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New York Times Patiently Awaiting Zoom Call From Hamas To See What They Should Print Today
The Bee ^ | October 18, 2023 | Staff

Posted on 10/18/2023 1:32:58 PM PDT by Navy Patriot

The staff of the New York Times spent the morning patiently waiting by the computer, waiting for the call from Hamas to see what the terrorists would like to have printed on the front page today.

"No fingers on the keyboard until Hamas calls!" declared Chief Editor Joe Khan. "We don't post a single word unless we've sourced it directly from the terrorists on the ground - understood?"

At long last, the Zoom app began ringing with a phone call from a Hamas spokesman. "Hello! Allahu Ackbar! Okay, what message do you guys want out there?" asked reporter Gene Okerlund. "Yes, yes, I know you want it to say ‘Death to Israel,' but is there anything more specific you want? Any horrific atrocities you guys perpetrated by accident but want to pin on the Jews? Great! Oh yeah, we can inflate those death tolls. We'll have the whole Middle East rioting in no time!"

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History; Reference
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; newhamastimes; newyorktimes; spewbarfslimes; thenewhamastimes
More accurate News from the Bee, continuing their recent reorganization to hard news coverage.
1 posted on 10/18/2023 1:32:58 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
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To: Navy Patriot

“Israel Uses Giant Zionist Space Laser To Kill Eleventy-Billion Palestinian Orphans And Puppies.”

Can they repurpose the space lasers from starting forest fires.


2 posted on 10/18/2023 1:37:29 PM PDT by JSM_Liberty
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To: JSM_Liberty

Obama was informed some Brazilian troops were killed in an ambush. He banged the table and started weeping. After a few minutes of crocodile tears he finally stopped.

‘How many is a Brazilian anyways?’


3 posted on 10/18/2023 1:50:05 PM PDT by Nateman (If Mohammad was not the Anti Christ Mad Moe definitely comes in as a Strong second.)
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To: JSM_Liberty
NYT latest hire
4 posted on 10/18/2023 1:50:12 PM PDT by Long Jon No Silver (Rrily)
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To: Navy Patriot

Probably because they don’t want to be shot.


5 posted on 10/18/2023 1:51:23 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Palestanians are not "refugeez". They are muslim terrorists. Remember 9/11/2001.)
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To: JSM_Liberty

Yes, Israel can do anything, AND get it for you Wholesale!


6 posted on 10/18/2023 1:58:41 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Celebrate Decivilization)
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To: Navy Patriot

Right! News from the Bee is more accurate than anything the MSM puts out.


7 posted on 10/18/2023 5:06:12 PM PDT by SkyDancer (~Definition Of A Business Jet: A Mailing Tube For Executives ~)
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To: Navy Patriot

To close to being true to be satire


8 posted on 10/18/2023 6:22:50 PM PDT by eyeamok
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