Posted on 04/21/2024 6:46:48 PM PDT by DoodleBob
Ah, the office – a place where language goes to get dressed in a suit and tie, only to trip over its own shoelaces. Here are 21 phrases that we’ve all heard ad nauseam, and if we’re being honest, wouldn’t miss if they were banished from the corporate lexicon forever:
#1. “Touch Base”
Because nothing says “I don’t actually play baseball” like using a sports metaphor to schedule a meeting.
#2. “Reach Out”
What are we, in a 90s boy band? Just say “I’ll send you an email” and leave the emotional ballads out of it.
#3. “Circle Back”
Less reminiscent of a productive workplace strategy, more an endless loop of doom where nothing ever gets resolved.
#4. “Synergize”
The verbal equivalent of a corporate trust fall. It’s supposed to mean teamwork but sounds more like a new age retreat.
#5. “Think Outside the Box”
If we had a nickel for every time this was said, we could construct a very large, very square box to trap the phrase in forever.
#6. “Leverage”
Originally a physics term, now just a fancy way of saying “use.” Because why use simple words when you can sound like a Wall Street tycoon?
#7. “Paradigm Shift”
Nothing quite like invoking the cosmos to describe changing the office printer.
#8. “Deep Dive”
Not a thrilling ocean adventure, but an overly long meeting about statistics. Bring a snorkel.
#9. “Bandwidth”
Unless you work at NASA, you’re probably just talking about time. Spoiler: nobody’s downloading you.
#10. “Low-Hanging Fruit”
Great for describing apples, less so for the easily achievable tasks that somehow still aren’t done.
#11. “Move the Needle”
Unless we’re all suddenly DJs, can we agree to just say “make progress”?
#12. “Boil the Ocean”
An epic quest to accomplish the impossible, or just corporate speak for trying to do way too much? You decide.
#13. “Take it Offline”
Because apparently, talking in person is now akin to being in airplane mode.
#14. “Win-Win Situation”
A mythical scenario, much like a unicorn, where everyone is happy and nobody’s spreadsheet gets rejected.
15. “On My Radar”
Unless you’re air traffic control, let’s stick to “I’m aware of it.”
#16. “Ping Me”
Not a game of table tennis, just a request for a message. Sadly, paddles are not involved.
#17. “Drill Down”
A phrase that makes you feel like you’re in for some serious dental work, rather than a closer look at the details.
#18. “Game Changer”
Overused to the point of meaninglessness. Changing the game or just changing the PowerPoint template?
#19. “At the End of the Day”
Spoiler: It’s night. Also, a filler phrase that’s the verbal equivalent of shrugging.
#20. “It’s on My Plate”
Because “I’m working on it” wasn’t foodie enough.
#21. “Ecosystem”
Unless we’re discussing the rainforest, can we agree our office plant doesn’t constitute an ecosystem?
So, next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, take a moment to laugh, then say what you mean. After all, clear communication is the key to success, not the ability to speak in buzzwords.
Utilize! Utilize! Utilize !
At the end of the day,
When all is said and done,
It is what it is...
I had a boss that used that.
I have a “manager” who is a complete fraud with zero qualifications to hold the job he lied through his teeth to get 3 years ago.
Every time I see him, hear his voice or get en email from this loser my blood pressure skyrockets.
The thing that really infuriates me though is every email this clown sends he starts ot out with “Attention Team”
The word ‘team’ needs to be killed off completely.
“should be a felony to attach to every AI post on LinkedIn the phrase “Game Changer”.”
I hadn’t thought of that.
That idea is a game changer.
Right. I’ve heard “crack” or “cracking” used as an adjective to mean “exceptional, superlative, excellent.” “A crack (or crackerjack) crew” or “a cracking good movie” I’m familiar with.
“Crack cocaine” I’ve heard to mean a particularly potent or addictive form of cocaine. But used as in “crack chicken,” etc. is new to me.
LOL...nope. But I DID come up with “Fifty Four Forty or FIGHT!”
Why, Bob’s your uncle!
Diversity
Equity
Inclusion
Social Justice
Reparation
Sounds like an “existential threat.”
Did you also coin “Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too!”??? :-D
Oooh, good one! Everything is an “existential threat” these days, isn’t it?
“Under-promise and over-deliver.”
Or, the more realistic, cynical version - “improved performance through lowered expectations.”
Milieu. That’s not used so much nowadays.
As in:”She’s a mover and a shaker; part of the 1% social milieu.”
“Pardon my French!”
I also threw on a couple others that were particular to our department, which is a bunch of tech nerds. One of the squares was "making a Star Trek reference". Other ones not on this list were "referencing a view from X number of feet". Also, "Long Pole".
Fortunately, the bosses are cool, and could take mocking of the buzzwords. It also kept everybody engaged and listening. Also a rule of "you cannot cover something you said" just so you could make your own Bingo. Good times.
HaHa! I agree with you on your “reach out” comments. I’ve been puzzled by the use of this for several years now. I hear it ALL THE TIME and I want to say: CALL me, don’t reach out to me. Please.
Yes! That one definitely triggers me.
Lol! I’m betting the actual French don’t like that term.
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