Free Republic

BALTIMORE – A man alleging a Maryland doctor stapled his rectum shut during an operation — causing him to go without defecating for 17 days — took his federal lawsuit to trial Monday in Baltimore. Ronald Watkins, 64, of West Virginia, is suing Manuel Casiano, a doctor in Frederick County, for allegedly botching a 2004 surgery that left Watkins with permanent bowel problems. “The reason for suing Dr. Casiano is very simple: His rectum was stapled shut,” said Julia Lodowski, who with attorney Emily Malarkey is representing Watkins and his wife, Brenda.

As Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were kissing and making up last Friday, Bill Clinton might have had other ideas, according to a report in The (London) Telegraph. The paper reports that even as the former president and the current presumptive Democratic nominee prepare to meet to make their own amends, Bill Clinton reportedly told close friends Obama can “kiss my ass” to get his support. The paper cited an anonymous Democratic source who provided the quote. That source also said Clinton is not making the primary effort to bridge the chasm between himself and Obama. “He’s saying he’s not...

  June 4, 2008  This cartoon/graphic is free for noncommercial use in emails, blogs, and forums.  iowapresidentialwatch.com

U.S. Wary Of Small Boat Terrorism As boating season approaches, the Bush administration wants to enlist America's 80 million recreational boaters to help reduce the chances that a small boat could deliver a nuclear or radiological bomb somewhere along the 95,000 miles of U.S. coastline and inland waterways. According to an April 23 intelligence assessment obtained by The Associated Press, "The use of a small boat as a weapon is likely to remain al Qaeda's weapon of choice in the maritime environment, given its ease in arming and deploying, low cost, and record of success." While the United States...

WASHINGTON — The Federal Communications Commission has proposed a $1.4 million fine against 52 ABC Television Network stations over a 2003 broadcast of cop drama NYPD Blue. The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower. The scene depicted "multiple, close-up views" of the woman's "nude buttocks" according to an agency order issued late Friday. ... FCC's definition of indecent content requires that the broadcast "depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities" in a "patently offensive way" and is aired between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. The...

~~~Snip~~~ No one at the 28th annual Mooning of Amtrak seems to know exactly why they pull down their pants every time a train goes by. ~~~Snip~~~ Exhibit A: Gramma Charleen Sandoval of Chino says this about her 10-year-old grandson who's mooning with her: "He was practicing last night in front of the house." ~~~Snip~~~

Marshalltown, Iowa (AP) -- Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison. "She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face." Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said. Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls...

THERE are a few exceptions which will always stand out, but most female stars yearn for a diminutive derriere. However, it appears that the small and slender bottom is very much a recent trend after an archaeological discovery revealed how Stone Age pin-ups were far from size zero. Ancient carvings depicting the female form 15,000 years ago reveal that prehistoric women were revered for their curvaceous bodies and prominent buttocks. The most popular were the cave-dwellers’ equivalents of Kylie Minogue (pictured), whose renowned behind is the world’s most popular posterior. Historians claim that the carvings – found at a site...

New Yorkers got to kick President George W. Bush's butt on Thursday, sort of. Performance artist Mark McGowan kicked off his bid to crawl for 72 hours across Manhattan dressed as the president, offering the opportunity to kick his backside. The controversial artist from London began his odyssey from New York's Lincoln Centre wearing a rubber George Bush mask, a business suit, knee pads, work gloves and a sign stuck to his cushioned posterior reading simply: "Kick My Ass".

Congressman Dana Rohrabacher makes the Dixie Chicks sound like bosom buddies of President George W. Bush. Politics being politics, it's easy to dismiss the antipathy liberals have for Mr. Bush. But Bush has lost the support -- and even the respect -- of Mr. Rohrabacher. The California Republican is serving his ninth term and has a lifetime score of 95 from the American Conservative Union. He also has had it with a commander in chief who prefers surrender to being the defender of America's defenseless border with Mexico. Rohrabacher said the minute two unjustly convicted men who had been Border...

