Free Republic

Throughout the West and here in America a slash-and-burn operation conducted against the Genesis account, particularly its’ literal and historical elements, is justified by the false idea that evolution is empirical science, thus intolerance of special creation is often presented as a ‘science versus religion’ or ‘faith versus reason’ issue. So successful has this war of attrition been that younger generations of Westerners and Americans have been disconnected from both Western history and its’ founding Christian-based worldview, thus like seedlings recently popped up from barren soil are unconcerned that special creation, where the ultimate source of life, consciousness, soul (inner...

A special lecture will be held at the Babylon Jewish Heritage Center this week that will reveal an archive of Iraqi Jews that was found by US Army soldiers in the basements of Saddam Hussein's intelligence building. The one who will tell about the findings is the one who was among the archivists, Dr. Harold Rudd, a consultant to the US Department of Defense who was sent together with the US task force to the basements that were hit by an American bomb. In an interview with Israel National News, Dr. Rudd talks about the rescue operation and the findings...

ATLANTA, GA — Sources in the Fulton County Sheriff's Office today confirmed that former president Donald Trump paid the extra $12 required to get the cool laser background on his mugshot. "You can pick from lasers, a forest scene where you pose against this tree, or a starfield," said the photographer as Trump carefully mulled over his options. "There's the regular kinda dark blue one, too, for no upcharge, but you know, only the poor kids do that." "I think, you know, I have to go with the lasers, Carla," he said. "Lasers are cool, everyone knows that. I'm a...

The Walker Art Center held a pagan ritual geared toward families at the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden last weekend, with a performance called 'Lilit the Empathic Demon.' (Alpha News) — The Walker Art Center held a pagan ritual geared toward families last weekend, with a performance called “Lilit the Empathic Demon.” “Demons have a bad reputation, but maybe we’re just not very good at getting to know them,” an event description reads. The event, which took place at the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden, was part of the Walker’s Free First Saturdays program and featured artist Tamar Ettun who creates “demon traps.” READ:...

CORUSCANT — Controversial former U.S. women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe was not unemployed for long, as the Galactic Empire reportedly recruited the recently retired athlete to train its stormtroopers to shoot. "She's the perfect fit for the job," said General Cassio Tagge of the move. "The Empire has carried on a long tradition of poor marksmanship. It is one of the bedrocks of everything we have built in the galaxy. Bringing Megan Rapinoe on staff to train new troops will ensure that tradition continues. If anyone knows about missing important shots, it's this dude with the funny-colored hair." Imperial leadership...

WASHINGTON, D.C — In a stunning display of determination and perseverance, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor has shown the world that illiteracy is no match for ambition and dreams. Justice Sotomayor has defied the odds and reached the pinnacle of her profession, all without being able to read a single word. "I just hope that my story can be used to inspire other little girls out there who can't read," said Justice Sotomayor with a tear in her eye. "Just because you can't make it through 'Hop On Pop' doesn't mean there's not a place for you on the highest...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an extremely awkward moment, six Supreme Court justices ruled that affirmative action is unconstitutional, completely forgetting that affirmative action hire Ketanji Brown Jackon was sitting right there next to them. "Welp, this is kind of an uncomfortable situation," said Chief Justice John Roberts after turning in his majority opinion. "No hard feelings, ok, Ketanji? We're still invited to the cookout at your place this weekend, right?"Roberts then slunk away with an embarrassed look on his face."Today is a sad day for anyone who was hired strictly based on their race, gender, and sexual orientation rather...

LAFAYETTE, IN — A local 10-year-old boy has died tragically of severe trauma due to his mother taking away his Nintendo Switch for a few days. According to sources, 10-year-old Camden Connor passed away shortly after his mother told him: "Camden, I've had it with your bad attitude today. Give me the Switch and go outside and play!" "I have never seen such abuse," said one paramedic who arrived on the scene. "To force an innocent 10-year-old boy to be parted from Super Mario Odyssey, or The Legand of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, or Minecraft for hours is bad...

A Republican state senator on Tuesdayissued a stark warning to California parents, urging them to “flee” the state if they love their children as a radical bill advances that could result in parents being considered “abusive” if they refuse to affirm their own child’s gender confusion.

OLATHE, KS — In the wake of the Target controversy resulting in widespread calls for boycotts among suburban housewife shoppers, husbands across the United States have begun praying faith-based home decor retail chain Hobby Lobby will make a bad public relations decision to cause a similar firestorm. "There's got to be something they can do," said Brandon Quezada, whose wife, Rachel, spent $728 on Hobby Lobby craft supplies this morning. "We all lucked out with Target continuing to be completely horrible, so the boycott there has been a real financial blessing. What would really help now is if Hobby Lobby...

