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Keyword: notfunny

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  • Ebola Memes. (Its Friday, we can laugh can't we.)

    10/03/2014 8:47:00 AM PDT · by Vermont Lt · 7 replies
    Roll Call ^ | 10/1/2014 | Warren Rojas
    I know Ebola is serious. But, what the hell, lets have a chuckle. **** Warning **** Contains a slam at Sarah. I think the other ones are 'funny' and outweigh the slap at her. Hate Rojas and Roll Call. Not me. You have been warned.
  • Father of 'devastated' model singled out by virgin killer -barely remembers him'

    05/26/2014 12:17:20 PM PDT · by equalator · 112 replies
    Mail Online UK ^ | 5-26-2014 | Will Payne
    The model branded an 'evil b****' by virgin killer Elliot Rodger and blamed for his hatred of women is 'absolutely devastated' that she has been linked to the massacre, her father revealed today. Stunning blonde Monette Moio 'teased and ridiculed' Rodger after they met at school, sparking his vendetta against female kind, he claimed in his rambling 141-page manifesto. Enacting his 'revenge', he stabbed three friends to death at his home before shooting dead two sorority sisters and another male student in Santa Barbara on Friday. But now Monette's father, Hollywood stuntman John Moio, has defended his daughter, saying it...
  • Creepy Killer Clown Attacks in New Internet Prank (Video)

    05/16/2014 11:23:30 AM PDT · by MNDude · 30 replies
    I'm too lazy to post the source ^ | I'm too lazy to post the date | I'm too lazy to post the author
    So, I think it is safe to say that if you are deathly afraid of clowns, like a few people I know, this is certainly not going to help things in any way, shape, or form. There is a new video making its way around the internet the shows a creepy killer clown making his way around the city brutally “murdering” people in front of seemingly innocent bystanders. In the video, the clown, complete with circus-like oversized mallet and everything, is hiding behind a wall in a parking garage. When two men come walking down the stairs, they see what...
  • A FOURTH student comes forward with allegations Math teacher, 24, had sex with him [Short title]

    04/08/2014 9:43:18 AM PDT · by QT3.14 · 51 replies
    Daily Mail (UK) ^ | April 4, 2014 | Associated Press and Daily Mail Reporter
    A fourth high school student has come forward claiming 24-year-old former math teacher Meredith Powell sexually abused him during her time at Washington's Lincoln High School. Powell was arrested in February and then confessed to performing sex acts with multiple students, one as young as 15 years old, inside her locked classroom, as well as sending them sexualized pictures of herself. She previously faced two counts of child rape and one count of communication with a minor for immoral purposes.
  • I, Gamecock, completed RICO and will become Catholic next week.

    04/01/2014 5:34:45 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 38 replies
    1 April 2014 | Gamecock
    I... After careful prayer and... Sorry. Even though it is April Fools Day I just can't pull this off.
  • Peace deal reached before haredi protest (Kerry vs. Israel)

    03/02/2014 5:00:44 PM PST · by Olog-hai · 2 replies
    Times of Israel ^ | March 2, 2014 10:31 AM | Benji Lovitt
    In an unexpected turn of events just hours before the massive haredi demonstration to protest the “draft bill”, a peace deal with the Palestinians was reached when Israeli negotiators offered the neighborhoods of Mea Shearim, Sanhedria and Geula as the future Palestinian capital. In a formal statement from the American State Department, Secretary John Kerry said, “Everyone said a deal couldn’t be reached but I knew they were wrong. In fact, the Israelis couldn’t make this concession quickly enough. It was almost as if they were asking the other side to take the land.” …
  • Confession: I oppose Obama because he's Black

    12/04/2013 7:49:59 AM PST · by mhutcheson · 48 replies
    snapoutofitamerica.wordpress.com ^ | Dec. 3, 2013 | Michael Hutcheson
    Robert Redford and Oprah Winfrey recently became the latest in a long line of celebrities, Democrats and others who have publicly stated that those of us who oppose Obama’s policies do so only because he is black. I have ignored or denied this charge for five years. After careful self-reflection and honest soul searching, however, I now wish to confess and admit the truth: the reason, and the only reason, I oppose Obama’s policies is because he is black.
  • White House spokesman jokes about Islamic attacks on Christian churches in Egypt