Never one to let his work fall between the cracks, a British bum researcher has published two scientific formulas for the perfect posterior. David Holmes, a high-profile psychologist from Manchester Metropolitan University, says the female behind can be assessed using the equation: (S+C) x (B+F)/T - V, which takes into account shape, circularity of buttocks, "bounce factor," firmness, texture of skin, and vertical ratio. Proportion, calculated by dividing waist measurement by hip measurement, is also significant. The closer the ratio is to 0.7, the more likely the woman's derriere is "sexily proportioned." "The litmus test for the perfect female bum...

BISBEE — As Congress has taken up the issue of immigration reform, the Mexican government of President Vicente Fox has been anything but a disinterested bystander. When the House of Representatives approved a bill in December that would have built 700 miles of fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border and made it a felony to reside illegally in the U.S., Fox denounced the measure as shameful. His foreign minister, Luis Ernesto Derbez, went further and called it stupid and underhanded. After thousands of marchers took to the streets of U.S. cities last week to protest the pending immigration legislation, Fox’s spokesman,...

MONDAY, Nov. 28 (HealthDay News) -- Too much "junk in the trunk" isn't just a cosmetic concern anymore. Excess buttocks fat, especially in women, can reduce the effectiveness of vaccines, painkillers, contraceptives and anti-nausea drugs that are typically injected into the buttocks' gluteal muscles, researchers report. "We are the first to report that the majority of intramuscular injections into the buttocks are not effective in the Western adult population," said Victoria O. Chan, a researchers at The Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Dublin, Ireland, and the lead researcher on the study. She said obesity is the big reason drugs often...

Three men detained on terrorist suspicions still under investigation Sheriff Hunter said he had new information on the trio before the medical students appeared on Larry King Live Tuesday, September 17, 2002By MIREIDY FERNANDEZ, mmfernandez@naplesnews.com Just hours before the three men who were detained in Collier County on suspicion of carrying explosives appeared on CNN on Monday night, Sheriff Don Hunter said he had new information on the trio, whose alleged joking comments about a terrorist plot ignited fears across America last week. "We believe the information (in this case) is not over because of other uncorroborated information we have...

A WOMAN WHO was branded with part of Con Edison's logo after falling onto a burning hot Manhattan manhole cover is suing the utility. A lawsuit filed yesterday in Manhattan Supreme Court accuses Con Ed of allowing the manhole cover at E. 13th St. and Second Ave., to become excessively hot through a buildup of steam under it. Elizabeth Wallenberg, 27, suffered "excruciating pain, disability and grotesque cosmetic disfigurement," according to the suit, which seeks unspecified damages. The fall left Wallenberg with a "C" and "O" and part of the manhole grid burned onto her back, just above the buttocks,...

Kylie Minogue diagnosed with breast cancer May 17, 2005 SYDNEY, Australia -- Australian pop star Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will undergo immediate treatment, her management team said. ADVERTISEMENT Her tour of Australia was postponed following the announcement. A statement from Minogue's management said the 36-year-old's diagnosis was confirmed this week during a visit to the southern Australian city of Melbourne. "Whilst at home in Melbourne with her family this week prior to her Australian Showgirl Tour, Kylie was diagnosed with early breast cancer," the statement said. In the statement, Minogue said: "I was so looking...

Bogota, Feb 1 (EFE).- The mayor of a northern Colombian town was wounded in the buttocks when a pistol in his pocket accidentally discharged while he was taking down his pants to use the toilet at a small general store, the local press reported Tuesday. Rafael Augusto Galan, mayor of Ramiriqui, was recovering in a hospital in the provincial capital of Tunja following the embarassing mishap Monday.

