UNLIKE YOU, I have options. A number of years ago I married an intelligent, blonde woman who spoke many languages, including one that sounded like the soundtrack from “Thor: Ragnarok.” It was gobbledygook to me, but she turned out to be Norwegian — imagine my luck! That’s right. Not only do we have the right to resettle in Donald Trump’s favorite white-bread country — Norway makes New Hampshire look like the Model UN — but Norway is also anxious to have us. We have been perusing a website called “New Beginnings in Ringerike,” which bills itself as a “recovery” program...