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12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/07/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/07/2024 10:58:04 AM PDT by DFG

U.S. — A new wave of controversy erupted as 12 women came forward alleging they had been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump's vice presidential pick would end up being.

The damning allegations began to come in despite the fact that Trump has yet to officially name a running mate or even disclose whether the pick is a man or a woman. Sources confirmed at least a dozen highly credible accusers emerged to demand justice against whoever the VP candidate might be.

"Whoever the VP pick is, I am here to tell my story of how I was inappropriately touched by them," claimed one accuser. "As soon as Trump sees fit to announce who his running mate is, I'm going to positively identify him… or her. Whatever. No matter who he picks, they aren't going to get away with what they did. They must be held accountable!"

Other women quickly joined the ranks of accusers, suggesting Trump's eventual VP selection — no matter who it may end up being — has a long history of serious misconduct. "The person Trump picks as his running mate will not get away with the things we all know they did. Once he announces who it is, we'll know who to blame for what happened to all of us."

At publishing time, the DOJ had announced they would be charging Trump's VP pick with serious federal crimes, once they find out who it is.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; doj; election; trump; vp
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To: aimhigh

Look at the pictures.


21 posted on 05/07/2024 12:15:59 PM PDT by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: DFG

I think this article is their best ever!


22 posted on 05/07/2024 12:28:53 PM PDT by .30Carbine
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To: grey_whiskers

If I’m not mistaken, that’s Adam Kinzinger - a very nice touch.


23 posted on 05/07/2024 12:46:46 PM PDT by Stosh
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To: Stosh

Top Kek.

I *thought* I recognized him.


24 posted on 05/07/2024 12:59:44 PM PDT by grey_whiskers ( The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: DFG

I was sexually assaulted by Kamala Harris. I don’t remember where or when but it was in New York’s Nieman Marcus.


25 posted on 05/07/2024 1:09:24 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes.)
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To: DFG

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha....


26 posted on 05/07/2024 1:10:53 PM PDT by gathersnomoss (Just Give Me Truth.)
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To: DFG

TOP ROW = 1-6
BOTTOM ROW = 7-12

27 posted on 05/07/2024 2:04:42 PM PDT by BraveMan
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To: DFG

That’s about it.


28 posted on 05/07/2024 2:13:05 PM PDT by Eagles6 (Welcome to the Matrix . Orwell's "1984" was a warning, not an instruction manual.)
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