    08/22/2013 7:01:36 AM PDT · by Morgana · 23 replies
    daily caller ^ | Neil Munro
    The White House’s deputy press secretary today downplayed Muslim attacks on Christians in Egypt, joking about the savagery that has left at least six Christians dead. Press secretary Josh Earnest was asked by Fox News’ correspondent, Ed Henry, if President Barack Obama has a “red line” beyond which he would act against Muslim attacks on Egyptian Christians. “Well, I didn’t bring my red pen out with me today,” Earnest joked. fter making his joke, Earnest said the administration is “outraged… and concerned” about the Muslim attacks on almost 100 churches, monasteries, orphanages and other marked Christian sites. Many Christians’ shops...
  • BREAKING: RG III announces Redskins will NOT play tonite until Congress reaches an agreement

    12/30/2012 1:44:53 PM PST · by ken5050 · 43 replies
    one man's opinion...
    In a stunning development just moments ago, that left reporters in the room absolutely speechless, Redskins QB Robert Griffin III held a sudden press conference and announced that the entire Redskins teams had voted unanimously to NOT play tonight's game against the Dallas Cowboys until Congress reaches a deal to solve the fiscal problem.
  • Jamie Foxx Defends Calling Barack Obama 'Lord and Savior'

    12/07/2012 12:42:14 PM PST · by SeekAndFind · 26 replies
    Christian Post ^ | 12/07/2012 | Christine Thomasos
    Jamie Foxx caused some controversy when he referred to President Barack Obama as "our lord and savior" at the 2012 Soul Train Awards, but the Academy Award-winning actor is defending his actions. Foxx, 44, drew criticism from the likes of Bill Donohue, President of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, and Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in California. Donohue has been vocal about protesting Obama's policies like the HHS Mandate and released a statement calling Foxx's remarks "startling." "It just goes to show that even though Obama did not succeed in stopping the oceans from rising (as...
  • Miller Lite

    02/16/2012 3:28:22 PM PST · by NKP_Vet · 22 replies
    There is a hidden message here that women cannot understand, some men may, and all street cops will. A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Miller Lite he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Miller Lite, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed...
  • Principal apologizes after shocking video shows blindfolded students making out with their PARENTS

    12/16/2011 10:32:44 AM PST · by Charlespg · 104 replies
    Mail Online ^ | 16th December 2011 | Jennifer Madison
    They were told to expect a kiss from a 'special someone'. But the joke was on teenagers at Rosemount High School when the mystery lip locks they suspected came from their classmates... were actually from their parents. Now that footage of the cringe-worthy pep rally prank has gone viral, John Wollersheim says as the school principal he owes an apology to everyone who was offended by the incestual display.
  • TSA Patdowns At Santa Fe Prom (Via Drudge)

    05/23/2011 4:43:50 AM PDT · by DaveTesla · 38 replies
    KOAT 7 Santa Fe NM ^ | May 21, 2011 | KOAT 7
    TSA Patdowns At Santa Fe Prom Video at link.
  • This is how you properly respond to a debt collector...

    02/15/2011 8:00:57 AM PST · by big black dog · 18 replies
  • Why We Don't Have To Worry Too Much About Russian Aircraft Carrier Opns, or "Oooops, Comarade"

    02/04/2011 3:49:01 PM PST · by MindBender26 · 21 replies
    Memo to Sov Navy pilots.... ALWAYS go to to full burner as you cross the fantail! Watch the video. :)
  • Jon Stewart: America’s Leading Journalist?

    01/12/2011 6:14:22 AM PST · by IbJensen · 11 replies
    New American ^ | January 11, 2011 | Thomas R Eddlem
    The question sounds like a joke, made up by one of the talented writers for Comedy Central’s Daily Show itself: Is the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart the journalistic reincarnation of Edward R. Murrow? But this was the serious question posed by New York Times writers Bill Carter and Brian Stelter on December 27, after Stewart rallied the media toward granting federal healthcare funding for September 11 first responders. Carter and Stelter ask: “And does that make that comedian, Jon Stewart — despite all his protestations that what he does has nothing to do with journalism — the modern-day equivalent of...
  • The MaggieCarta PDS Dictionary (The OTHER Word of the Day)

