Free Republic 3rd Quarter Fundraising Target: $88,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $29,554
Woo hoo!! And the first 33% is in!! Thank you all very much!! God bless.

Keyword: wins

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • The GREAT State of MO. TRUMP WINS! Certified number show a 365 vote increase

    03/29/2016 5:10:39 PM PDT · by Enlightened1 · 112 replies
    Twitter ^ | 03/29/16 | Donald Trump
        Donald J. Trump Verified account ‏@realDonaldTrump Final #'s just announced in the GREAT State of MO. TRUMP WINS! New certified #'s show a 365 vote increase for me- @ least 12 more delegates!  
  • Jerry Brown: If Trump Wins, Well Build a Wall Around California

    03/15/2016 6:56:48 AM PDT · by Texas Fossil · 85 replies
    Breitbart ^ | 15 Mar 2016 | Joel B. Pollak
    If Trump were ever elected, wed have to build a wall around California to defend ourselves from the rest of this country, he said at a dinner held in Sacramento by the California Labor Federation and State Building and Construction Trades Council of California, according to the Sacramento Bee. By the way that is a joke, he added. We dont like walls, we like bridges. Brown was touting the states economic progress, and the influx of young, talented tech workers though the state has experienced net out-migration for decades, especially of middle-class families. The governor blasted old white guys...
  • GOPe Hack Sununu: “If Trump Only Wins by 12 Points… He Lost” (VIDEO)

    02/08/2016 2:53:37 PM PST · by Enlightened1 · 61 replies
    Gateway Pundit ^ | 02/08/16 | Jim Hoft
    So this is the latest Republican establishment (GOPe) talking point… Former Governor John Sununu, a Jeb Bush supporter, told America’s Newsroom if Donald Trump only wins New Hampshire by 12 points he loses–Keep telling yourself that, John. “I think Trump will win. I don’t think he’ll win by as much as he thinks he is and as much as the polls say. If he doesn’t win by 12 points I think the perception will be that he lost.’
  • Trump-less Fox News Debate Gets Second Lowest Ratings for GOP (Half the Viewers of 1st Debate)

    01/29/2016 9:50:49 AM PST · by xzins · 66 replies
    newsmax ^ | 29 Jan 16
    The first Republican presidential debate of the season without front-runner Donald Trump generated smaller viewer interest than all but one of this cycle's prior GOP gatherings, according to preliminary Nielsen estimates — but still drew four times as many viewers as Trump's competing event. In the metered-market overnights, which represent 56 of the nation's largest markets, Fox News Channel's debate from Iowa averaged an 8.4 household rating. This is up vs. the 7.4 overnight rating for the most recent GOP debate, on Fox Business Network earlier this month, but it stands as the second lowest-rated of the six Republican gatherings...
  • Boehner Wins Re-Election With Less Than Majority Of House

    01/06/2015 1:41:29 PM PST · by Nachum · 41 replies
    Breitbart ^ | 1/6/15 | Matthew Boyle
    Only 216 Republicans voted to re-elect a humbled Ohio Republican Rep. John Boehner as Speaker of the U.S. House on Tuesday, as many Republicans voted for alternative candidates in the second organized attempt to unseat Boehner in as many speakership elections. He wins re-election as Speaker with less than a majority of the House, something that has happened only four times since 1917. A total of 25 Republicans in the chamber did not vote for Boehner, with 24 voting for alternative candidates and others who were not nominated and one voting present. Reps. Justin Amash (R-MI), Rod Blum (R-IA), Dave...
  • Faulconer wins mayor's race (San Diego Mayor)

    02/11/2014 11:57:19 PM PST · by South40 · 62 replies
    San Diego Union-Tribune ^ | 2/11/2014 | Craig Gustafson
    SAN DIEGO Republican City Councilman Kevin Faulconer defeated Democratic Councilman David Alvarez in the San Diego mayors race Tuesday night. Faulconer had 55.2 percent compared to Alvarezs 44.8 percent with 86 percent of the city's precincts counted. A jubilant Faulconer gave a speech to his supporters about 10:40 p.m. but stopped short of declaring victory. We know that this city has gone through a lot in the last year, but we knew that as San Diegans that we were better than that and that we were going to come together when we had the opportunity to do that and...
  • Obamacare wins: SCOTUS upholds individual mandate

