Free Republic

BLACK ROCK CITY, NV — President Biden has approved an emergency shipment of $40 billion worth of drugs be airdropped to stranded revelers at the Burning Man Festival. "Look, Jack, we have 70,000 hippies stranded in tents in the middle of the desert with no uppers, downers, OR psychedelics," he noted from his beach chair in Delaware. "That's why I've asked Congress to declare a state of emergency and rush these much-needed drugs to Nevada immediately!" Sources noted that supplies of illicit substances had been running low after heavy rains stranded attendees in the desert for several days. "Many of...

NEW YORK, NY — Planned Parenthood CEO Alexis McGill Johnson issued a dire warning in response to Mattel's new Down Syndrome Barbie, saying it might cause young, impressionable girls to think that all human life has value. "Here at Planned Parenthood, we proudly kill almost 90% of Down Syndrome babies before they have the chance to pollute the world with their inferior genetics," said Johnson. "Our eugenics program could be in jeopardy if kids start to see Down Syndrome kids as precious gifts worthy of love. We can't allow that to happen."

Murderer Undecided On Whether He'll Follow New Gun Laws [satire]

U.S.—We finally have some healing and unity in our nation as a Klansman and a rich liberal activist were seen cheering together as a black neighborhood burned down. Similar scenes played out across the country as looters and rioters destroyed many minority neighborhoods and both the KKK and rich, white, liberal activists joined arms to celebrate. Powerful stuff. The uniting of the two unlikely allies has even caused some confusion, as some liberals are being mistaken for KKK members and vice versa. “This is what justice looks like!” tweeted a man as majority-black neighborhoods burned, though it was unclear if...