Free Republic

Power company Caithness Energy has given General Electric a $1.4 billion contract to supply wind turbines and 10 years' worth of maintenance for an Oregon wind farm, GE announced Thursday. The massive 845-megawatt wind farm, Shepherds Flat, will be located near Arlington, Oregon, but span approximately 30 square miles and cover parts of Oregon's Gilliam and Morrow Counties. GE estimates that it will supply 338 of its 2.5-megawatt wind turbine models to be installed between 2011 and 2012. Although they have been used in Europe and Asia, the company says the Shepherds Flat project will include the first U.S. installations...

WASHINGTON – The White House says that Republican wins in two governors' races were not referendums on the president. White House press secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters Wednesday that voters went to the polls in Virginia and New Jersey to work through "very local issues that didn't involve the president." The presidential spokesman said voters were concerned about the economy. "I don't think the president needed an election or an exit poll to come to that conclusion," Gibbs said. By contrast, Gibbs acknowledged that the 2010 midterm congressional elections will be more about the Obama agenda.

Thank you, Lord! We are finally bringing our country back from the brink of socialism.

President Obama on Friday won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, bringing the relatively novice leader a new measure of prestige on the world stage but also potential complications in carrying out a foreign policy that includes managing two wars. In making Obama the third sitting U.S. president to win the prize, the Norwegian Nobel Committee praised the president's cooperative approach to global issues, a clear rebuke of the Bush administration's aversion to international organizations and treaties. The prize comes after Obama has been in office less than nine months, and as he decides whether to send additional combat troops to...

MY FIRST three thoughts upon hearing that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize were: ■ For what!?!? ■ So this is how low our image sunk under President Bush? ■ This is our Nobel! Even the most fervent Obama supporters have to scratch their heads. The Nobel Committee praised Obama’s “extraordinary efforts’’ on international diplomacy and cooperation, citing his nascent efforts to reduce nuclear weapons and America’s “more constructive role’’ on climate change. The committee said Obama had become “the world’s leading spokesman’’ for international policies the committee has sought to “stimulate’’ for 108 years. Talk about giving...

Do you miss those days in Little League when everyone received a trophy no matter how poorly you played? Now glory can be yours, for the Nobel Peace Prize is within reach of even the most incompetent fools. Just open a box of Cracker Jack.

Obambi takes another grand prize!

At a word from President Barack M.Fing Obama, slain U.S. President John F. Kennedy emerged alive at dawn today from his tomb at Arlington National Cemetery. The assassinated former President, who appeared alongside the Dear Leader at a press conference in Washington, D.C. late this morning, quipped that he was "rested and ready, but not necessarily tanned" after nearly 46 years in the grave. The Dear Leader modestly declined to comment on Kennedy's miraculous resurrection. However, he did announce that the former president's younger brother, Sen. Robert F. Kennedy (D-MA), had also been resurrected by his command after more than...

In a surprise move, Pope Benedict XVI crowned US President Barack Obama "Holy Roman Emperor" today in a rose garden ceremony.In a statement, the Pope said "Emperor Obama follows in the footsteps of Charlemagne and the Emperor Constantine."In other news, Chinese Premier Hu Jintao announced plans to restore the Qing dynasty, saying that Barack Obama -- a direct descendant of the last Manchu Emperor -- would be China's new Emperor.However, Turkish officials were quick to deny widely published reports of a restoration of the Byzantine Empire. "Turks wiped out the Byzantines in 1453. There are simply no Byzantines here for...

Pope visibly moved when POTUS granted the Pontiff forgiveness for leading Catholic opposition to abortion. Promises "It'll never happen again..."

VATICAN CITY: White smoke billowed from the the chimney of the election hall this morning signaling the time honored tradition of notifying the world a new Pope has been elected. By a unanimous first round vote a hastily called session of the Vatican Council, Barak Obama has been elected Pope of the Catholic Church. "He's our best hope for world peace and bringing unity and hope to oppressed people in the world", said an unnamed Vatican spokesperson. Replaced Pope Benedict XVI was said to be in seclusion and unavailable for comment. World reaction is said to be both elation and...

<p>It was fun, but there are plenty of active threads on Obama's Nobel prize joke. Bandwidth doesn't come cheap. Thanks for your cooperation. Freep on!</p>

If the world was stunned to learn that President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, it will be even more amazed by all the awards that are still coming his way. A Reason.tv Rapid Response video. Approximately two minutes. Written and produced by Meredith Bragg and Nick Gillespie.

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize, Cy Young AwardsOh hell no!! Obama wins Ms. California title!Obama wins HEISMAN TROPHYBreaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news)BREAKING: Obama Wins Dancing with the Stars Trophy - Rest of Season Cancelled BREAKING! obama wins "American Idol"Barack Obama Wins Indianapolis 500!BREAKING: Obama Wins All Events at 2012 Olympics!Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010Barack Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!! Barack Obama becomes New Santa ClauseBarack obama Wins KENTUCKY DERBY !!!!!BREAKING: BARACK OBAMA WINS IDITAROD!!!!Breaking: Obama named Time's Man of the Year for the last 20 and the next...

