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Win A Date With (soon to be single) Mrs. Heinz---Post Why She Should Date You
Self
| February 12, 2003
| PJ-Comix
Posted on 02/12/2004 1:25:49 PM PST by PJ-Comix
Okay, it looks like Mrs. Heinz might soon be SINGLE and DATING again. Therefore she will be on the make for guys to date. Please post here why you want to date Mrs. Heinz. Best response wins a date with Mrs. Heinz.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
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To: PJ-Comix
Let me be Groucho to your Margaret Dumont.Very funny!!!
21
posted on
02/12/2004 6:42:39 PM PST
by
Lawgvr1955
(Sic Semper Tyrannus)
To: PJ-Comix
I like a Hot Tomato that I can Ketchup too... if you know what I mean.
Heinz #58
22
posted on
02/12/2004 6:53:57 PM PST
by
irishtenor
(If animals weren't meant to be eaten, why did God make them out of meat?)
To: PJ-Comix
Dear Teresa:
I am also from Massachusetts and I am even taller and better looking than that jerk senator that broke your heart. I don't need the botox stuff or Viagra either. Teresa, I think you are better looking than even Hillary Clinton and I would never cheat on you. With your help, I can also run for president someday and maybe I will even win and make you the First Lady. I'm sure that my being a Republican won't matter to you. After all, your first husband was a Republican. Besides you are probably sick of Democrats and their cheating ways by now. I am also not interested in your $500 million and I'll even sign a prenuptial to prove it. All I ask, in case things don't work out (but I'm sure they will), is a reasonable "living allowance" that would hardly amount to more than a drop in your ketchup bottle. Please write back soon.
23
posted on
02/12/2004 6:54:21 PM PST
by
SamAdams76
(I got my 401(k) statement - Up 28.02% in 2003 - Thanks to tax cuts and the Bush recovery)
To: PJ-Comix
You should date me because I'm not John F Kerry.
What other reason do you need?
How about - I don't have a horse face like whatshisname but I'm hung like one.
24
posted on
02/12/2004 7:07:40 PM PST
by
rllngrk33
(Liberals are guilty of everything they accuse Conservatives of.)
To: PJ-Comix
Dear Theresa:
I understand you have a thing for senators. As it just so happens: I am a United States Senator.
I would never cheat on you (like You-Know-Who has), because I, too, know first-hand of the anguish and mortification that comes from knowing your beloved spouse has been cruelly unfaithful.
I'm in the office just down from your (soon-to-be?) ex's, in the Capitol Building. Give me a ring, sometime... and maybe I'll end up giving you one, in return.
All My Moist and Ardent Desire,
Hillary
25
posted on
02/12/2004 11:54:25 PM PST
by
KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
("The Clintons have damaged our country. They have done it together, in unison." -- Peggy Noonan)
To: Cathryn Crawford
If I were 20 years younger I'd send you a "I want a date" letter, along with the requisite chocolate and roses :-)
26
posted on
02/13/2004 3:28:59 AM PST
by
Rebelbase
(The Gravy Train makes unscheduled stops.)
To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle
"All My Moist and Ardent Desire,
Hillary"
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
27
posted on
02/13/2004 6:08:06 AM PST
by
ExGeeEye
(Flat tax or Nat'l Sales Tax? Either is better than what we have now.)
To: Lawgvr1955
Agreed - pretty much an un-toppable line
To: PJ-Comix
ME: (singing) ANNNNNNNNNTIIIICIIIIIPAAAAAAAAYYYYAAAAAAATION!
She: Go away!
Me: Pass the ketchup?
She: What?
ME: Wanna dance?
She: Certainly NOT.
Me: Come on, I won't make fun of you...
She: GUARDS!
Me: I understand, I don't take charity either. (leave quickly)
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