Free Republic

DETROIT - The sign on the toilet brush says it best: "Do not use for personal hygiene." That admonition was the winner of an anti-lawsuit group's contest for the wackiest consumer warning label of the year. The sponsor, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, says the goal is "to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products." The $500 first prize went to Ed Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ontario, who submitted the toilet-brush label. A $250 second prize went to Matt Johnson, of Naperville, Ill., for a label on a children's scooter that said,...

What highway road signs would look like in 20 years if the blues keep trying to dumb down the general public.

Last Updated: Sunday, 17 October, 2004, 13:40 GMT 14:40 UK Brown Ale to get 'warning labels' Newcastle Brown Ale will carry new labels from November Newcastle Brown Ale is to label its bottles and cans with information about the possible adverse effects of drinking. Brewer Scottish and Newcastle said the "additional consumer information" was not a health warning. But it follows calls for labels to carry warnings of the health risks of drinking, especially during pregnancy. Labels will read: "Responsible drinkers don't exceed the three to four units a day for men, two or three for women".The labels will...

Demands that alcoholic drinks should carry cigarette-style health warnings have been resisted by the government.Leaked details of the Alcohol Harm Reduction Strategy suggest that, as with smoking policy, the drinks trade will have a chance to show that self-regulation can work. Warning labels detailing the health risks of alcohol, as well as the number of alcohol units they contain, were among the proposals contained in consultations on the strategy. Home Secretary David Blunkett is among the Cabinet supporters of stricter controls on drinks manufacturers. However, those who have seen the draft report say the industry will be given the chance...

IF you are the kind of person who tries to save time by ironing his clothes without first taking them off or who attempts to use his hair dryer while sleeping, you will probably not "get" this column. By the same token, if a cinder block has recently fallen on your head, you will probably not "get" this column either. In fact, these two groups may consist of the same people. If you are like me and have a lot of spare time on your hands, you have probably noticed that product-warning labels are getting wackier and wackier. There was...

M-LAW ANNOUNCES WINNERS OF SEVENTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTEST Fishing lure which warns, "Harmful if swallowed," catches one of the top awards A five-inch fishing lure which sports three steel hooks and cautions users that it is, "Harmful if swallowed," has been identified as one of the nation's wackiest warning labels in an annual contest sponsored by a consumer watchdog group. The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in it's seventh year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, to reveal how lawsuits, and fear of lawsuits, have prompted many manufacturers to issue warnings against even obvious misuses of...

The head of the city schools librarians association told the Huntsville school board that requiring teachers to put a warning advisory on books would discourage reading and limit classroom discussion. School officials recently asked Huntsville teachers to examine novels and other reading assignments for controversial content. Teachers are supposed to mark the controversial books with an asterisk on the students' reading lists. Kimberley Jones, president of the librarians association, said the warning advisory conflicts with a school system policy that already allows parents to challenge a controversial book. The policy provides for a review process by a committee that usually...

The libs have pushed to get warning labels on darn near eveything - from refrigerators to cigarettes so that dumb consumers like us aren't fooled by ads. But, the biggest hosing we get is from the government. Let's extend these "information labels" to Congress. Each proposed legislation will be required to carry a "mattress tag" like this example Bill: Greenhouse gases Author: McCain-Lieberman Direct cost per household: $1536/yr Indirect* cost per household: $2889/yr Benefit per household: [cannot be calculatd] *Indirect costs include negative changes in the economy due to reduction in capital, incentive reduction, inefficiencies of income transfer, etc Better...

Smokers hit with shock tacticsBy Tom Noble Health Editor September 1, 2003 The type of warning used on cigarette packets in Canada. Cigarette packets will carry graphic, coloured health warnings featuring images such as lung disease and cancerous lips from mid-next year, the [Australian] Federal Government said yesterday. The parliamentary secretary to the Minister for Health and Ageing, Trish Worth, said tobacco companies had been told that the Canadian-style warning labels would replace existing health messages by July. Focus groups had tested 18 warnings, she said. The Government would decide which images were to be used by next month. "The...

FDA Removes Unappetizing Warning Label From Fake Fat Olestra By Lauran Neergaard, AP Medical Writer Snacks made with the fake fat olestra no longer will have to bear the unappetizing label that warned they might cause cramps and diarrhea. The Food and Drug Administration lifted the warning Friday, concluding that if the zero-calorie fat substitute has any stomach-troubling effect, it's mild and rare. The FDA approved olestra's sale in 1996, as long as packages bore labels spelling out possible gastrointestinal side effects. The synthetic chemical made of sugar and vegetable oil tastes like fat, but passes through the body...

Hey! Look out! Thanks for the warning. No. I'm against warnings, if you really want to know. What do you mean? Too many warnings. Warning signs and warning labels, all around us. The only warning I haven't seen is a warning to warn me that I'm about to be warned. Warn me if you ever see one of those. Something seems to have set you off. It's right here in the paper. They're even bringing up a new Act of Congress again. The National Food Choking Prevention Act. More warning labels. Somebody needs to tell us that food can choke...

In case you need proof that the human race is in series trouble because product manufacturers think we're stupid, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot...