DUmmie FUnnies 05-09-05 ("John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 9, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

I have NO IDEA why John Edwards is running for President again. Like his running mate, John Kerry, he has absolutely no chance of winning the nomination. Karl Rove has already determined that the nomination will go to Hillary and none can defy the will of the mighty Rove. However, at least Edwards does provide us with much comic relief. I mean, is there anything FUNNIER than the video clip of Edwards fussing with his hair for minutes on end and then cracking us all up with his punchline of pulling out a beauty compact and staring intently into the mirror? So again, Edwards provides us with a laugh as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill.” A more accurate title would be “John Edwards disses Mary Beth Cahill.” Of course, Edwards later claimed he was joking but you know that phrase, “En Vino Veritas?” Well, you can also paraphrase that to “En Jokes Veritas.” Yeah, Edwards it was just a joke…but also accurate. The DUmmie reaction to Edwards’ “joke” is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who feels deprived for not ever owning a beauty compact, is in the [brackets]:

John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill

[I would rather not have that visual image in my mind.]

May 16 issue - It's traditional for out-of-work politicos to head to Harvard's Institute of Politics for genial wonk talk. It's also traditional for failed veep candidates to put major distance between themselves and their old campaign. The two customs intersected when John Edwards stopped by Cambridge last month. Over lunch, Edwards held a Q&A session with students, faculty and political bigwigs, including Kerry-Edwards campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill, a visiting fellow at the institute. Edwards was asked for one lesson he'd learned from the 2004 campaign. His answer: "Don't listen to Mary Beth Cahill." The response in the room was stunned silence, observers later recalled. "No one laughed when he said it, and Mary Beth grew bright red," said one attendee. "It was very awkward."

[Also VERY FUNNY! Is there videotape of this? It would be placed in my John Edwards comedy hits collection along with his famous hair mussing video.]

Edwards "has a great deal of respect for Mary Beth Cahill," says spokeswoman Kim Rubey, who says her boss made clear "he was teasing like he would an old friend."

[Sure. Sure.]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7775251/site/newsweek

I don't know what to think about this. I think it's a good lesson - an even better one would be "don't listen to Bob Shrum" - but it does seem a little harsh to say it to her face.

[Ah, Bob Shrum. The living BAD LUCK charm for the Democrats. Any presidential campaign that has Bob Shrum involved in it is DOOMED to failure. Bob Shrum reminds me of a character in the movie A Bronx Tail. Remember when Sonny and his pals were at the racetrack and they all bet on a horse they were SURE would win? Well, after the race began, the horse they bet on was way in the lead by several lengths. Suddenly a Bob Shrum bad luck type (can’t remember the character’s name) came running near them rooting for the SAME horse. At that moment Sonny and his pals tore up their tickets before the race was even over because they knew the guy jinxed their choice…..which is exactly what happened.]

The truth hurts.

[The truth hurts---John Kerry was NOT inaugurated on Jan. 20.]

that's what I'm sayin...don't listen to her!!!!!

[Too late now. We had Karl Rove and you guys had Mary Beth Cahill. Talk about being overmatched!]

Tact is not a quality given to everybody.

[True but tactlessness makes for great comedy.]

He was kidding... there is such a thing called a sense of humor...Mary Beth Cahill should have the sense of humor to laugh at the obvious tease. All winning campaigns and their leaders have a sense of humor about politics and themselves... which includes people like James Carville and some Bush people... however, Cahill seems too uptight... I haven't seen her crack a joke at some of the weaknesses of her own campaign and just accept it.

[Funny but NO ONE laughed at Edwards’ “joke.”]

I believe that 2004 was seriously rigged, I remember how the right wing mocked those who protested the elections in the Ukraine, and now they have their candidate in office, and all along we have been told to be nice and what has been the result, Iraq out of control, an unstable economy, thousands of competently trained people losing their jobs and unable to find work, soaring gas prices, the hatred of the world, George is violently protested wherever he goes, our social security pension gutted, our national parks and refuges threatened, scandal of billions of dollars unaccounted for or misused.

[Congrats DUmmie Miss Waverly! Your post will be entered into the overlong sentence contest.]

