May I offer you one word of advice? Your wife will want to talk, and talk, and talk about her sorrow. You will probably feel that you must be the strong, silent one so that you can help your family get through this. GO TO A GRIEF COUNSELOR. Your wife thinks you're silent because you don't understand a mother's grief. You wish she would stop talking about it because it threatens your ability to remain strong. At a grief counselor, you will both learn how the other feels, and how to deal with it. With understanding and prayer, you will be closer than ever before.
I am praying for you and your family.