Posted on 11/02/2004 8:18:45 AM PST by PJ-Comix
Today’s Special Election Day DUmmie FUnnies editions starts off much earlier than I had planned. Why? Because yesterday I was suffering a bad case of the pre-election jitters. However, when I woke up this morning my mood completely changed since I am now secure in the knowledge that Bush will WIN big. However, the mood on the DUmmie site is now shifting from false optimism to downright gloom. You can see an example of DUmmie gloom on this THREAD appropriately titled, “I'm very used to having the American people disappoint the shit out of me.” And I think, DUmmie BurtWorm is correct since I am already laughing myself sh*tless at his DUmmie gloom. So take a break, relax, and enjoy this first of MANY special editions today of the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual, the doom and gloom DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while, laughing at their despair, the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:
I'm very used to having the American people disappoint the shit out of me.
[And Dan Rather will be experiencing a huge diarrhea attack tonight when the election results come in.]
I'm sorry, but election day has too often in my life been one of intense frustration over the profound idiocy of the American people. I'm in an angry mood. It's coming back to me that in 2002, I was misled into believing that an unusually large turnout for a mid-election was allegedly good news for Democrats. I think we all remember how bad the news was that day.
[BurtWorm is suddenly being splashed with a large dose of reality and it’s not a happy experience.]
Not intending to rain on anyone's parade, but elegies seem premature. We may be finding out that eulogies are more in order.
[And speaking of raining on parades, it’s now raining on heavily Democrat cities in a bunch of Midwestern Battleground States. With your eulogy tonight, would you like us to sing “Shall We Gather At The River” for musical accompaniment?]
Did you vote yet?
[Thus inquires Dummie molly of Burtworm, to which Burtworm responds gloomily:]
Not yet. You think that will help? The American people are going to have to earn back my trust. The American system is going to have to earn back my trust.
[No. It won’t help, BurtWorm. I want you to sit around on your ass all day waiting for the American people to earn back your trust. When they do so, they will send you a telegram. But no rush. If you miss voting today, you can always vote in the November 3 overtime election period tomorrow.]
Look - most of us have hope in our hearts - so if you want to be negative that's your business, but we don't need to hear about it today. OK?
[No, ,molly. I need to hear about it today. Burtworm is working wonders for my spirit.]
Did I say I was not going to vote? I voted in every other election that disappointed the shit out of me. I intend to vote in this one as well.
[And get the sh*t disappointed out of you AGAIN. But as I said earlier, Burtworm, you can always vote tomorrow in the special overtime election period.]
Most Americans feel they are doing the right thing when they vote for Bush.
[And DUmmie jpgray wins a Kewpie Doll for having the best moment of truth of the day!!!]
Hang your head in shame for posting that at this moment. How can you live with yourself?
[Simple. Burtworm can be happy in the knowledge that he is boosting the morale of the readers of the DUmmie FUnnies.]
Burt knows what kind of scams the GOP runs. Max Cleland shoulda won.
[Yeah, Cleland should have won but got knocked out by that silly little technicality of not having a majority of the vote.]
vote first, then bitch if you want....my two cents.
[Note to Burtworm: The special overtime election period is tomorrow.]
Burtworm, I've been thinking the same thing. We WERE told voter turn-out would produce Dem victories in 2002, and we got slaughtered. I need to remember this, not because I believe it will be the same today, but because it could be--and I don't want to go absolutely insane with depression if it all doesn't match our high hopes
[Shall we gather at the river,
Where bright angels he has brought,
With it's crystal tides forever
Flowing by the throne of God]
Exactly. Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Believe me, I don't want to be disappointed. It's the worst feeling in the world. But better to be prepared for the worst than to get socked, the way we usually are.
[Yes, we'll gather at the river.
The beautiful, the beautiful, river.
Gather with the saints at the river,
That flows by the throne of God]
Look, I have no doubt there are a lot of Bush voters turning out too. we just need to stay ahead of them. Indications are that the new young voters will win it for us. I saw a lot at my precinct this morning here in NYC. It looks like the late break is to Kerry in Iowa and Ohio. Stay positive, but if you sense a weakness- move to correct it!
[Ere we reach the shining river
Lay we every burden down,
Praise our spirits will deliver
And provide our robe and crown.]
I agree with you BurtWorm. I hope to hell they get it right this time. It will be a tragedy if shrub wins. What will it tell us about this country????
[Yes, we'll gather at the river.
The beautiful, the beautiful, river.
Gather with the saints at the river,
That flows by the throne of God]
BW, there is NO F'en WAY KERRY LOSES THIS ELECTION! BUSH IS A GONER, I AM POSITIVE OF THIS. I am not worried one bit, and I too was shocked by the 2k2 election results. It won't happen this time.
[Soon we'll reach the shining river,
Soon our pilgimage will cease,
Soon our happy hearts will quiver
With the melody of peace.]
Burt, I'm with you on your subject line. A majority of voting Americans can be colossally stupid and usually are. I've got to hope today will be an exception. But, I'm not betting on it.
[Yes, we'll gather at the river.
The beautiful, the beautiful, river.
Gather with the saints at the river,
That flows by the throne of God]
Special Election Day.....PING!!!
Best line ever. They never seem to figure out this little point for some reason.
"The American people disappoint the sh*t out of me"
it should say "The American People disappoint the Kerry out of me"
Funny, the song I had in mind was "Cry Me a River" :).
Thanks for taking the time to do this today. Appreciate the entertainment.
You go there so we won't have to.
I just got an IM from a lib friend who asked if I heard of the GOP thugs prevented the handicapped and the elderly from voting! I said, "listen to yourself! You dont really believe that, do you?" Pause, then, "No....."
This is really funny guys!
Please PING. Great sense of humor!
Nope, nothing elitist about that statement.
PJ, once again you have made my day.
On Sunday the preacher was giving a particulary stern sermon on temperance. He was almost yelling saying "we're going to take that beer and dump it in the river." Then he said we'll take all the wine and dump it in the river. Then he screamed we'll take all the whisky and dump it in the river". At the end of the sermon he led his congregation in that great old hymn "Shall we gather at the river"
Buwhahahahah that is awesome ! LOL
this is great!!!
Late today I plan to go laugh at them and pour salt on their wounds. No mercy for the DU Dummies!
Bwahahahahahaha!
They CANNOT be this stupid! Oh, wait.... yes, they can.
Bwahahahahahaha!
Kerry's language always included talk of his ability to fight a "smarter" war. He's an arrogant elitist who has a "plan" that he doesn't have to share with us because, after all, he is "smart" and we are "stupid".
This post has given me confidence today because average Americans don't like being made to feel stupid, especially by people who want something from them like a vote, their money, and their lives. The Dems will continue to lose elections unless they get it into their heads that making themselves superior by virtue of their perceived intelligence is a no-win attitude.
The secret is that the Dims are too dumb to figure that out!
Whenever I hear "Shall We Gather at the River", I remember the mass hanging scene in "Hang 'em High". LOL!
It's pouring in Seattle. I think the "river" is gathering around me.
Fantastic news!!! Go Nethercutt and Rossi
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