<p>At least three men reportedly were taken into federal custody in two Pensacola malls as the FBI and the federal Immigration and Naturalization Service initiated a nationwide sweep Wednesday.</p> <p>Witnesses said plain-clothes agents closed Intrigue jewelry vendors at Cordova and University malls, Wild Things at University and possibly other shops.</p>

It's 10 minutes before the show goes live on the air, and nobody predicted the developing dilemma. The show's gossip reporter is having second thoughts about dropping his pants on live television to have his buttocks read by local television psychic Professor Jose Miranda. What about reading it over my underwear?" asks the reporter, clearly upset and looking very serious. "I can't see the lines. How do you expect me to give a reading?" the oracle answers, just as serious. "I have to see the lines." Following an ardent debate, the producers of the phenomenally popular and raunchy late-night talk...

I am starting a grammar thread at the behest of Xenalyte and TheMom. Post your most irritating pet peeves of grammar or usage here.

Ditto, Tom...Former Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle says goodbye.     This is an email-able, copyright-ready graphic you can use in emails, on blogs, in flyers, on posters... anything that's noncommercial.

SAN FRANCISCO - In the strange world of Schwarzenegger-era politics, it seems only fitting that the Republican governor, who rode to fame making tough-guy action films and who's been accused by dozens of women of being a serial groper, could get away with standing before a state women's conference and boast that he had angered a group of nurses because he was "always kicking their butts." Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger made the remarks in Long Beach last week as he opened the first day of the California Gov.'s Conference on Women and Families, an annual gathering hosted this year by his...

.Lo and Beyonce can take another bow. The booty-shaking stars have shaped the newest generation of mannequins, with hundreds of well-rounded plastic backsides appearing in shop windows across New York. Bootylicious figures clad in tight low-rise jeans have spilled from the city's street fashion stores into more established labels. "It's absolutely the trend," said Dwight Critchfield, creative director for mannequin firm Goldsmith. "These mannequins look great, and there is a real sex appeal about them." The recent pop culture fixation on large bottoms has been around since at least 1992, when rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot scored a hit with "Baby Got...

MIDI - YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SO NICE - (60s, left column) (INTRO) My butt has just been hit by rice...it hurt, I'm not kidding you I hope it doesn't happen twice...I think I know what to do I'll take my Smith-Corona to my room Pretending I survived a mighty boom...facing doom My butt has just been hit by rice...I think I get a purple heart I hope it doesn't happen twice...I'm glad I'd done my part I'll take my Smith-Corona to my room Pretending I survived a mighty boom...facing doom My butt has just been hit by...

NAME THIS GUN, win a date with Nadler.

Tired of being sniggered at, people from French villages whose names sound like 'filthy swine' and 'my arse' plan a weekend get-together in a tiny hamlet whose name means 'eat onions' in old French. The idea, local newspapers say, is for the villagers to form a united front against constant teasing and forge a new pride in their colourful toponyms. Only villages "with suggestive names that evoke a smile, a laugh, or have a singsong folkloric name" can take part, say organisers, who plan a gourmet market to show off local fare. The organisers say they do not want the...

Doctors in Australia have urged people to not to attempt Jackass style stunts after a man burnt his genitals in a firecracker accident. The 26-year-old Australian man suffered a fractured pelvis and severe burns when a firecracker exploded between the cheeks of his buttocks. The incident has left the man, from Illawarra, New South Wales, incontinent and unable to have sex and he is expected to remain in hospital for several months. Dr Robert McCurdie, who operated on the man when he was taken to Wollongong Hospital, likened the man's condition to "a war injury". Dr McCurdie said he believed...

Neighbors of Alameda County site complain of garbage, no tax benefit By Matt Carter, STAFF WRITER To engineers and accountants, eastern Alameda County looked like a pretty good place to build a natural gas-fired power plant. The area is sparsely inhabited, and there's ready access to water, natural gas lines and the state's electrical grid. That helps explain why Calpine Corp. and Florida-based FPL Energy filed separate applications two years ago with the California Energy Commission to build 1,100 megawatt generating plants between Livermore and Tracy. One megawatt is enough generating capacity to supply 750 to 1,000 homes. If built,...

