Posted on 09/17/2020 3:47:35 PM PDT by DFG
Lieutenant Chris Gastelum was laid off yesterday by the Minneapolis Police Department after the city council voted to defund the police. As he was walking home, he saw, by chance, some rioters throwing Molotov cocktails at the homes of several city council members. But, sadly, he was powerless to do anything, as he'd just turned in his gun and badge.
"Help, officer -- they're burning down my house!" screamed a city council member.
"Oh, shoot! Sorry! Would love to help but they couldn't afford me anymore," Gastelum said. One rioter paused, worried he would be arrested. "Oh, no, sir, go right ahead," the former officer said. "I'm not a cop anymore. Feel free to continue with your mostly peaceful protest."
"Better luck next time!" Gastelum said cheerily to the city council member before skipping on his merry way, a newfound spring in his step.
"It's a real bummer," he told reporters later. "I would have loved to help out." Just then, he turned another corner to see another city council member getting mugged. "Hey, good to see you!" he shouted at her. "Hope everything's going well for you! Have a great day!"
I hope any pets in the houses were safely removed before the fires. Aside from that . . . tough s**t.
I read it, but I didn’t notice the part about the Bee. Drats.
If only...
They’ll regret it eventually, when they see they’re victims of their own political games. Hehe..
Lieutenants are management. Police are union, so as management all he could do is direct a dispatcher to send police (beat cops) then stand there as professionally observe the arson taking place.
Unions and division of labor are wonderful things.
I wish...
Too bad this story is a Babylon Bee fantasy rather than a story in the Minneapolis Red Star Review.
If this story comes to fruition, I hope their insurance companies refuse to pay because they coddled the rioters and I hope the mortgage companies demand the monthly mortgage payments.
I also hope the next administration tears down the burnt out homes and bills each council member for that public service and sends them a notice that they have 12 months to rebuild or their property will be seized and sold to someone who will rebuild the property.
I hope the neighbors of each council critter sue the neighboring council critter for aiding and abetting the thugs who burned the counci critter’s home which lowered the neighbors’ property values.
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Leftist idiots reaping the whirlwind ....
“They Were Stupid and Arrogant” will be the lefts epitaph.
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