    06/28/2012 7:52:54 AM PDT · by KeyLargo · 42 replies
    630wpro ^ | 6-28-2012
    Obamacare wins: SCOTUS upholds individual mandate Posted: 6/28/2012 10:21:48 AM The Supreme Court on Thursday upheld the individual insurance requirement at the heart of President Barack Obama's health care overhaul. The decision means the historic overhaul will continue to go into effect over the next several years, affecting the way that countless Americans receive and pay for their personal medical care. The ruling also handed Obama a campaign-season victory in rejecting arguments that Congress went too far in requiring most Americans to have health insurance or pay a penalty. Chief Justice John Roberts announced the court's judgment that allows the...
  • Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi wins by-election: NLD party

    04/01/2012 2:44:24 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 8 replies
    BBC News ^ | 4/1/12 | BBC
    Burma's Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi has won a by-election for parliament, her party says, after a landmark vote that saw 45 seats contested. Ms Suu Kyi's opposition National League for Democracy (NLD) said she had easily won in Kawhmu. Official results are not expected until later in the week. In a statement, she urged supporters to show restraint in their celebrations. The vote is a key test of political reforms, though the army and its allies dominate the 664-seat parliament. The NLD was competing in its first elections since 1990. 'Dignified' Thousands of people who gathered outside the...
  • Not the smartest winner on the planet.. Lottery winner +pics...on twitter!!

    03/31/2012 6:57:01 AM PDT · by OL Hickory · 29 replies ^ | 3-31-2012 |
    March 31, 2012: Last night ONE PERSON won the $650 MILLION Mega Millions Lottery . . . and one woman took to Twitter to BRAG about winning. The woman, a model named Melissa claims that SHE WON - and she posted pics of her lottery ticket.
  • Newt Gingrich PUMMELS Juan Williams at GOP South Carolina Debate (Video)

    01/16/2012 8:47:20 PM PST · by Servant of the Cross · 57 replies
    GatewayPundit ^ | 1/16/2012 | Jim Hoft
    Sorry Juan. Race card denied. Juan Williams got booed and then pummeled by Newt Gingrich tonight. Newt Gingrich pummeled Juan Williams tonight after the FOX contributor accused the former Speaker of using the food stamp issue to attack minorities. This was awesome.
  • Herman Cain wins GOP Florida straw poll; Rick Perry in second place

    09/25/2011 8:43:34 AM PDT · by Dubya-M-DeesWent2SyriaStupid! · 56 replies ^ | SEPTEMBER 26, 2011 | Seth McLaughlin
    ORLANDO, Fla. Former Godfathers Pizza CEO Herman Cain won the Presidency 5 straw poll here Saturday, delivering a blow to Texas Gov. Rick Perrys front-runner status and a victory for a candidate who has struggled to transform his grass-roots popularity into strong showings in national polls. Tonights winner is Herman Cain, Florida Gov. Rick Scott announced. It shows you something: The road to the White House comes through Florida, and it pays to spend time here. Mr. Cain received 37 percent of the more than 2,600 votes cast. Thank you to the Republican voters for this incredible honor of...
  • KOCH WINS! Wisconsin Recall Election Results GOP Holds Districts 2, 10, 14 & 8! Retain Senate!!

    08/09/2011 9:57:01 PM PDT · by Nachum · 40 replies · 1+ views
    Gateway Pundit ^ | 8/9/11 | Jim Hoft
    Six Republican state senators face a recall vote today in Wisconsin. Two senate Fleebaggers face recall elections next week. Democrats need to pick up three seats to gain control of the Wisconsin senate. By the way, a liberal Chicago donor sent $200,000 to fund the far left recall candidates. The turnout was heavy today. JS Online has election results. The AP also has election results UPDATE: Its unlikely that democrats will win District 2 or District 10. The Republicans are too far ahead with nearly half the precincts reporting. State Senate District 2 General August 09, 2011 ...
  • Argentina's Jewish community wins injunction against Google over anti-Semitic websites

