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The Democrats new promise "A New Direction For America - Vote Democratic" The stock market is at a new all-time high and America's 401 K's are back. A new direction from there means, what? Unemployment is at 25 year lows. A new direction from there means, what? Taxes are at 20 year lows. A new direction from there means what? Federal tax revenues are at all-time highs. A new direction from there means, what? The Federal deficit is down almost 50%, just as predicted over last year. A new direction from there means what? Home valuations are up 200% over...

AUSTIN, Texas -- A Texas high school teacher is fighting for her teaching license after her partner posted topless pictures of her on the Internet. Before that, school officials in Austin thought Tamara Hoover was an excellent art teacher. However, after the photos surfaced on flickr.com, she was told she had become ineffective and was fired. http://www.local6.com/education/9386537/detail.html

Over the course of the last few months I have received unsolicited facsimile transmissions from one particular fax blaster. The number for removal and the number to fax back the advertisements for health insurance, mortgages, hot leads, selling my business and so on is also in my area code. The telephone number is not serviced by the local exchange carrier (Verizon) but a competing local exchange carrier (CLEC) After the first fax on August 7th I called the ‘removal’ number on the fax but it was busy. I tried about six times but it was always busy. I used nanpa.com...

The grieving Libs arrived down in Crawford you know, the mean and nasty kind I looked across and there I saw Cindy waiting to meet the press this time and through her sweat she looked much older her middle fifties I would say From where I stood I saw she was crying and through her tears I heard her say Casey wasn't a hero, he made a waste of his life Casey wasn't a hero, so I'll keep spinning my strife. And as she started to go, she said "That"expletive deleted" gotta' go Casey wasn't a hero, why can't they...

How can we be sure Your opinion's constantly changing How can we be sure What you plan to do Whatever lie Whatever lie seems like it works for you You wanna' try Cause that's what you've become accustomed to How do we know Maybe you're really a sissy All you decisions are iffy You act so French it's profound And every time Every time we learn some awful truth Your alibi Is telling people it was just your youth It seems you're just hanging around, your solutions all seem unsound It's a pity, the Dems had to find someone who's...

Dear Iraqi People, Please understand that we feel your pain. We felt your pain for the children. That is why when we had a Democratic President in office, we just fired cruise missiles into your neighborhoods instead of making the tough decision to free you from tyranny. Our President, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, understood your situation and he wants you to know that he tried his best to think about you while receiving oral sex over a fresh pizza. Afterall, he was a multi-tasker and directed troop movements over the telephone when getting a Presidential blowjob. Now our party, the...

Dear Iraqi People, Please understand that we feel your pain. We felt your pain for the children. That is why when we had a Democratic President in office, we just fired cruise missiles into your neighborhoods instead of making the tough decision to free you from tyranny. Our President, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, understood your situation and he wants you to know that he tried his best to think about you while receiving oral sex over a fresh pizza. Afterall, he was a multi-tasker and directed troop movements over the telephone when getting a Presidential blowjob. Now our party, the...

1996 State Of The Union Address Jan. 23, 1996 My duty tonight is to report on the state of the Union -- not the state of our government, but of our American community; and to set forth our responsibilities, in the words of our Founders, to form a more perfect union.... Tonight I want to speak to you about the challenges we all face as a people. Strengthening Families Our first challenge is to cherish our children and strengthen America's families. Family is the foundation of American life. If we have stronger families, we will have a stronger America. Before...

Tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation says, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in government and business, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed such as: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing Riders. 3. Threatening the horse with termination. 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses. 6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. 7. Reclassifying the dead horse as...

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires. 1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other First Name:______________ Initial:_________________ Last Name: ____________________ Password: (max 8. char) _____________ Code name:_____________________ Latitude/Longitude/Altitude: / / 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? [_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15...

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2050 DC National Zoo to Receive Rare Cow Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil of Monopoly Charges 50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss Baby Conceived Naturally It Wasn't the Cigarettes -- It Was the Ashtrays Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President Florida to Be Readmitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome young Actor. "This Is True Love," He Beams. Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial In DC Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis ...

Media pundits and many on the talk-show circuit are outraged with the recent announcement of the largest long-term study of child care in U.S. history. Anti-day care folks are excited, because the study supports their view. The pro-day care crowd, however, are on the warpath, because the study says their programs have failed. Unfortunately for those trying to claim bias, this research wasn’t conducted by conservatives; it’s from the National Institute on Child Health and Human Development of the National Institutes of Health. They followed 1,100 children in ten cities and in many settings: relatives, nannies, large day care centers, ...

Our annual account of the wheels of justice coming off Gail Diane Cox The National Law Journal April 30, 2001 Lewd, rude, nude and less-than-shrewd. That pretty well covers the short list of rogue judges and ex-judges who won't be hearing cases as of Law Day, May 1, and whose absence from the bench is indeed a reason to celebrate. Here is The National Law Journal's fourth annual survey of injudicious black-robed antics, drawn from published accounts and interviews with state judicial conduct commissions nationwide. The rules of engagement: We're not interested in the garden-variety ticket fixers or sad-sack ...

In the Judicial Watch 90 million-dollar lawsuit, many hundreds of thousands of e-mails from Vice President Gore's office were not properly archived and have apparently been “lost”. While Vice President Gore tries beating through the bushes in his attempt to find more votes in Florida, he has already conceded to a loss of hundreds of thousands of subpoenaed e-mails. ,br> When SCOTUS rules that this election is over, Al Gore should be required to conduct just as diligent a search for the lost e-mails. In the heat of this election fight, lets not lose sight of the fact that Al ...

After the Florida recounts have been completed, let us call on Al Gore to begin as diligent a search for the more than one million e-mails that are currently missing from the Clinton/Gore administration. Vice President Al Gore has told us that he believes that the letter of the law should be followed and that no stone should be unturned to find the truth. Perhaps the press will insist on a complete and thorough search for these missing documents immediately following the outcome of this election fiasco.. Perhaps I should take my meds and get some rest…….

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude. "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did ...

"Bill Gates was the richest man in America, and after he had gained a good deal of the world, God sent him an e-mail: ‘Beloved Bill, I saw how you allocated your time resources last Sunday morning, and I was not impressed. "’Riding a stationary bike, watching guys on the Men’s Channel talk about tri-glycerides and PSA counts, three words of advice, Bill, love thy neighbor. Ever hear what happened to the rich man who stiff-armed the beggar, Lazarus? I caused a general protection fault, and he has been offline for centuries. Anything you’d like to talk about? I’m here. ...