Posted on 11/29/2023 7:23:58 PM PST by foundedonpurpose
Freepers, I need some help and advise. The smart asses can take a time out. This has to be dealt with. It's destroyed my life.
Grateful for legit thoughts. I have to get back to who I was.
This cost me my family and everything else. Pre Obama freepers comments preferred. This will take a few days.
Regards!
Founded
I am going to reiterate some of the advice given by our fellow Freepers and what my experience was.
You cannot do this by yourself. How do I know? I thought I could, too, until someone told me "If you could do it, you would have." It is hard to ask for help, and it is humbling for those of us who are fiercely independent, but there is no shame in it. You will find there are many people who felt the same way you do, and it was only after they humbled themselves and asked for help did they start the recovery process.
If you can go to inpatient rehab, do it. I tried two three-day detoxes - referred to as "spin-drys" - where they give you benzos to help with the withdrawal, but unless you're really serious about quitting - by setting up a post-rehab plan to attend AA meetings and change your lifestyle and habits, you will almost surely relapse. It wasn't until I spent two weeks at inpatient treatment that I finally sobered up.
Find an AA meeting - or several - and attend as often as possible. My post-rehab plan had me attend 90 meetings in 90 days. AA is like any gathering of human beings - there's an a**hole in every group - but because these folks have been where you are, you will find it to be a very welcoming atmosphere.
Step One of AA's Twelve Steps tells us "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable." That's tough to admit: I am powerless? Yes - you are. You will hear a lot about "surrender." To me, "surrender" had an ugly connotation; it meant that I gave up. But I was told that when you surrender in the context of achieving sobriety, it just means you no longer have to fight.
Step Two tells us "We came to be aware that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." This leads to "letting go". You will hear "Let Go, Let God". This puts off those who are non-religious, but if you don't believe in God, believe in a higher power. The point is you have to let go.
If your entire social life revolves around hanging out at a bar or hanging with people with whom the only thing you have in common is drinking, you are going to have to find something else to replace it. I used to spend my entire weekend at a bar. When I sobered up, I would still go out occasionally to sing karaoke, but I found it was no fun to hang out with a bunch of drunk people. To fill the time, I took up woodworking. In the dozen or so years I have been sober, I have built furniture, display cases for veteran's burial flags, and even two electric guitars. There is a life after addiction. One thing I read at the inpatient facility said "Sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised." It's true.
If you haven't already, develop a relationship with God. Go to church, read the Bible, pray - whatever brings you closer to Him. Find like-minded people.
Don't drink. Period. Don't look at sobriety as "Oh no! I can't drink for the rest of my life!" Look at it as "I will not drink this minute." The minutes become hours, the hours become weeks, the weeks become months, and the months become years. Just don't pick up that first drink.
A counselor told us that the Twelve Steps of AA can be summed up in six words:
Trust God
Clean house
Help Others
With the help of God and AA, you can do this. I wish you Godspeed. I will praying for you.
Quitting with the power of Jesus Christ is key. I will say that many addictions are due to being deficient in nutrition. That may sound weird to some but it is a fact. For instance, being low in magnesium, which is your major relaxing mineral, is a direct cause of addictions. I can pretty much guarantee you that you’re low in mag, as all of us are, if we’re not supplementing as we do not get sufficient magnesium in our food and water anymore.
get on a quality magnesium glycinate supplement every day. Be consistent. It works.
Freeper Date 1-24-1999
I don't know every way out from the grips of alcoholism, but I do know one that works for me. I'd be glad to share it with you.
Meds helped. Provigil was amazing. An occasional hit off a thc vape pen helped with the withdrawals. I immersed myself in learning musical instruments to keep my mind occupied as eventually the cravings and withdrawals just faded away. The hardest was making new habits to replace the old habits.
It wasn’t until I became a Christian at age 20 that I could forgive my alcoholic father. After all he put us through, I have little sympathy for those (like my mom) who enable them. All the “turning their life around” later on doesn’t undo the harm they caused.
Google naltrexone and the Sinclair Method
I couldn’t stop on my own so I knew what I had to do. I continued to attend 4-5 meetings a week, work the Steps with my sponsor, and take it one day at a time. I’m grateful.
There are two basic sides to alcoholism...desire and addiction. You have a desire to drink and you have an addiction to drink. Break the addiction and, while the desire may never go away, you can probably handle the desire after reaching sobriety. Your job right now is to break the addiction.
Start with several AA meetings.
My family is full of alcoholics. So I’m an unwilling expert.
You have three choices:
You die.
You lose your mind (Korsakov’s Syndrome, which looks like Alzheimers)
Or you quit.
My sister got sober in AA decades ago, met a fabulous husband there and they are doing well. Have a beautiful home, many $$$, living the dream. He’s an early riser and still goes to daily AA meetings. Because he likes them.
My mother died of Korsakov’s. Terribly, dreadfully sad. A beautiful woman with all the advantages.
My son and father died. Both highly intelligent, doing well in the world. I still cry about both of them.
So please get yourself to daily AA meetings. Go twice a day if you’re retired and can do that. Get a really tough sponsor in the group. You’ll make fabulous friends. I went to a few groups with my sister, and I want you to know that AA friends are real friends, and meetings can be a lot of fun.
Good luck and God Bless.
(BTW, I used to buy a bottle of good vodka in the summer for vodka tonics, and one day a friend looked in my fridge and saw it there. I literally forgot I had it. An alcoholic would think of nothing else all day, they tell me. So don’t buy booze. Ever.)
Praying for you.
Prayers for you.
“The smart asses can take a time out.”
If words make you feel bad then you really don’t want to correct your behavior.
My addiction was to prescribed morphine.
I was able to get over it in 2011 but it was h*ll.
In a nutshell it was the same as what Rush had. A medical issue that turned into addiction but mine was not chronic.
It’s two different addiction mechanisms alcohol and morphine. Actually GABA-A addictions (alcohol, valium and the like) are worse.
Morphine dependence won’t lead to death on withdrawal. GABA-A drugs can kill if you quit too soon.
Oh, BTW, it was one of Odinga’s illegal darlings who ran me over. The DA probably gave him a cookie for each American he maimed or killed.
I don’t know if this helps but I hope it does.
In my youth I drank heavily and continued into my adult years. I won’t bore you with details but I came down this.
I was tired of drinking and wanted to quit, however, I couldn’t seem to stop. A friend I AA told me if I could quit for 30 I wasn’t an alcoholic. Honestly I was tired of waking up feeling like crap. I did finally gave it up and honestly don’t miss it. Hope this helps in some way, God bless
There is a guy on YouTube by the name of Scott Freda. He is a sobriety coach. He watched his wife die from alcohol and lost some friends to it. Very compelling. It’s free and you can also email him.
Be well.
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