    05/18/2011 9:23:27 AM PDT · by Nachum · 4 replies
    haaretz ^ | 5/18/11 | Haaretz Service
    DAIA request for the injunction lists some 76 websites which it says are 'highly discriminatory,' including some which deny the Holocaust. The umbrella organization of Argentina's Jewish community, DAIA, has won an injunction against Google, preventing the world's most popular search engine from "suggesting" anti-Semitic and racist websites to its users. The presiding judge at the Buenos Aires court, Dr. Molina Portela, also ruled that Google cannot run adverts on these websites, which are illegal under Argentine law. The DAIA request for the injunction listed some 76 websites which it described as "highly discriminatory," including some which deny the Holocaust...
  • Vote canvassing results show Prosser won Supreme Court race

    04/15/2011 1:01:26 PM PDT · by ThinkingBuddha · 79 replies
    Wisconsin State Journal ^ | 04.15/2011 | Associated Press
    Results from Wisconsin counties show a conservative state Supreme Court justice has won re-election in a race seen as a referendum on Republican Gov. Scott Walker's divisive union rights law. County tallies show Justice David Prosser defeated JoAnne Kloppenburg by 7,316 votes. State election officials must review those numbers before declaring an official winner. They say they won't start that process until Kloppenburg has a chance to request a recount. She has until Wednesday. Kloppenburg, a little-known state attorney, got a boost after supporters worked to turn anger over the union law against Prosser. The race was too close to...
  • Michele Bachmann wins Liberty University Awakening straw poll

    04/12/2011 3:43:24 AM PDT · by Dubya-M-DeesWent2SyriaStupid! · 76 replies ^ | 4/11/11 6:55 PM EDT Updated: 4/11/11 7:18 PM EDT Read more: | KENDRA MARR
    Michele Bachmann won a straw poll held at a conservative conference this weekend. | AP photo Michele Bachmann scored a victory in a straw poll held at a conservative conference over the weekend. The Minnesota congresswoman won 23 percent of the vote from attendees of The Awakening 2011, a gathering at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. Though she was scheduled to address attendees, Bachmann sent a video message instead while she remained in Washington because of the potential government shutdown. Mike Huckabee came in a close second place, taking 23 percent. Newt Gingrich, who actually spoke to the conferences...
  • Rahm Emanuel wins Chicago mayoral vote

    02/22/2011 6:25:52 PM PST · by Stayfrosty · 145 replies
    CNN ^ | 2-22-2011 | CNN political Unit
    (CNN) - Rahm Emanuel, the former chief of staff to President Barack Obama, won the Chicago mayoral election Tuesday, topping the 50% threshold to avoid a run-off vote, CNN projects.
  • Politico calls PA Senate for Toomey, Another Tea Party Senator!!

    11/02/2010 9:12:10 PM PDT · by Steelers6 · 26 replies
    Politico ^ | November 2, 2010 | steelers6
    Way to go Pat, Spector finally gets his reward.
  • Paul Wins; GOP Takes Indiana Seat

    11/02/2010 4:35:28 PM PDT · by Nachum · 6 replies
    Associated Press ^ | 11/2/10 | Mike Hammer
    Republican Rand Paul, a tea party favorite, has been elected to the Senate from Kentucky in his first run for office. The son of libertarian congressman Ron Paul defeated Democrat Jack Conway. Republicans have captured the first of what they hope will be several Senate seats that were held by Democrats with the victory of Dan Coats in Indiana. The veteran lawmaker returns to Washington in the seat that was held by retiring Democrat Evan Bayh. South Carolina Republican Jim DeMint, as expected, has won re-election to the Senate, defeating Democrat Alvin Greene.
  • Netanyahu Wins Vote to Delay Party Elections

    04/29/2010 6:02:15 PM PDT · by Nachum · 8 replies · 252+ views
    inn ^ | 4/29/10 | Hillel Fendel
    Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu has won a critical vote in the Likud, giving him the right to postpone party primaries for 20 months. Over three-quarters, 77%, of Likud Central Committee voters were reported to have voted for his proposal postponing party primaries until 2011. The vote represented a significant, possibly fatal loss for the Manhigut Yehudit (Jewish Leadership) faction, headed by Moshe Feiglin, which had attempted to convince voters that postponing the elections would lead to the division of Jerusalem.
  • Hawaii House Race: Turf Fight in Paradise