Afternoon to be devoted to finding Atlantis, Lost Tribes of Israel, inventing perpetual motion machine.

BREAKING: President Obama to receive Congressional Medal of Honor with Golden Oak Leaves, Swords, and Diamonds!, new highest award created exclusively for President Obama

President Obama signed the Declaration of Independence today, making it official; the colonies are no longer part of England. After signing his name in big purple crayon just above John Hancock's, the President was quoted as saying: "Since 1776 America wasn't officially America, until I signed this document today. Now that my signature has made America officially a nation, I can now implement my policies designed to destroy it. It would have been tough to destroy a country that didn't officially exist until today." October 9 will now replace July 4 as the official birthday for America. When asked what...

For the first time, the national spelling bee championship was decided by choosing the African-American US President with the best pronunciation while reading from a teleprompter. "Spelling isn't just getting the letters in correct order" said a spokesperson "it also has to do with the sum of your life experiences".

A group of renowned world leaders have discovered that the previously known "Bridge To Nowhere" actually leads directly to Obama! This shocking discovery was made by a collective of physicists, governmental analysts and folks standing in line outside of Cobo Hall in Detroit waiting for their stimulus money from Obama's "stash"! Researchers had previously denied that the bridge went anywhere, but since the Nobel Committee announcement, Obama is the center of the entire universe, it became obvious to all that this bridge MUST in fact lead to Obama. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, when reached on the satellite phone in...

Thank you!

Obama finds Waldo!!

The winning entry:

NASA spokesperson Rachel McDonald stated in a press conference today, that President Barack Obama was the first man to step on the Moon. McDonald stated, "Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man to step on the Moon but was instead the President." She followed, "The first words he uttered were FIRE IT UP...READY TO GO!" FIRE IT UP .... READY TO GO!

In a stunning trifecta, Barrack Hussein Obama, President of the United States for life, Nobel peace prize winner and elegant husband of stylish Michelle, laid to rest three enduring mysteries from the diverse disciplines of quantum physics, the search for extra-terrestrial life, and the meaning of Plato's dialogues. And he did it all before enjoying a healthy and low carbon footprint...

Today off the coast of Nantucket, Pres. Barack Hussein Obama won the America's Cup Yahct Race. Making his win even more historic were the facts that this is an off year for the Cup race and that Pres. Obama won the race without a yacht. "Seeing Pres. Obama out there just sprinting across the waves is just so inspiring.", said Buffy White, "I just love the fact that this will inspire many black inner city youths." Pres. Obama was unavailable for comment after the race, but White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said, "Pres Obama is extremely busy now with the...

Obama successfully negotiates with the Japanese for the release of 112 year old Amelia Earhart....Ms. Earhart today......

Of course!

Obama, fresh off his Nobel Prize Victory awarded for his diplomatic successes in extending his hand to dictators and despots throughout the world shifted his celebrated persuasive power to another rogue individual, conservative Chuck Norris. Norris, who has been said to sleep with a night light, not because he is afraid of the dark but the dark is afraid of him and who frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just not his own, was brazen at first when Obama approached. Observers stated that Obama was just a millisecond away from receiving one of Norris’s patented roundhouse kicks, a blow,...

Please stop. I've recently recommended FR to several people and if this is their first visit to FR well it makes me and everyone on here look like an ASS! Stop it already.

(HGTV) In a startling twist of events, Barack Obama (President, Community Organizer) has been chosen to take over broadcast duties at the famed EIB Network leaving ex-host Rush Limbaugh without employment. Limbaugh is expected to protest this development outside a Florida pharmacy. When asked for a comment, President Obama had his guards arrest the dissenter.

Woken up at 6 a.m. to be told that He had just won the Cannabis Cup, and as shocked as everyone else at the news, United States President Barack Obama was humble in his words to the press. "I knew there was something special about this White House lawn," the seedmaster said, "With over two centuries of well cared for soil, I wanted to test my own special blend." Replacing the White House Rose Garden with what Obama told his family were "African-American Sunflowers", the recently harvested crop took this years Cup hands down and over easy. "I am humbled,"...

Using skills never before seen, President Barak Obama defied the odds at the McDonald's scrathers game by winning a meduim Coke. ""I am both surprised and deeply humbled by this" he explained.

Present Barack Hussein Obama declared today that he has surrendered the war in Afghanistan to the Taliban as a token gesture of peace to the world. The Present stated that he will usher in a new era of peace around the globe and will no longer stand for conflicts in any part of the world for any reason. Obama also notified the UN that he will assume the position of Present of the World effective immediately. The news of surrender in Afghanistan to the Taliban sent shockwaves throughout the tribal regions of the Afgan/Pak border areas with some saying that...

AP: OSLO, Norway. A woman who was troubled with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind Obama through security today, and touched the hem of his garment. The woman claimed that she said within herself: "If I shall touch only his garment, I shall be healed." And Obama, turning and seeing her, said, "Be of good heart, daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour." In response, Obama was granted the Nobel Prize in Medicine.

