Posted on 01/13/2017 4:09:04 PM PST by BBell
In the coming zombie apocalypse, safe spaces may be in short supply, so millennials will have to take shelter under their Spoonk mats and crack open their cell phones in hopes there's creamy nougat inside. According to a recent survey -- this is shocking, I know -- millennials lack even the most basic survival skills.
Apparently SnapChat offers no tutorials on how to build a snare trap.
The survey, conducted ahead of the London Boat Show, found even the most basic of life skills are quantum physics to most millennials. More than half were unable to tie a single knot and 40 percent had never swum in open water.
That removes as an option wading out into a lake while the zombie hordes foam and snarl along the shoreline.
Even more troubling, millennials have no idea how to read maps, relying instead on GPS and the Google Maps app to tell them when to go straight or turn. That means millennials will be the ones wandering through the forest, hoping to find a cell signal. And as fans of The Walking Dead know, zombies love to hide behind trees.
In those forests, even though they're surrounded by wood, any millennials who survive the zombies will likely freeze to death at night because the survey found two-thirds of them have no idea how to spark a fire by natural means. Fire, they had assumed, lives inside of stoves, and only comes out when you turn the dial.
Millennials will also be stunned to learn that seafood markets won't automatically produce more fish after the zombies have eaten their owners. Hungry millennials may see fish jumping in those lakes they can't swim in, but they'll have no clue how to catch them for dinner, even though they'd have to eat them raw anyway since
(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...
Agreed, but when the clutch pedal is at the other end of the car from the clutch, it’s about the only way.
Thanks for the link. I have some older jars myself but never really bothered to look them up.
I’ll have to do that.
No, just SALAD GREENS.
We used to joke at work about a few things:
When younger men were coming into the store in the DEAD OF WINTER, looking to purchase Bat Guano and other high-nitrogen fertilizers, we easily KNEW what they were up to. ;)
We had a tall, skinny grow light rack that could easily fit into a dorm room closet. We called that one, ‘The Pot Master 2000.’
Just don’t take my alfalfa sprouter away from me and I’ll be a Happy Camper all winter long!
I always thought dating them had something to do with the numbers on the bottom of the jar, but it’s the logo in the glass that dates the jar. The numbers on the bottom are just pouring-batch numbers.
You’ve never had a salt block out in the pen, have you?
They have been carefully taught by the government to be totally dependent .. ..everything should be free . ..
The parents who raised their millennials correctly.
A few years back he wrote an article about how there is no excuse to eat tilapia if you live in southern Louisiana.
I’ve 4 1/2 69-72 Opel GTs.
They have a cable for the front engine.
I give them a Billy Block.
I’ve a new one setting on the kitchen island; just waiting for the last few crumbs of the old one to be licked away.
http://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/herdlife-billy-block-goat-block-4-lbs
Swedes, what can you say.
Hold your hand higher and you can train them to walk on two legs.
Oh they do this quite well all on their own.
Especially when it’s time to head bonk your buddy.
I drove in Ireland with a stick shift that I had to do with my right hand...no big deal...
I have driven stick shifts on the floor, on the steering column, on the floor as we now know them to be...
No big deal...
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