    12/07/2010 9:11:13 PM PST · by MaggieCarta · 63 replies
    Various | 12/7/10 | You Know Who
    Maybe you know her as the “PDS” Princess, the splenetic sister of snark, a loyal correspondent or perhaps a really fun time waster. Whatever you call her, DeMille can forget getting his close-up, because the FReeper known as MaggieCarta is ready for her zot, Mr. Robinson… Ok, before I begin the Dictionary, I'd like to say, I've really enjoyed my time here on FR. Best wishes, and a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2011 to all. The dictionary begins below...
  • False Alarm, Evacuation at Capitol; Senator Arrested [SATIRE]

    08/12/2010 10:05:56 AM PDT · by Pan_Yan · 24 replies
    My Twisted Little Brain | August 12, 2010 | Pan_Yan
    Washington- The Capitol was briefly evacuated this morning when a fire alarm pull station was activated on the senate floor after an argument amongst the South Carolina delegation. Senator Lindsey Graham (REPUBLICAN) was later arrested by Capitol Police in a bed room at John McCain's (REPUBLICAN) nearby town home and charged with the false alarm. Unnamed sources present on the floor at the time say Senators Graham (REPUBLICAN) and Jim DeMint (REPUBLICAN) were having a heated discussion over Graham's recent vote in favor of Elaine Kagan’s successful nomination to the United States Supreme Court, as well as his general squishiness....
  • CLINTON THROWS BACHELOR PARTY FOR MEZVINKSY

    07/31/2010 2:04:26 AM PDT · by tlb · 21 replies · 4+ views
    Weekly World News ^ | July 30th, 2010 | July 30th, 2010
    Rhinebeck, NY - Bill Clinton threw a wild bachelor party last night for his future son-in-law, Marc Mezvinsky. Chelsea Clinton wasn’t happy. Bill Clinton insisted on throwing a bachelor party for his future son-in-law, over the strong objections of his beautiful daughter, Chelsea. But when Bill wants something, Bill gets it. And what he wanted was… girls, girls, girls! The former President brought in seventy-five strippers, pole dancers, and contortionists to the “whipped-cream” themed party held for Marc Mezvinsky at the Veranda House in Rhinebeck. Marc was reluctant, but Bill told him, “You’re a Clinton now son, so you have...
  • Homeowner to Be Prosecuted for Shooting at Thieves (Satire)

    07/11/2010 11:43:41 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 31 replies · 3+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 11 July 2010 | John Semmens
    Wheat Ridge, Colorado homeowner, 82-year-old Robert Wallace, has been charged with attempted first degree murder for firing shots at two men who stole his trailer. The thieves—Damacio Torres and Alvara Cardano—have prior arrest records and are suspected of being in the country illegally. Jefferson County District Attorney, Scott Storey called the shooting completely unjustified. “First of all, at best, Wallace was confronting persons engaged in a property crime. The appropriate response is to let the property be taken. If it can later be located and he can prove it is rightfully his he may get it back. As it turned...
  • Warning from the Center of Disease Control (about elections)

    05/19/2010 6:47:01 AM PDT · by demkicker · 2 replies · 237+ views
    Email | unknown | unknown
    Information about Gonorrhea Lectim The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008...but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is. It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market...
  • Time to Throw Nuke Arizona, or Just Throw Them Out of the Union?

    05/12/2010 3:20:11 PM PDT · by Texas Peartree · 28 replies · 1,131+ views
    The Voice of Reason ^ | May 12, 2010 | Texas Peartree
    Since Arizona recently passed a law allowing state government officials to inquire about the immigration status of people during a lawful stop, the following has happened (or will soon happen); 1) President Obama has stated he will have his Justice Department look into whether this Arizona law (which closely tracks our unenforced federal laws) violates the Civil Rights of people in Arizona. 2) The City of Los Angeles (which, as I understand it, is flat broke) has cancelled $7 million worth of contracts with the state of Arizona. 3) Their sole NBA team, the Phoenix Suns, has shown solidarity with...
  • Obama’s National Security Advisor Tells Joke Depicting Jews as Greedy Merchants