    04/08/2010 10:04:35 AM PDT · by Maelstorm · 11 replies · 456+ views ^ | 04/8/10 |
    The Hawaiian word kuleana roughly translates to turf, as in, "stay off my turf!" Gangs fight over turf, and so do politicians. It turns out that an internecine Democratic turf battle may just help elect the first Republican to the U.S. Congress from Hawaii in two decades. The last Republican to hold the seat was former school teacher Pat Saiki, who left the House in 1990 and who now chairs the campaign of the Republican who is trying to change that trend, Honolulu City Councilman Charles Djou. He may be sitting in a good spot in a year Republicans hope...
  • National Democrats Pour Money Into Hawaii To Prevent Republican Djou From Winning Congressional Seat

    04/08/2010 9:50:58 AM PDT · by Maelstorm · 10 replies · 811+ views ^ | April 8, 2010 | Denby Fawcett KITV 4 News Reporter
    HONOLULU -- The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee's TV commercial slams Republican candidate Charles Djou, questioning his credibility on the jobs issue. Here is the wording of the commercial: "In the race for congress you have heard a lot about Charles Djou so it is best to check the record. On jobs, Djou signed a pledge that protects tax breaks for companies that send jobs overseas. With more than 43,000 people in Hawaii looking for work, Djou still supports tax breaks for big corporations that would export our future. Take a closer look at Djou's troubling record on jobs at
  • Accused Vt. town clerk cruises to re-election

    03/02/2010 12:52:42 PM PST · by JimVT · 20 replies · 516+ views ^ | 03/0210 | WCAX
    The town clerk in Coventry, Vermont has been re-elected to another term even tho she faces tax evasion charges for the past several years. Before she became town clerk she was also charged with embezzling $20Gs from her former employer. Those charges were dropped after she was caught and paid the money back
  • GE wins $1.4 billion wind farm contract

    12/10/2009 2:00:36 PM PST · by Nachum · 17 replies · 765+ views ^ | 12/10/09 | Candace Lombardi
    Power company Caithness Energy has given General Electric a $1.4 billion contract to supply wind turbines and 10 years' worth of maintenance for an Oregon wind farm, GE announced Thursday. The massive 845-megawatt wind farm, Shepherds Flat, will be located near Arlington, Oregon, but span approximately 30 square miles and cover parts of Oregon's Gilliam and Morrow Counties. GE estimates that it will supply 338 of its 2.5-megawatt wind turbine models to be installed between 2011 and 2012. Although they have been used in Europe and Asia, the company says the Shepherds Flat project will include the first U.S. installations...
  • White House: Tuesday's GOP wins not about Obama

    11/04/2009 8:22:11 AM PST · by NormsRevenge · 169 replies · 5,266+ views
    AP on Yahoo ^ | 11/4/09 | AP
    WASHINGTON The White House says that Republican wins in two governors' races were not referendums on the president. White House press secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters Wednesday that voters went to the polls in Virginia and New Jersey to work through "very local issues that didn't involve the president." The presidential spokesman said voters were concerned about the economy. "I don't think the president needed an election or an exit poll to come to that conclusion," Gibbs said. By contrast, Gibbs acknowledged that the 2010 midterm congressional elections will be more about the Obama agenda.
  • Thank you Lord for New Jerseyans and Virginians!