U.S. — In a stunning turn of events, Adolf Hitler, the infamous dictator responsible for World War II and the Holocaust, has announced his bid for the US presidency in the upcoming 2024 election. Hitler, well known for his oppressive regime and genocidal policies that killed millions of Jews, has chosen America as the stage for his political comeback. In a bizarre press conference held on Twitter Spaces where he was interviewed by Elon Musk, Hitler unveiled his new presidential campaign slogan: "Make America Nazi Again." Hitler explained that his platform is simple authoritarianism, xenophobia, and an extreme disregard for...

WORLD — A mysterious new virus is forcing millions of people around the world to call in sick to work today, according to sources. "We've never seen anything like this," said a World Health Organization spokesperson Chad Muskrat to reporters. "It seems to be exclusively affecting males between the ages of 10 and 40. So far, tens of millions in the U.S. alone have called in sick. We are urging everyone to stay in their homes and maybe relax on the couch while, I don't know, playing a video game or something." "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a...

Heavenly Father - thank you that I, David French, am so much more righteous than all the other white evangelicals in the world. It is such a deep privilege, every Lord's Day, to publicly proclaim in the pages of the New York Times how stupid and bigoted white evangelicals are - with one exception (me, David French). What a gift it is to be me. Yes, I thank you Lord! Thank you that I am not like those evil "Christians" who declined the COVID vaccine. From my seat atop this shining hill of righteousness, I can write articles declaring those...

A new version of how the face of the legendary Greek king and army leader Alexander the Great might have been in real life is presented by Royalty Now Studios on YouTube. Researchers have often employed modern technology and historical records to try and answer the question what Alexander’s true face might have looked like, also based on numerous surviving busts of the great Greek leader who was born in 356 b.C. and died in 323 b.C.. In his short but fascinating life, Alexander created a vast empire that stretched from Greece to northwestern India and established him in the...

U.S. — In the days after disturbing footage surfaced of the Dalai Lama engaging in grossly inappropriate conduct with a child, the Buddhist leader has been inundated with requests from public libraries across the U.S., Canada, and Europe to read to kids in special "Dalai Lama Story Hours." "As soon as we saw the clip, we knew we needed to have this guy reading stories to vulnerable kids at one of our library locations," said Jason Kucsma, the Director of the Toledo Public Library. "Our passion is to get as many innocent kids in a room with creepy grown single...

CHICAGO, IL — After a century of electing nothing but Democrats and getting only corruption, death, and poverty in return, Chicago residents have decided to make a change to the status quo by electing a different Democrat this time. "Maybe this Democrat will be different," said one local business owner while sweeping up the broken glass from her store after getting robbed for the 15th time this year. "We tried Democrats 4 years ago, and also before that, and before that, and before that, and before that, and before that, and before that, and before that, and before that, and...

The return to Babylon presupposes the re-divinization of man and society. In this ancient way of viewing reality, the cosmos is god (the androgynous divine One Substance, Divine Mens, Super Consciousness, etc), earth is Goddess Gaia, the totalitarian State is likewise divine, earthly rulers are divine representatives, or Baals, of ‘god’ (Divine Mens, etc) and the sexual ideal is the two-in-one, meaning transgender. In this way of thinking about reality, everything–including all humans—belong to divine Baals to keep or dispose of as they see fit.

YORK, NY — Beloved Football superstar Colin Kaepernick has announced he will be suing his white parents for the cruel act of adopting him into a white family without his consent. Kaepernick's legal team announced he is seeking $21 million in reparations from the couple. "The damage done to our client by growing up in a loving household under two white parents is incalculable," said Attorney Jim Grifton outside the law offices of Grifton & Grift, LLC to members of the press. "Having a present father, living in the suburbs, and being kept safe from gang violence deprived him of...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press conference held in support of Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg yesterday, Democrats vowed to arrest as many political opponents as it would take to defeat fascism. "Fascism is a clear and present danger in this country," began Senator Chuck Schumer, "and the only way to defeat it is with a corrupt, all-powerful police state that can imprison anyone who disagrees with us politically. If we don't do this, fascism will win." "No one is above the law," agreed House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Using campaign funds improperly to pay off someone you slept with is...

KALAMAZOO, MI — With sheepishness in his voice and a spot of Three-Pepper Sauce™ on his collar, local accountant Zed Filbertson was seen on a call with his credit card company, informing them that yes, regretfully he was actually eating at Arby's for the third time that day. The credit card company's fraud detection unit expressed skepticism at Filbertson's claim. "I assure you, I'm sitting in a booth at the 5th South Arby's right now, finishing up my curly fries and pondering my life choices," insisted Mr. Filbertson as he finished up his curly fries and sighed audibly. "I understand...