    04/26/2010 12:10:58 AM PDT · by counterpunch · 212 replies · 7,031+ views
    Breitbart.tv ^ | April 25, 2010 at 11:32 pm | C-SPAN3/Yid With Lid
    Yid With Lid: He was giving the key note speech at a Washington Institute For Near East Policy and started it out with a "joke" that borders on anti-Semitic, teaching the crowd that Jews are just greedy merchants in the same vein as Shakespeare's Shylock... Editor's note: For Yid With Lid's full post on "The Joke" see the related link below. "• Yid With Lid: Jews are greedy merchants YouTube video 
  • RNC Slaps Jews Across The Face, After They Got Tired of Whipping [Satire]

    As I celebrate the freeing of my people from bondage, praying for the day when all people can be free (and adding the traditional 'next year in Jerusalem'), it was hard to ignore the intentional slap in the face by the RNC. The RNC reimbursed a donor for the few thousand they spent at a 'Bondage themed night club'. Coincidence; I think not. The donor may have repaid the expense, but the slap is still there.
  • Obama Surrenders To Yemen

    01/04/2010 4:58:24 PM PST · by writer33 · 28 replies · 862+ views
    Elective Decisions ^ | 01/04/2010 | Chris Davis
    Washington—Rather than hunt down the suspected terrorists and reopen the U.S. Embassy in Yemen, President Barack Obama has decided to surrender and withdraw all American interests. The surrender came at the end of unilateral talks with Al Qaeda and the Yemeni government. All agreed that “it would in the best interest for the United States to surrender and withdraw from Yemen entirely.” The surrender also included giving Florida to Yemen, and four locations of their choosing to set up Al Qaeda terrorist training camps, noting “that it will be easier to spot terrorists at home than sending the Central Intelligence...
  • Wanda Sykes: Obama is Fancy giftwrapped pack of underwear

    12/05/2009 8:09:57 PM PST · by Mr. K · 46 replies · 2,267+ views
    me ^ | 12/5/2009 | sefl
    Wanda Sykes- liberal lesbian black woman comedian, called Barack Obama a fancy christmas package you are all excited to get, but then you open it up and it turns out to be a 3 pack of underwear Then she went on a 5 minute monologue about "Is this it?" and "We had high hopes" and even "if this is the best he can do he is REALLY going to screw up for the next black president.. It was actually funny
  • FREE REPUBLIC EXCLUSIVE: The Hadley CRU emails are FAKE! [Satire]

    11/24/2009 7:38:25 PM PST · by grey_whiskers · 53 replies · 2,350+ views
    grey_whiskers ^ | 11-24-2009 | grey_whiskers
    STOP THE PRESSES! After doing a search on a number of links to the controversial emails which have been leaked or hacked from the Hadley Climate Research Center, it has been discovered that they are most likely FAKE. An examination of the emails in detail shows that they used proportional fonts, which were not available at the time of George Bush's stint in the Texas Air National Guard. "He played on our FEARS!" thundered a visibly upset Al Gore, screaming from a prepared statement. "He BETRAYED THIS COUNTRY!" Mary Mapes was unavailable for comment.
  • Are you watching "Breaking News" in the sidebar? Go Mods!

    10/09/2009 9:42:21 AM PDT · by greyfoxx39 · 65 replies · 2,202+ views
    Vanity
    Breaking News (News/Activism) FLASH: Barack Obama wins Top Chef Las Vegas, awarded FOUR Michelin Stars (out of 3) BREAKING:Obama wins the Cy Young Award Breaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news) BREAKING: Obama wins "Survivor" reality show! BREAKING! obama wins "American Idol" BREAKING: Obama Wins All Events at 2012 Olympics! Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010 Barack Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!! Barack Obama becomes New Santa Clause BREAKING: OBAMA WINS THE AMAZING RACE!!! Barack Obama Wins Indianapolis 500! BREAKING: Obama Wins Dancing with the Stars Trophy - Rest of Season...
  • Leaked text of Obama speech to schoolchildren shows parents right to worry

    09/04/2009 1:30:52 PM PDT · by RDangerfield · 18 replies · 1,665+ views
    Lewis Grossberger ^ | Sept. 4, 2009 | Lewis Grossberger
    Hi, kids. My name is Barack Obama and I'm the President of the United States. I'm sure you all know what that means. It means you have to do whatever I tell you because if you don't, I can take away your mommy and daddy and you'll never see them again. So listen real carefully, OK? I know a lot of you haven't been paying much attention to the argument we grown-ups are having about health-care reform. That's all right. It's really complicated stuff. Most of your parents have no idea what it's all about either. All you really need...
  • FReep this poll: what kind of senator will Al Franken be?

