01 PM PDT by waterhill (I Shall Remain, in spite of __________.)
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To: Don Corleone

snicker....lol


16 posted on 10/18/2014 3:29:02 PM PDT by bonfire
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To: millegan

Leadsing bible study classes, I have found it MUCH easier to teach what the Bibles says; than to UN-teach what it doesn’t!


17 posted on 10/18/2014 3:34:35 PM PDT by Elsie ( Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Grams A
I wish people would say/sing “Our Father who art in Heaven...”, rather than “...which art in Heaven”.

You mean you think there isn't any witch art in heaven?

In the "original" hymn God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen, there is the following verse:

In Bethlehem, in Jewry,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy...

I knew a choir director once who would direct the verse right up to the phrase "the which His Mother Mary," then stop the choir; they would look at each other and shake their heads, saying, "the witch his mother?"

18 posted on 10/18/2014 4:01:05 PM PDT by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: Arthur McGowan
According to polls, most people believe Jesus said: “From each according to his ability; to each according to his needs.”

That specific phrase was popularized by Karl Marx, but the thought does come from the New Testament:

"And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common. And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all. Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need." (Acts 4:32-35).

19 posted on 10/18/2014 4:21:56 PM PDT by Lurking Libertarian (Non sub homine, sed sub Deo et lege)
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To: AndyTheBear

I do believe when specifically necessary, God gives us the ability to or He loves through us as empty vessels greater than we could even consider because we see the sin so clearly. Hard to explain unless you have had Him reveal to you this kind of love.


20 posted on 10/18/2014 4:39:16 PM PDT by grame (May you know more of the love of God Almighty this day!)
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