<p>May 12, 2003 -- A Brooklyn woman stabbed her hubby to death early yesterday after he complained about her figure and how long she spent using the computer, cops said.</p> <p>Judy Thomas, 27, was in the bedroom of the pair's basement apartment on Hemlock Street in Cypress Hills around 1 a.m. when her husband, Jackson Thomas, berated her about the amount of time she spent on the computer, investigators said.</p>

MORGANTON - Authorities say a 41-year-old Burke County man assaulted his girlfriend, her mother and a neighbor until the girlfriend fought back -- shooting him in the buttocks.Dwayne Fleming is held on $50,000 bond, charged with assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury and misdemeanor assault.Fleming and his girlfriend, Tammy Gladden, had been arguing Wednesday morning at Fleming's home on Mill Race Road, south of Morganton, said Burke County Sheriff's Lt. John Suttle.Gladden went to her mother's house nearby, Fleming followed, and in the ensuing argument Gladden was beaten and kicked in the stomach and face with heavy boots,...

She is being interviewed---telling her story.

From Our Correspondent GUJRANWALA – A constable of Elite Force shot dead four persons including his father and grandfather on a dispute Thursday. He was arrested soon after the incident. Constable Javed Iqbal was in love with a Christian girl Nusrat who was also having relations with Mohammad Yousaf alias Cukoo Butt. Javed Iqbal’s father did not agree on this marriage while Cukoo Butt was also not ready to end his links with Nusrat. Javed Iqbal went to the shop of Cukoo Butt and gunned him down. Here he found Rana Nasir, a friend of Cukoo Butt. He shot him...

I just noticed the family name of one of the Florida detainees--Butt. Butt was also the family name of the guy they arrested for taking photos of the WTC days before the 9/11 attack. Pakistani who took photos of WTC sentenced Is "Butt" the Pakistani equivalent of "Smith?"

Blind Psychic Feels Buttocks To Tell Future Man Says Backsides Can Be Read Like Palms A blind psychic claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks, according to a Local 6 News report. Ulf Buck, 39, is a German clairvoyant who claims a person's backside has lines that allow him to predict anything from financial fortune and family life to health and happiness. Buck said the lines on a person's buttocks are similar to those found on the palm of the hand. He said that he has trained his fingers to aquire the skill of reading buttocks....

A Pakistani man who spent hours photographing the World Trade Center days before it was destroyed was sentenced to six months in jail for immigration violations exactly one year after suspicions over the pictures prompted his arrest. Ashar Butt, 22, acknowledged that he entered the country illegally last year using an altered British passport, but his lawyers said he only came to the United States to start a new life. "He was an innocent individual taking pictures," said his attorney, Anser Ahmad. He added that Butt has already spent a year in jail and is eligible for release within a...

Tip O'Neill once said that all politics is local. Denise Majette's defeat of Cynthia McKinney is a true case in point. While McKinney's father, state Rep. Billy McKinney (D-Atlanta) and other anti-Semites would like to blame "the J-E-W-S" for the loss, Cynthia McKinney has no one to blame but herself. No amount of creative scapegoating can erase the simple fact that the voters of the 4th Congressional District chose Majette because McKinney did not represent us effectively. McKinney chose to divide us --- not to unite us. Nor can anything change the fact that many of McKinney's traditional supporters chose...

<p>RAWALPINDI, Pakistan (AP) --  Four times in the last four years, Bashir Butt tracked down his son at training camps for Islamic extremists in Pakistani-controlled Kashmir and begged him to come home.</p> <p>On July 9, police arrived at the Butts' modest home here and told them their son Kamran, 21, was dead. He died while attacking Christians leaving a church in Taxila about 30 miles west of Islamabad. Three Christian nurses were killed and a fourth was mortally wounded.</p>