    07/07/2009 9:33:42 AM PDT · by rhema · 58 replies · 1,847+ views
    FReep this poll: what kind of senator will Al Franken be?
  • Obama Administration To Outlaw Dirty Brown Food Technologies

    04/18/2009 4:42:34 PM PDT · by catnipman · 40 replies · 2,764+ views
    Cat Nipman ^ | 08/18/09 | Cat Nipman
    ***NEWS FLASH ***Washington (AP) In a surprise move today, the Obama Administration announced newly proposed rules that prohibit food from being grown in dirt because of the danger of salmonella contamination.Although alternative technologies don’t yet exist to replace dirt, and hundreds of millions people in the United States are likely to perish from starvation in the next few years, the Obama Administration said that a few people died last year from food contaminated with salmonella and that drastic action was therefore necessary to protect the American public from unsafe food. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs added that the...
  • Drug Agents Raid SF Medical Marijuana Clinic (Haha, DEA thumbs Zero in the eye)

    03/25/2009 11:26:54 PM PDT · by LibWhacker · 51 replies · 1,460+ views
    CBS5 ^ | 3/25/09 | Joe Vazquez
    One week after President Barack Obama's top law enforcement official seemed to indicate the feds would no longer raid pot clubs, DEA agents busted a medical marijuana facility in San Francisco Wednesday night. As agents carried large plastic containers of marijuana plants out of Emmalyn's California Cannabis Clinic at 1597 Howard Street, a small crowd of protesters formed a gauntlet outside the door, booing the agents and chanting, "our medicine is marijuana … listen to Obama!" DEA spokeswoman Casey McEnry told CBS 5 the documents regarding the raid are sealed, so the DEA was not able to give any details....
  • President Chucklehead

    03/24/2009 4:37:39 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 55 replies · 2,113+ views
    Townhall.com ^ | March 24, 2009 | Lorie Byrd
    Last year during the presidential campaign, some comedians explained the reason there were so many more jokes being made on television about John McCain than Barack Obama was because nothing about Obama was funny.  The One was a bit too perfect and free of flaws to provide much fodder for joke writers.  Never mind that he had said there were 57 states.  Or that he frequently stammered through sections of speeches when his teleprompter malfunctioned.  Or any of the other mistakes he made.  Most of them received little media coverage and even less ridicule from comics.The New York Times even...
  • China to be granted 4 Senate Seats and 8 Congressional Seats in Return for Buying More U.S. Debt

    03/23/2009 11:00:33 AM PDT · by Scythian · 30 replies · 1,163+ views
    In a desperate behind the scenes closed door session the United States has granted China 4 Senate Seats and 8 Congressional Seats in return for China's buying yet another substantial amount of U.S. Debt. China, at this point, technically owns the deed to the United States and felt that it should have some say in what it's rentors are doing with it's property. More as information is reported. (Humor folks - as in Ha Ha, that was funny)
  • President George W. Bush Says "Let Them Eat Cake"

    03/19/2009 9:29:12 AM PDT · by big black dog · 63 replies · 2,416+ views
    In an amazing act of unconscionable hubris, in the midst of an economic crisis, President George W. Bush has decided to appear on the Tonight Show. That's right, the Tonight Show. Does he think he's Justin Timberlake? This is a callous waste of resources during a tough economic time. Millions of dollars will need to be spent to transport motorcades across the country, and establish security and accommodations for his entourage in this self indulgent display. Furthermore, our emperor has decided to declare himself tout in chief by blessing his unworthy subjects to his March Madness picks. As if we...
  • Sarah Palin Linked to Weapons Theft [It's SATIRE, folks!]

