Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Movie Review [Video]

YouTube ^ | December 18, 2019 | Jeremy Jahns

[dfwgator]

If I had known Star Wars would have ended up like this, I would have rooted for The Empire.

[DiogenesLamp]

One thing I will say for these recent Star Wars movies: they always make me appreciate the last one a little more.

I routinely phrase that as "exponentially increasing levels of suckage with each new addition." Everything after "Empire Strikes Back" has been crap, with increasing levels of suckage with each new addition.

[DiogenesLamp]

Which Skywalker? This film comes after The Last Jedi in which Luke either dies or disappears. So if he is the titular Skywalker, then the only 'Rise' would be from the dead or a transition from his current form.

Or, is Rey actually from the line of Skywalker? I admit I haven't been keeping up on all the details of her existence but this one puzzles me. Who the Frak is this Skywalker who is doing the Rising in this film?

I was thinking the same thing. How pretentious to use "Skywalker" when they did in fact kill off "Skywalker" in the previous show.

Who's gonna rise? Is that Super Warrior Princess supposed to be a previously unknown "Skywalker"? If so, i'm rooting for the empire.

[cdcdawg]

Compared to The Last Jedi, the prequels are great works of art. I never thought I would be able to say that even sarcastically.

[DiogenesLamp]

Go and watch it for yourself.

Not going to happen. I have come to hate Disney and everything to which they are connected, and I will not be putting money into their pocket so they can spread more perversion and propaganda.

I think a lot of people here are not going to see it, so it would be fine if you tell us what is supposed to be "shocking" in who the "Skywalker" turns out to be.

Seems to me they killed off all the Skywalkers.

[DiogenesLamp]

Bombshell is gonna bomb at the box office. No one cares about the trials and tribulations Megyn Kelly had to endure in order to secure a $25 million contract with NBC. The horror!

Hard to believe anyone was so stupid as to think people would want to pay anything to hear about Megyn Kelly getting harrassed by Roger Ailes.

Who gives a f***? Why would anyone on planet earth give a F***? What kind of moron would think anyone would give a f*** about this?

[DiogenesLamp]

Leia is a Skywalker, which makes Kylo Ren the last Skywalker. Unless Luke had a kid we haven’t met?

Wait, are we switching to Matrilineal from Patrilineal?

Kylo Ren would be a "Solo".

Y chromosome comes from the Father. Mother can only contribute an "X".

[DiogenesLamp]

Compared to The Last Jedi, the prequels are great works of art. I never thought I would be able to say that even sarcastically.

The prequels may be better, but they are not good. They are in fact terrible.

I enjoyed watching Mr. Plinkett's critique of them more than I did the movies.

[otness_e]

Unless the Skywalkers are now Jewish, it definitely makes no sense that it would be Matrilineal currently, especially when naming conventions were previously implied in the franchise to be Patrilineal.

[DiogenesLamp]

Exactly. No more Skywalkers. That's why the title of this movie didn't make any sense on the face of it.

My impression is that they are just trying to use the name "Skywalker" to give the appearance that they just didn't destroy everything "Skywalker" with their last few stupid movies.

I think they hoped the name might draw an audience to see it, even though it doesn't make any sense.

[Antoninus]

Was there any requisite gay content in it?

Yes, apparently. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3801836/posts

[Little Ray]

I don’t think Salic Law applies to Jedi or mitichloridians.

[cdcdawg]

Plinkett’s reviews of the prequels ARE great works of art.

[DiogenesLamp]

I don’t think Salic Law applies to Jedi or mitichloridians.

:)

[DiogenesLamp]

Plinkett’s reviews of the prequels ARE great works of art.

Yup. :)

[Rummyfan]

No one.....

[moovova]

Any news on Rambo 23 yet?

[Rummyfan]

Review: ‘Rise Of Skywalker’ Is The Worst ‘Star Wars’ Movie Ever

[RandallFlagg]

Bookmarking

[mewzilla]

Reads to me like the reviewer is blaming geezers for the fact the movie sucks.