Posted on 03/23/2023 4:13:46 AM PDT by servo1969
YORK, NY — Beloved Football superstar Colin Kaepernick has announced he will be suing his white parents for the cruel act of adopting him into a white family without his consent. Kaepernick's legal team announced he is seeking $21 million in reparations from the couple.
"The damage done to our client by growing up in a loving household under two white parents is incalculable," said Attorney Jim Grifton outside the law offices of Grifton & Grift, LLC to members of the press. "Having a present father, living in the suburbs, and being kept safe from gang violence deprived him of the black American experience to which his skin color entitles him. We demand his parents pay the reparations they owe him as white oppressors.
Kaepernick's parents have yet to comment, having supported his stands for racial justice as well as the first 18 years of his life, but insiders say they are struggling with his public denouncement of their parenting. "Rick and Teresa will continue to be supportive of their son but are surprised he would sue them for their mistakes, or seek more reparations when they gave him a weekly reparation of $20 his entire young life," said friends of the family.
At publishing time, Colin Kaepernick had announced a new book addressing the racist and insensitive foods his mother cooked for him. A slot has already been reserved on the New York Times bestseller list during the release week.
Excellent!
Almost got me. I actually got into reading halfway through the article before recognizing the style.
Good, let that be a lesson on making chicken salad to all do gooders.
Gee...I already had a few choice words for the “baby”.
Gotta love it!
When satire becomes almost indistinguishable from plausible truth...
Seriously, when does he sue the NFL for reparations? He was a NFL slave in San Francisco. File the suit there and hit the jackpot.
Don’t give that idiot any ideas!
They got me. fkrs.
For the millionaire victim, it wasn’t a stretch for me.
“Having a present father, living in the suburbs, and being kept safe from gang violence deprived him of the black American experience to which his skin color entitles him.”
Ha!
The title got me for a moment. So believable!
“A slot has already been reserved on the New York times best seller list for when a book is released.” All the truth about publishing today.
Brilliant, Colon is still a POS.
i fell for the headline, because it’s Kaeperdick.
I would have thought he would be using the law firm of: Dewey, Dickum & How.
This guy is one sorry MF half n-
Another thumbs up for da Bee!
The loser would give anything to step back on to the MFL’s Gridiron Plantation where he could play children’s games again and go back to the days of his childhood living in a white neighborhood.
Nicely done BB!
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