    12/28/2008 7:18:57 PM PST · by Oztrich Boy · 35 replies · 1,244+ views
    The Jawa Report ^ | December 28, 2008 | Mike Pechar
    Breaking News! (Wasilla, Alaska) Republican Gov. Sarah Palin is being named as a possible conspirator in a weapons theft case reportedly occurring several years ago....
  • Republicans surrender! From Baghdad Bob

    11/20/2008 9:54:25 AM PST · by Osama Obama · 6 replies · 505+ views
    The Wit Hits the Fan ^ | 11/20/08 | Baghdad Bob
    Let me place today needful comment upon the pitiful, washed-up members of the hateful Republican Party. Surrender. You have no hope. You are destined to become a mere useless fixture in history who’s time has come and has gone – much as the Whig Party or underarm deodorant.
  • I Am Appaled...

    11/05/2008 7:26:04 AM PST · by jessduntno · 163 replies · 7,187+ views
    A Day of Infamy | Myself
    I am appalled by some of the vitriol posted here. President-Elect B. Hussein Obama deserves the same respect that Democrats have given President Bush for the last eight years. I for one will try to re-double that amount of respect. I hope you will all join me...
  • Hayden Panettiere pokes fun at John McCain in new Funny or Die skit

    10/15/2008 10:52:28 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 21 replies · 1,159+ views
    http://www.nydailynews.com ^ | Wednesday, October 15th 2008, 12:35 PM
    Hayden Panettiere encourages Americans to vote for John McCain in a new Funnyordie.com spoof. Hayden Panettiere encourages Americans to vote for John McCain in a new Funnyordie.com spoof. Hayden Panettiere encourages Americans to vote for John McCain in a new faux PSA. Well ... kinda. "There are three things I think all citizens should do: Smoke cigarettes, vote for John McCain and don't wear a seatbelt," the "Heroes" star says in the 30-second spot. RELATED STORY: PARIS HILTON CALLS MCCAIN 'THE OLDEST CELEBRITY IN THE WORLD' "He's just like George Bush, except older and with a worse temper," the 19-year-old...
  • David Letterman

    09/28/2008 5:19:59 PM PDT · by BostonUSA · 19 replies · 707+ views
    Sept. 28, 2008 | BostonUSA
    I am sick of David Letterman and his little comments regarding John McCain. Doesn't the ignorant knat know that he's a war hero and deserves the upmost respect. Barrrack has celebrities that are backing him, have you seen them? They have no respect for themselves or this country. (P-Diddy for example), Barrrack need to back under a rock, then he can tell Bin Laden that John McCain isn't finished trying to find him. We're coming to getcha! After 9/11, if Bush didn't do what needed to be done, he would have gone down in history as a chicken President who...
  • Bullwinkle assassinated

    09/25/2008 3:21:46 PM PDT · by Peelod · 15 replies · 1,778+ views
    Explorations ^ | 9/25/08 | Charlie Martin
    NYT above the fold!!!!!
  • Spanish Hoops Squad Takes Its Eyes Off the Ball (Check this picture out!)

    08/11/2008 1:32:37 PM PDT · by BurbankKarl · 25 replies · 266+ views
    TMZ ^ | 8/11/08 | Basketball Jones
    The Spanish national basketball team, gold medal contenders at the Olympics in Beijing, was featured in a full page ad that shows the team pulling back at their eyes in a slanty-eyed gesture. According to the Guardian, the ad (which is for a freight company) ran in a Spanish newspaper.
  • Pre-Teens in Combat

    06/21/2008 9:10:09 AM PDT · by joeystoy · 7 replies · 91+ views
    Give N' Go ^ | 06/21/2008 | J. Martini
    In a dramatic report, the New York Times has uncovered a conspiracy by the United States military to conscript children. Posing as male nannies, bow-tie wearing Republicans wisk away infants as their single mothers fulfill their dreams in exciting careers away from the drudgery of traditional home-based chores. They then force these babies into combat zones and cover up their misdeeds with the complicity of the right-wing hate media. This conspiracy came to light in today's Times. Buried deep inside a front page story detailing how George W. Bush has personally foreclosed on millions of American homeowners in order to...
  • hilarious Bill Clinton name mix up (Clinton called Lincoln)

    03/14/2008 5:25:44 PM PDT · by NavyCanDo · 6 replies · 351+ views
    YouTube
    Mayor - introducing Bill Clinton as William Jefferson Lincoln
  • Butt Naked returns to Liberia to confess

