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Hamas Offers To Release Hostages If Israel Agrees To Not Exist
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/21/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/21/2023 1:38:21 PM PST by DFG

QATAR — In a promising development for over 230 innocent civilians held captive in Gaza, Chief Ismail Haniyeh extended an offer to release all the hostages. In exchange, he has asked for the nation of Israel to no longer exist.

"My terms are simple and reasonable," said Haniyeh from a jacuzzi tub in his massive Qatar mansion. "I will let all the hostages go, and all I ask in return is for the entire state of Israel to disappear from the face of the earth, and all the Jews who live therein to die painful deaths, praise be to Allah."

"I shall graciously provide 24 hours for the world to fulfill my request. Thank you."

"Also, I want America to disappear as well. Israel, AND America. Both countries gone. And everyone there should be dead. I think that's it. No more will I request. Thank you."

At publishing time, the U.S. had refused the terms, prompting the UN to accuse America of supporting genocide.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; ceasefire; gaza; hamas; israel

1 posted on 11/21/2023 1:38:21 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Dear Bibi,
Commence bombing.


2 posted on 11/21/2023 1:45:04 PM PST by Fireone (Who killed Obama's chef?)
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To: DFG

And Israel accepted lol
We will erect monuments to them and light a candle


3 posted on 11/21/2023 1:48:45 PM PST by forYourChildrenVote4Bush
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To: DFG

“Hamas Offers To Release Hostages If Israel Agrees To Not Exist”

Perhaps Israel can meet them halfway by sending 3.5 million of its Jews to the ovens...that would still be less than the 5 million that Hitler killed.

Sounds like a winning plan to me, or at least to Leftists.


4 posted on 11/21/2023 1:56:50 PM PST by BobL (I eat at McDonald's and shop at Walmart, I just don't tell anyone)
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To: DFG

Heh heh heh! Good one Bee Bee!


5 posted on 11/21/2023 2:19:12 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (It wasn't "genocide" when Hamas did it. Hypocrites!!!)
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To: DFG

I think we should only agree to accept the hostages if the Hammies agree to accept Pedo Joe, Camela Harris, Rashida “The Queen of the Burning Sands” Slaib and Illhand Omar the Tentmaker.


6 posted on 11/21/2023 2:22:49 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (It wasn't "genocide" when Hamas did it. Hypocrites!!!)
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To: DFG

: ) and then they’d release the dead prisoners.


7 posted on 11/21/2023 2:32:43 PM PST by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: DFG

How about we give them Scarboro and the democrats? Appeasement will not work, but let’s try this much.


8 posted on 11/21/2023 6:00:33 PM PST by If You Want It Fixed - Fix It ( )
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To: DFG

This may be from the Babylon Bee, but I think that is pretty much what Hamas is demanding. All that Israel needs is mind transplants for Hamas, which should be as simple as what Hamas expects from Israel.


9 posted on 11/21/2023 7:06:33 PM PST by oldtech
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To: DFG

The Bee keeps slipping into reporting reality.


10 posted on 11/21/2023 7:27:54 PM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.)
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