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Alexander the Great and his staff meetings
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Posted on 09/06/2005 11:24:49 AM PDT by EveningStar

The armies of Alexander the Great were greatly feared in their day, but there was one problem that they had that almost defeated them. Alexander could not get his people to staff meetings on time. He always held the meetings at 6.00 p.m. each day after the day's battle was done, but frequently his generals either forgot or let the time slip up on them and missed the 6.00 p.m. staff meeting. This angered Alexander very much, to say the least!

So he called in his research team and set up a project to develop a method of determining the time at 6.00 p.m. each day. There were no clocks in those days, at least none that could be carried around. The smallest was a giant water clock "Find a way for my staff to determine the hour of the day, or at least when it gets to be 6.00 p.m.," he said, "Cost is no object."

A study was instituted and, with several brain-storming sessions, his staff came up with the following idea. In a land some distance away, there grew a bush whose berries contained a type of dye that changed colour at 6.00 p.m. each evening. They found that by dyeing strips of cloth and issuing them to the generals, they could see when it was 6.00 p.m. by the colour change, and could consistently get to the 6.00 p.m. meetings on time. Needless to say this pleased Alexander very much.

It was then turned over to his marketing group to come up with a name for this new invention as Alexander saw definite market potential in the strips. "It can be worn on the wrist and can be easily watched for the colour change," said one junior executive. "I therefore propose to call it the Wrist Watch." This name was immediately discarded for being too bland and obvious.

Another man suggested that since it could be worn in the navel and could be observed by just looking down, it should be called the Naval Observatory. This idea was rejected immediately as being too weird and too technical sounding for the general public.

A junior vice-president suggested that since it could be worn around the neck and would insure that you would be informed when it reached 6.00 p.m., it should be called the Six O'Clock Noose, but this was rejected as too threatening.

Finally the senior vice president, who up to now had been silent, spoke and rendered his decision. "We shall call it a time-band, and in honour of the Great Alexander, it shall be known as ... Alexander's Rag Time-band!"


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: alexanderthegreat; history; punsarelowest
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1 posted on 09/06/2005 11:24:50 AM PDT by EveningStar
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Comment #2 Removed by Moderator

To: EveningStar

Body of reply.


3 posted on 09/06/2005 11:28:19 AM PDT by Thrusher (Remember the Mog.)
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To: .cnI redruM; c21sac; 537cant be wrong; 68 grunt; A. Patriot; A_Conservative_Chinese; ...

ping


4 posted on 09/06/2005 11:28:51 AM PDT by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar

GRRROOOOOONNN


5 posted on 09/06/2005 11:29:28 AM PDT by DWar
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To: bobbdobbs

I didn't write it but I wish I had. :)


6 posted on 09/06/2005 11:30:09 AM PDT by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar

Double-Duty PUN PING!!


7 posted on 09/06/2005 11:30:10 AM PDT by JimBianchi11
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To: EveningStar

Actually, it was the color of juniper berries, used to make Alex's gin. The sound of his wench shaking up martinis had 'em running.


8 posted on 09/06/2005 11:35:41 AM PDT by colorado tanker (The People Have Spoken)
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To: EveningStar

p.m. is Latin


9 posted on 09/06/2005 11:36:13 AM PDT by JohnnyZ ("I believe abortion should be safe and legal in this country." -- Mitt Romney)
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To: JohnnyZ

Alexander was prescient.


10 posted on 09/06/2005 11:38:02 AM PDT by EveningStar
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To: colorado tanker

Was Alexander really a homosexual?


11 posted on 09/06/2005 11:38:47 AM PDT by CIDKauf (No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.)
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To: EveningStar

I'll read any thread on Alex the Great.


12 posted on 09/06/2005 11:39:40 AM PDT by Ciexyz (Let us always remember, the Lord is in control.)
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To: EveningStar

I heard a version of this joke 20 years ago.


13 posted on 09/06/2005 11:57:24 AM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: CIDKauf
I really don't know. From what I've read, Alexander was bisexual, like many Greek men of his day. He was married, but didn't seem particularly fond of his wife. It's hard to know the truth of these things because of the penchant of academia to try to out historical figures as "gay" to advance the agenda.

Trying to define Greeks as gay or straight is an anachronism IMHO, as Greeks did not regard homosexual relationships as the equivalent of marriage.

14 posted on 09/06/2005 11:59:06 AM PDT by colorado tanker (The People Have Spoken)
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To: EveningStar

prescient is derived from Latin as well


15 posted on 09/06/2005 12:04:19 PM PDT by JohnnyZ ("I believe abortion should be safe and legal in this country." -- Mitt Romney)
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To: CIDKauf
Was Alexander really a homosexual?

Homosexual is Latin. Perhaps Alexander was autonomous, or hydrophobic. Or, in keeping with your question, Sapphic, although that is generally used for women.

16 posted on 09/06/2005 12:08:39 PM PDT by JohnnyZ ("I believe abortion should be safe and legal in this country." -- Mitt Romney)
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To: Verginius Rufus

More like 40 for me. :)


17 posted on 09/06/2005 12:08:42 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar

[rim shot]


18 posted on 09/06/2005 12:11:11 PM PDT by Junior (Just because the voices in your head tell you to do things doesn't mean you have to listen to them)
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To: bobbdobbs

GMTA


19 posted on 09/06/2005 12:13:48 PM PDT by Calvin Locke
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To: CIDKauf
Was Alexander really a homosexual?
If so, I don't want to hear about those "staff meetings".

-Eric

20 posted on 09/06/2005 12:16:40 PM PDT by E Rocc (Anyone who thinks Bush-bashing is banned from FR has never read a Middle East thread.)
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