Posted on 10/16/2006 8:38:20 AM PDT by COUNTrecount
Alabama: Like the third world, but closer. or, Because SC is a Little Too Progressive for Some of Us
Alaska: Yeah, but it's a dry cold. or, We Get to Kill Whales and You Don't!
Arizona: Oh, crap. I guess now WE'RE gonna need a new motto, too.
Arkansas: It's Trailer-rific!!! or, Attention, K-Mart Shoppers!
California: Our Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor
Colorado: Now 100% John Denver free!
Connecticut: The "c" is Silent, Casshole!
Florida: Hey you kids, get off of my state! or, More than just a great place to die.
Hawaii: Why Does Everybody Think Putting Ham and Pineapple on Something Makes it "Hawaiian"?
Idaho: Cogito ergo spud: I think, therefore I yam.
Illinois: The "I See Dead Voters" State
Indiana: Dan Quayle's Favorite Country! or, Where EVERY year is 1957.
Iowa: Future Birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk or, Our Trees Bend North Because Minnesota Sucks.
Kansas: More hills than Nebraska!
Kentucky: Shallowest gene pool in the Union
Massachusetts: Now with 30% fewer Kennedys!
Michigan: It's not just cold. It's ass-biting cold.
Minnesota: Those guys in Fargo lived in ND, okay?
Mississippi: Keeping Louisiana from being last in *every* quality of life category.
Missouri: Missouri Loves Company
Montana: Anti-Government-Isolationist-Compound Conventions Welcome!
Nebraska: The "N" is for "Knowledge!"
New Jersey: What smell?
New York: The Go F#@$% Yourself State
North Carolina: Sure, we've got weird, blue-skinned, inbred mountain dwellers, but at least we don't still fly the Confederate flag!
North Dakota: Last one to leave, turn out the light.
Ohio: It's more than just "hello" in Japanese.
Oklahoma: Oklahoma: Named After an Indian Tribe We Slaughtered
Oregon: Home of quality babes like Tonya Harding and Monica Lewinski
Pennsylvania: Raising Barn since 1681
Rhode Island: Yes, we know what a "peninsula" is.
South Carolina: If at first you don't secede: try, try again. or, The OTHER white state.
South Dakota: Hello? Can anyone hear me? Hey! Over here!
Tennessee: Established in 1796 by Al Gore
Texas: We put the "Ex" in "execution"!
West Virginia: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Utah: Now open 7 days a week. or, Michael Jackson is *almost* white enough to live here now.
Vermont: We don't care who you marry, as long as we get the license fee.
Virginia: Shouldn't this be a commonwealth motto?
Washington: Come for the Protests -- Stay for the Coffee!
Wisconsin: Badgers?! We don't need no stinkin' badgers. or, Cutting the Cheese Since 1848
And finally,
Puerto Rico: Ready to Screw Up 40 Years of Flag Symmetry
Where's Georgia?
Dude - that is so not funny
How about - Pennsylvania, where no one wants to live in democrat run cities...
They skipped Louisiana.
"Where's Georgia?"
Puerto Rico got substituted for Georgia.
Louisiana: How's ya Mama 'n' dem?
Where's Wyoming?
We need one for New Mexico....
Louisiana: Don't you tell us what to do...er...Help!
Chris Jackson had a good one:
New Mexico: You drink, you drive, who cares???
Louisiana - "Who's yo' momma, and can you make a roux?"
Wyoming: "The let's go hunting with Cheney state."
How about Maryland? Almost Massachusetts.
KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO.......... (Ful list, sorry.)
Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona
Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas
Lituracy Ain't Everythang.
California
By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, only smaller.
Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida
Ask Us About Our Grand kids
And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)
Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!
Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections!
Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada
Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.
Texas
Se Hable Ingles
Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
Home of Brokeback Mtn.
The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place!
NH was not in the initial list, but I guess you can't improve on "Live Free or Die"...
Courtesy of Lenny Clarke.
The perception that most people have about Alabama is completely wrong.
Louisiana - America's Banana Republic
Connecticut: "Massachucetts without the Kennedys"
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