    01/21/2008 8:53:32 AM PST · by 300magnum · 39 replies · 3,104+ views
    Associated Press ^ | JONATHAN PAYE-LAYLEH
    MONROVIA, Liberia - One of Liberia's most notorious rebel commanders, known as Gen. Butt Naked for charging into battle wearing only boots, has returned to confess his role in terrorizing the nation, saying he is responsible for 20,000 deaths. Joshua Milton Blahyi, who now lives in Ghana, returned last week to face his homeland's truth and reconciliation commission, this time wearing a suit and tie. His nom de guerre is derived from his platoon's practice of charging naked into battle, a technique meant to terrify the enemy. Other former warlords, though, have refused to ask forgiveness, dismissing a commission many...
  • Pelosi,and Murtha to hold news conference FOR impeachment due to Surge SUCCESS – (Unbelieveable)

    12/19/2007 4:41:09 PM PST · by GeorgiaDawg32 · 26 replies · 68+ views
    Me | 12/19/07 | GeorgiaDawg32
    It was learned today that Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and John Murtha (D-PA), will hold a joint news conference on Friday condemning President Bush and pushing for his impeachment due to the success of the Surge and an outbreak of cooperation between American troops and Iraqi citizens. Said a spokesperson, “The Democrat Party of the United States has been pushing for increased military involvement in Iraq for years; now that we have the majority, we must take credit for the success being enjoyed in Iraq and in the overall War on Terror. We firmly believe that had this administration taken our...
  • Kathy Griffin's Unfunny Jesus Jokes

    09/14/2007 4:53:10 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 149 replies · 3,385+ views
    Townhall.com ^ | September 14, 2007 | Brent Bozell III
    Nearly everyone with a television can make jokes about TV awards shows, especially the speech-making. How many times have people made the hoariest jokes about thanking the "little people," or mimicking Sally Field's Oscar speech: "You like me! You really like me!" But Kathy Griffin, the comedienne with the self-satirizing "My Life on the D-List" show on that D-list network Bravo, took the ritual to a new low when she won an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program. She mocked Jesus Christ. "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award," she declared. "I want you to...
  • September 13, 1944: Thomas Dewey's Reply To President Roosevelt's War Address

    09/13/2007 5:23:01 PM PDT · by Recovering_Democrat · 47 replies · 1,523+ views
    Good evening, gentlemen and ladies of America. I speak to you tonight as a patriot, and believe me, I do love our country and honor the servicemen fighting in foreign theatres of war. The plan we are currently pursuing in the theatres of Europe and the Pacific are clearly not working. The President, the generals and soldiers serving in the field may believe the mission is being accomplished, but the results show otherwise.Our President's foolish behavior in provoking our European enemies started by his signing of the "Lend Lease" bill back in 1941. Instead of trying to negotiate with...
  • A day in the life of Pres. Bush (4/22/07): news/pics from WH Correspondents Dinner (welcome back TS)

    04/22/2007 3:44:34 PM PDT · by Wolfstar · 218 replies · 3,944+ views
    PRESIDENTIAL NEWS OF THE DAY: President and Mrs. Bush spent the weekend in Washington where they attended the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner last night. The Washington Post described the President's appearance this way: The evening took a turn toward the somber when the President took the stage. After a videotaped message from David Letterman ("Top 10 George W. Bush Moments"), he said, "In light of this week's tragedy at Virginia Tech I've decided not to be funny." And with that he handed the lectern over to Rich Little. "I'm not here to make any political points," the veteran...
  • Al Sharpton Slams 240 Year Hate-Crime Sentence for Black Gunman (Satire)

    03/30/2007 11:10:26 AM PDT · by UnklGene · 15 replies · 579+ views
    Bongo News ^ | March 28, 2007 | Emma Dubin
    <p>NEW YORK — A judge has sentenced a black man to 240 years in prison for taking white hostages in a bar in Manhattan’s East Village and telling them that "white people are going to burn tonight."</p> <p>The man had been convicted of attempted murder and assault after he shot and wounded three people, including a police officer, and sprayed kerosene on several people and threatened to set them on fire. Two women caught the man off guard and tackled him, and a policeman shot him. The man had been carrying three pistols, a samurai sword and a container of kerosene, and he told police he had gone looking for happy white people to kill to avenge the mistreatment of blacks.</p>