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His state check had a specific deduction that paid for my benefits to continue if he died.

He cancelled that without telling me sometime after his triple bypass in 2010.

I read that I would have to have signed a consent form for that to happen and I did not.

He came off that bypass machine a “different person”.
That’s when things went bad between us.
He was like a “walk in” in or something and was not the guy I knew the week before.

He swears I signed that form that cancelled my benefits but no way I would have.

The state probably didn’t check “my signature” so I have my suspicions he did it himself.

There are a lot of autopays that I have to keep up, like the dog’s health insurance, etc.

There is a business account, a general house account, my personal account that he is attached to somehow *but* I created a separate account for the house insurance checks solely under my name and control.

He’s not on that and had no way to access it because I didn’t trust him to not buy motorcycle crap with it during one of his “where am I?” Episodes.
Is that safe to keep?

I don’t even know if the bank will let me walk out with that much cash and it scares me anyway.

$5000 of the dog’s cancer fund was burned because I had it in cash, hidden in a box in the bathroom because he had a habit of “borrowing” my dog money and never paying it back.

So I kept it where he never knew about it and it got seriously singed.

I’d have to buy a fireproof lock box then deposit x amount every time for the necessary autopay stuff when it was due.

The license issue seems to stem from him “forgetting” to renew plate stickers long before the fire.

People have no idea what was going on without my knowledge long before he had the excuse of the fire.

I feel like I’ve woken up in some alternate reality and the life I thought I was leading was all a lie.

Still have no idea how I’ll finish the joint filed tax stuff we to an extension for.

I. Am. Lost.

The fluids are brake and radiator.
All I have asked of him Since the fire was to maintain and check the car but somehow a whole gallon of antifreeze “disappeared” one night.
The week before he brake reservoir was empty.

I feel like I’m losing me mind.

WTH was he trying to do to me??

“He cancelled the payments from his state check that provided protection of any benefits for me after his death back in 2009 or so and didn’t tell me.”

I am confused. Are you talking about life insurance, voluntary supplemental life insurance or the defined benefit pension plan or a supplemental retirement plan?

First, as I understand, and I could be wrong, but for MD state employees, participation in the defined benefit pension plan is not voluntary so he couldn’t “cancel” the payments (deductions) from his state payroll check. And as I understand, he could not remove you as his beneficiary without your express written permission.

You need to get in touch with DPSCS BENEFITS - Human Resources Services Division (link below), explain your situation (clearly and concisely – you don’t need to and should not get into a lot of extraneous details or get emotional), and ask about “if” there are spousal survivor benefits available to you under his defined benefit pension plan, and if so, who is listed as beneficiary, and request a copy of the “spousal consent” form, letting them know that you did not sign one and if your signature is on such a form, you believe it to be fraudulent, and ask where to go from there.

If he also voluntarily participated in the 457 Deferred Compensation Plan or the 401(k) Savings and Investment Plan, I’m not sure as I don’t have access to the plan documents, but he may have been able to stop contributing to them, i.e. stop a payroll deduction. However, whatever he may have contributed to such plans, assuming there is still a balance, I believe the same rules apply to removing a spouse as beneficiary. That would be another question to ask DPSCS BENEFITS.

However, I did find this from the SRPS - The Maryland State Retirement and Pension System but am not sure of this also applies to DPSCS:

“Death Benefit

Generally, our death benefit protection provides financial protection to your designated beneficiary(ies) if your death occurs during active membership. The benefits payable vary depending on the members system.

Survivor protection remains in effect as long as you are on payroll or a Maryland State Retirement and Pension System-approved leave of absence.

For specific information on the death benefit payable under your particular system, please refer to your pamphlet or contact a retirement benefit specialist.”

As to life insurance, I’m mostly familiar with Group Term Life and Supplemental Life Insurance plans in the private sector so am not sure how this applies to MD State employees.

Group Term life in the private sector is almost always paid by the employer. Supplemental Life is typically voluntary and paid via a payroll deduction. At employment termination, the employee is given the opportunity to convert both the company provided and voluntary supplemental life insurance plans and pay the premiums directly.

If no conversion is made and the premiums are not paid, the plan may no longer be effective. But again, another question to ask DPSCS BENEFITS.

The Maryland State Retirement and Pension System
https://sra.maryland.gov/members

DPSCS BENEFITS
https://dpscs.maryland.gov/employment/dpscs_benefits.shtml

RETIREMENT BENEFITS
Employees participate in a contributory defined benefit pension plan. Employees are also eligible to participate in a supplemental retirement plan: the 457 Deferred Compensation Plan or the 401(k) Savings and Investment Plan.

Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services - Human Resources Services Division
https://dpscs.maryland.gov/agencies/hrsd.shtml

As mabarker1 said, getting a duplicate driver’s license has nothing to do with vehicle titles or vehicle registrations. I maintained an MD driver’s license for several years without owning a vehicle or having a title or registration in my name. It may require a trip to MVA, and they may ask you for documentation of your identity and residence.

Bank Accounts:

If You are the Sole Owner of the account keep it like it is.

The others:

Are You the Primary account holder ? If so then You should be able to remove him from the account by providing the bank with a Death Certificate.

I would suggest that You keep the MINIMUM amounts in all of the others just to have control of some sort.

Open a new account and transfer the "excess" funds to the new account.

If You are on the account then You can get funds out as You want to. You can withdraw up to $9.999.00 without any crap from the bank. Amounts of $10,000.00 or more will trigger a Form You have to acknowledge and the fedzilla being notified so avoid that. Either put the money in one of the other accounts that You are in Sole ownership or keep the cash in a safe place.

it got seriously singed.

Take the damaged bills to the bank and exchange them for new bills. Tell them about the house fire.