    11/03/2009 7:28:43 PM PST · by BlackFemaleConservative · 31 replies · 1,002+ views
    Thank you, Lord! We are finally bringing our country back from the brink of socialism.
  • WaPo: Nobel for Obama Brings Praise, Ire - Surprise Award May Prove Mixed Blessing

    10/10/2009 4:10:21 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 14 replies · 1,228+ views
    The Washington Post ^ | October 10, 2009 | Scott Wilson
    President Obama on Friday won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, bringing the relatively novice leader a new measure of prestige on the world stage but also potential complications in carrying out a foreign policy that includes managing two wars. In making Obama the third sitting U.S. president to win the prize, the Norwegian Nobel Committee praised the president's cooperative approach to global issues, a clear rebuke of the Bush administration's aversion to international organizations and treaties. The prize comes after Obama has been in office less than nine months, and as he decides whether to send additional combat troops to...
  • A prize thats also for us [Dear Leader's Nobel Prize] (If you don't hurl, you didn't read it)

    10/10/2009 3:35:19 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 15 replies · 1,024+ views
    The Boston Globe ^ | October 10, 2009 | Derrick Z. Jackson
    MY FIRST three thoughts upon hearing that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize were: ■ For what!?!? ■ So this is how low our image sunk under President Bush? ■ This is our Nobel! Even the most fervent Obama supporters have to scratch their heads. The Nobel Committee praised Obama’s “extraordinary efforts’’ on international diplomacy and cooperation, citing his nascent efforts to reduce nuclear weapons and America’s “more constructive role’’ on climate change. The committee said Obama had become “the world’s leading spokesman’’ for international policies the committee has sought to “stimulate’’ for 108 years. Talk about giving...
  • Now Everyone Can Have A Nobel Peace Prize (Satire by The People's Cube)

    10/10/2009 9:32:50 AM PDT · by DogByte6RER · 9 replies · 842+ views
    The People's Cube ^ | 10/9/2009, | Superkommissar Maksim
    Do you miss those days in Little League when everyone received a trophy no matter how poorly you played? Now glory can be yours, for the Nobel Peace Prize is within reach of even the most incompetent fools. Just open a box of Cracker Jack.
  • BREAKNG NEWS! Obama is 10th Caller- Wins Concert Tickets

    10/09/2009 9:00:25 PM PDT · by Mr. K · 3 replies · 552+ views
    Someone I know said so ^ | Every Day | The People
    Obambi takes another grand prize!

    10/09/2009 1:26:57 PM PDT · by B-Chan · 8 replies · 537+ views
    The Media ^ | 2009.10.09 | Barack M.Fing Obama
    At a word from President Barack M.Fing Obama, slain U.S. President John F. Kennedy emerged alive at dawn today from his tomb at Arlington National Cemetery. The assassinated former President, who appeared alongside the Dear Leader at a press conference in Washington, D.C. late this morning, quipped that he was "rested and ready, but not necessarily tanned" after nearly 46 years in the grave. The Dear Leader modestly declined to comment on Kennedy's miraculous resurrection. However, he did announce that the former president's younger brother, Sen. Robert F. Kennedy (D-MA), had also been resurrected by his command after more than...
  • Breaking: Pope Benedict crowns Obama "Holy Roman Emperor"

    10/09/2009 10:04:25 AM PDT · by Alter Kaker · 35 replies · 2,311+ views
    The Vatican ^ | Today | me
    In a surprise move, Pope Benedict XVI crowned US President Barack Obama "Holy Roman Emperor" today in a rose garden ceremony.In a statement, the Pope said "Emperor Obama follows in the footsteps of Charlemagne and the Emperor Constantine."In other news, Chinese Premier Hu Jintao announced plans to restore the Qing dynasty, saying that Barack Obama -- a direct descendant of the last Manchu Emperor -- would be China's new Emperor.However, Turkish officials were quick to deny widely published reports of a restoration of the Byzantine Empire. "Turks wiped out the Byzantines in 1453. There are simply no Byzantines here for...
  • Breaking: Obama grants absolution to Pope Benedict XVI

    10/09/2009 11:51:06 AM PDT · by RavenATB · 4 replies · 259+ views
    New Abortion Times
    Pope visibly moved when POTUS granted the Pontiff forgiveness for leading Catholic opposition to abortion. Promises "It'll never happen again..."
  • White Smoke over Vatican, Cardinals Elect Obama as Pope!