The former home run king of major league baseball has graciously conceded his title to zero. "It's the least I could do", said Bonds in a telephone interview earlier today from his palatial home in San Francisco. "Even though he throws like a girl, I just know he has 800 home runs in him". No word yet from Hammerin' Hank or The Babe.

Imagine an onion ring that's so big you could fit the planet Earth inside it - 1 billion times! Well, according to scientists, that's the size of the previously unknown ring that's just been discovered around the planet Saturn. Only the scientists say this ring is made up of dust and ice particles - not onions. "This is one super-sized ring," said University of Virginia astronomer Anne Verbiscer. It's been approximately 400 years since the legendary astronomer Galileo first identified the rings around Saturn. So why are scientists discovering this new ring only now? The reason, they say, is that...

President Obama amazed fans, today, by not only completing but winning the Professional Bowlers Association, but the Professional Golfers Association Campionships, with a single ball. After watching "The One" vanquish his opponents on the links fans thousands of adoring fans and spectators packed Taylor Lanes to see the POTIS roll a series of perfect games, with a golf ball. When asked how such an incredible accomplishment was possible, President Obama said, "Well, I've been playing with one ball since I was a young man. When one ball's all you've got you learn to make the most of it."

When asked for comment, BHO replied "It's a major award!"

In a breathtaking decision, the Black Angus Growers Association of America awarded 0bama with it's Grand Marshall position in 2010's parade. The postion is usually at the head of the parade and the Grand Marshall rides a Black Angus for the entire 20 mile parade route through rural Wyoming.

In a yet another surprise today, the IOC convened an emergency meeting to retroactively reconsider the Chicago bid for the 2016 Olympics. After some deliberation, the committee chair stated "We clearly did not properly consider the magnitude of the US President's awesomeness. Taking our cue from the Nobel Committee, we have reevaluated our position and now see that not only he too awesome to turn down, but we should and will rename the Olympics after him. From now on, they will be known as the BOlympics. The representatives of the Rio de Janero Olympics 2016 bid committee could not be...

U.S. President Barack Obama told a crowd of admiring White House press corps reporters that he was "deeply honoured" to have won the 2009 Publishers' Clearing House Sweepstakes. As the President was having an early morning working breakfast with czar Kevin Jennings, Obama was surprised to hear the doorbell ring and see the cryogenicaly revived body of Ed McMahon and Dick Clark on the White House doorstep, cheque in hand. "I can't believe it!" said Obama. "That's more free money than I've ever seen working for ACORN!" "For the first time in my life," said an estatic Michelle Obama, dressed...

USAville, — October 9, 2009 — In a surprise development, after venting for several hours because of the Nobel Peace Prize awarded to President Barack Obama, Freepers nationwide, sighed in unison, "Ah, I feel better now," and got back to business.

After winning a Nobel, Oscar, Grammy, Heisman, and the AL MVP, plus getting an assist for helping Rio win the Olympics; not everything is coming up roses for the President. This afternoon Obama lost an argument to himself. The incident occurred at lunch when the President couldn't decide if he wanted Coke or Sprite to go with his meal. After a 5 minute exchange with himself, that at times got kind of heated according to sources, the President went with Sprite. Afterwards a disappointed Obama said, "I really wanted Coke with my lunch, but I let myself talk myself out...

Washington (NNN) - Reliable sources indicate that U.S. President Barack Obama, fresh off of the stunning choice to award him the Nobel Peace Prize, is due for yet another major honor. Inside sources, who declined to be named, merely referred to it as a "major award", although one source -- decidedly off-record -- provided the No News Network with the following glimpse of what the trophy will look like.

The lovely Carla Bruni Sarkozy has left her husband to become Obama's mistress. The delightful Carla says: "I always wanted to sleep with a Nobel Prize Winner!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not.

Fonzie: "I admit it. He's five times greater than I ever was! He's the Boss!"

Obama was chosen for his strong defense of traditional American values, defense of traditional family values, support for the sanctity of life, his promotion of democracy abroad, and his fiscal discipline at home.

(AP) Barak Obama is credited with the creation of two new universes today. Tremendous explosions could be heard from the Rose Garden, where Barak Obama started the expansion of the two new universes. At the point of this event all of the matter and energy of space was contained at one point. The White House Spokesman confirmed that this occurance was not a conventional explosion but rather an event filling all of space with all of the particles of the embryonic universe rushing away from each other.

Oslo, Oct 9, 2009 - The Nobel Peace Prize commission today made the startling declaration that President Barack Hussein Obama is in fact the long-awaited Fifth Element, completing the four existing elements of Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. As President Obama takes his place on the Fifth Pedestal, it is widely expected that a blinding beam of light will shoot out of his mouth, which will reverse the advance of global warming and warring. The commission once erroneously thought that ex-President Jimmy Carter was the Fifth Element, but when placed on the pedestal, only blinding ignorance came out of his...