    10/09/2009 10:03:13 AM PDT · by Rebelbase · 13 replies · 1,427+ views
    Hypothetical Vatican News ^ | 10/9/09 | Varios
    VATICAN CITY: White smoke billowed from the the chimney of the election hall this morning signaling the time honored tradition of notifying the world a new Pope has been elected. By a unanimous first round vote a hastily called session of the Vatican Council, Barak Obama has been elected Pope of the Catholic Church. "He's our best hope for world peace and bringing unity and hope to oppressed people in the world", said an unnamed Vatican spokesperson. Replaced Pope Benedict XVI was said to be in seclusion and unavailable for comment. World reaction is said to be both elation and...
  • Please, let's ease up on vanity threads

    10/09/2009 3:33:37 PM PDT · by Admin Moderator · 93 replies · 2,417+ views
    FR | Control Freak Mod
    <p>It was fun, but there are plenty of active threads on Obama's Nobel prize joke. Bandwidth doesn't come cheap. Thanks for your cooperation. Freep on!</p>
  • Barack Obama Wins 2009 Nobel Peace Prize and...

    10/09/2009 3:18:57 PM PDT · by EveningStar · 5 replies · 803+ views
    YouTube ^ | October 9, 2009 | ReasonTV
    If the world was stunned to learn that President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, it will be even more amazed by all the awards that are still coming his way. A Rapid Response video. Approximately two minutes. Written and produced by Meredith Bragg and Nick Gillespie.
  • "Day of Accolades" for President Obama

    10/09/2009 2:59:05 PM PDT · by Senator Pardek · 23 replies · 1,454+ views
    Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize, Cy Young AwardsOh hell no!! Obama wins Ms. California title!Obama wins HEISMAN TROPHYBreaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news)BREAKING: Obama Wins Dancing with the Stars Trophy - Rest of Season Cancelled BREAKING! obama wins "American Idol"Barack Obama Wins Indianapolis 500!BREAKING: Obama Wins All Events at 2012 Olympics!Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010Barack Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!! Barack Obama becomes New Santa ClauseBarack obama Wins KENTUCKY DERBY !!!!!BREAKING: BARACK OBAMA WINS IDITAROD!!!!Breaking: Obama named Time's Man of the Year for the last 20 and the next...
  • Obama Outruns Usain Bolt, Defeats Tiger Woods, Wins Soap Box Derby, Breaks For Lunch

    10/09/2009 11:38:37 AM PDT · by WestTexasWend · 3 replies · 289+ views
    Keith Olbermann
    Afternoon to be devoted to finding Atlantis, Lost Tribes of Israel, inventing perpetual motion machine.
  • BREAKING:President Obama receives Cong. Medal of Honor w/Golden Oak Leaves,Swords,& Diamonds!

    10/09/2009 11:08:44 AM PDT · by tophat9000 · 3 replies · 246+ views
    BREAKING: President Obama to receive Congressional Medal of Honor with Golden Oak Leaves, Swords, and Diamonds!, new highest award created exclusively for President Obama
  • Obama signs Declaration of Independence; puts his "Hancock" above John's

    10/09/2009 2:35:04 PM PDT · by skully · 5 replies · 374+ views
    vanity | 10/9/09 | skully
    President Obama signed the Declaration of Independence today, making it official; the colonies are no longer part of England. After signing his name in big purple crayon just above John Hancock's, the President was quoted as saying: "Since 1776 America wasn't officially America, until I signed this document today. Now that my signature has made America officially a nation, I can now implement my policies designed to destroy it. It would have been tough to destroy a country that didn't officially exist until today." October 9 will now replace July 4 as the official birthday for America. When asked what...
  • OBAMA Wins National Spelling Bee

    10/09/2009 2:36:06 PM PDT · by gorilla_warrior · 7 replies · 633+ views
    Vanity | gorilla_warrior
    For the first time, the national spelling bee championship was decided by choosing the African-American US President with the best pronunciation while reading from a teleprompter. "Spelling isn't just getting the letters in correct order" said a spokesperson "it also has to do with the sum of your life experiences".
  • BREAKING!!! Panel discovers that "Bridge To Nowhere" ACTUALLY leads to Obama!

    10/09/2009 2:37:20 PM PDT · by Mr. Jazzy · 4 replies · 575+ views
    ME | Me
    A group of renowned world leaders have discovered that the previously known "Bridge To Nowhere" actually leads directly to Obama! This shocking discovery was made by a collective of physicists, governmental analysts and folks standing in line outside of Cobo Hall in Detroit waiting for their stimulus money from Obama's "stash"! Researchers had previously denied that the bridge went anywhere, but since the Nobel Committee announcement, Obama is the center of the entire universe, it became obvious to all that this bridge MUST in fact lead to Obama. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, when reached on the satellite phone in...
  • Thank You For Posting All Of The "Obama Wins...." Threads

    10/09/2009 2:41:19 PM PDT · by Bushbacker1 · 23 replies · 997+ views | 10/9/09 | Bushbacker1
    Thank you!
  • Breaking News: Obama finds Waldo

    10/09/2009 12:57:40 PM PDT · by LukeL · 5 replies · 579+ views
    Obama finds Waldo!!
  • BREAKING: Pillsbury Bake-Off prize goes to Obama!

    10/09/2009 12:58:31 PM PDT · by workerbee · 6 replies · 957+ views
    Absurd Times | Oct. 9, 2009 | Me
    The winning entry:
  • BREAKING: NASA reveals Obama was first man on the Moon - Photo Release

    10/09/2009 12:36:55 PM PDT · by PanzerKardinal · 11 replies · 1,739+ views
    NASA spokesperson Rachel McDonald stated in a press conference today, that President Barack Obama was the first man to step on the Moon. McDonald stated, "Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man to step on the Moon but was instead the President." She followed, "The first words he uttered were FIRE IT UP...READY TO GO!" FIRE IT UP .... READY TO GO!
  • Obama Discovers the Higgs Boson, Life on Mars, and the Lost Continent of Atlantis!

    10/09/2009 12:37:12 PM PDT · by swain_forkbeard · 5 replies · 425+ views
    In a stunning trifecta, Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States for life, Nobel peace prize winner and elegant husband of stylish Michelle, laid to rest three enduring mysteries from the diverse disciplines of quantum physics, the search for extra-terrestrial life, and the meaning of Plato's dialogues. And he did it all before enjoying a healthy and low carbon footprint...
  • This Just In... Obama Wins the America's Cup Without a Boat.

    10/09/2009 12:37:17 PM PDT · by Illuminatas · 14 replies · 878+ views
    Today off the coast of Nantucket, Pres. Barack Hussein Obama won the America's Cup Yahct Race. Making his win even more historic were the facts that this is an off year for the Cup race and that Pres. Obama won the race without a yacht. "Seeing Pres. Obama out there just sprinting across the waves is just so inspiring.", said Buffy White, "I just love the fact that this will inspire many black inner city youths." Pres. Obama was unavailable for comment after the race, but White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said, "Pres Obama is extremely busy now with the...
  • Obama successfully negotiates with the Japanese for the release of 112 year old Amelia Earhart....

    10/09/2009 12:38:11 PM PDT · by Vaquero · 14 replies · 709+ views
    today | self
    Obama successfully negotiates with the Japanese for the release of 112 year old Amelia Earhart....Ms. Earhart today......
  • Obama Replaces Lennon and Harrison, Reunites the Beatles!

    10/09/2009 12:43:03 PM PDT · by Rocko · 6 replies · 602+ views
    My semi-fertile brain ^ | 10/09/2009 | My semi-fertile brain
    Of course!
  • Breaking: Obama convinces Chuck Norris to abandon his tough guy ways.

    10/09/2009 12:43:03 PM PDT · by tosh · 13 replies · 705+ views
    The Standard | 10/09/2009 | Varous
    Obama, fresh off his Nobel Prize Victory awarded for his diplomatic successes in extending his hand to dictators and despots throughout the world shifted his celebrated persuasive power to another rogue individual, conservative Chuck Norris. Norris, who has been said to sleep with a night light, not because he is afraid of the dark but the dark is afraid of him and who frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just not his own, was brazen at first when Obama approached. Observers stated that Obama was just a millisecond away from receiving one of Norriss patented roundhouse kicks, a blow,...