So Edwards was lying when he said it was a joke or is he still preserving his image of Mr Nice.

[Or maybe he is still preserving his image of Bitchy Breck Girl.]

it was a "barb" joke with truth in it

[Absolutely. Maybe Edwards was thinking about Cahill advising Kerry not to respond to the Swift Boat Veteran’s ads. She probably told Kerry not to worry since they just need to allow those Swift Boat Vets to go out on the limb and then they would cut them off by simply having Kerry sign his Form 180 to release his military records that would prove that he was on a Swift Boat in Cambodia on Christmas 1968 as was seared, SEARED into his memory.]

It's just that I like many here really sacrificed to send money to the DNC for the Kerry campaign, I ate hot dogs for months for lunch, to keep up a steady stream of donations, then to see them go down with a whisper and to see people here and on other activist sites pour money into the recount, work hour after hour on statistical analysis, letters, protests, visits with elected representatives, hearings, local boe events; it's heartbreaking.

[If only you had eaten cheese crackers instead of hot dogs for months for lunch, Kerry would have won.]

Folks, John Edwards made a faux pas. Forgive him. We all say stupid things, just because we aren't thinking straight for a split-second and we say something that we immediately wish we could take back. I don't think this is reflective of Edwards, or his thoughts about Mary Beth. He just stepped over the line, and took the teasing a bit too far. Nothing more.

[Please forgive John Edwards for being a stupid idiot!]

One problem with "teasing like he would an old friend." They're not old friends.

[BINGO! And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

I mean, it is just a fact that John Edwards and Mary Beth Cahill are not old friends, and whether he wants to call her his friend or not won't change that.

[I heard they once sat next to each other at the beauty parlor.]

I dunno, but it's creepy .....All I know is that Edwards is well liked by all "parties", crossover, if you know what I mean......

[A “crossover” who is liked by “parties.” Wink! Wink! I think I know what you mean. Wink!]

Dems need new talent in DC. The gene pool has been drained.

[Gene pool draining service has been performed on the Democrats by…Democrats.]

That may be the best thing I've ever heard Edwards say. Nobody laughed because everybody knew it was the truth. I don't know about you guys, but I'll remember August 2004 for a long time to come. It's too bad Kerry didn't listen more to his instincts and ignore some of these apparent idiots that were "advising" him.

[Don’t worry. Kerry is following his instincts now. He is going to sign his form 180 in order to prove those Swift Boat Veterans to be a bunch of liars. Yup! Kerry is going to sign Form 180 RIGHT AWAY…as soon as he gets around to it.]

Good for him. I'm tired of these incompetent operatives and at least he has the guts to say it.

[Mary Beth Cahill---Incompetent.
Bob Shrum---Incompetent Jinx.]

Considering the Swift Boat response, it might be good advice. Kerry wanted to fight back; Cahill didn't.

[“Oh please, Mary Beth! Let me sign my Form 180 to prove those Swift Boat Veterans are a bunch of liars!”]

Cahill and Shrum can both go to hell. Let Shrum have fun in Tuscany (that's where he went after the election) and Cahill actually step back and complemplate the miserable job she did in the election. Shrum shares blame for what - 5 (or more) failed campaigns? God, he gets paid millions for this?

[“You say Shrum jinxes EVERY presidential election he is involved in? Okay, lets pay him 2, no make it 3, million dollars to get involved in my campaign.”]

I agree with another poster, that this loss would have been greater if Carville and a few others hadn't got in. For all his faults (and I don't completely trust anyone married to Scary Matalin either), his political instincts aren't all that bad.

[I protest you taking the name of my future publisher in vain! Never EVER cast aspersions upon the blessed name of Mary Matalin! And is that her face I am seeing on my grilled cheese sandwich?]

So which face is there to be sensitive to?

[The Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich---Hillary.]

Sounds like positioning. Distance himself from the 2004 campaign ASAP -- THEY screwed it up, not me.

[“It’s not my fault I’m a loser!”]

[PJ-Comix]

Okay. You are probably wondering why I am not DUFUing Zsa Zsa Huffington's Celeb Blog as promised. The answer is that there is really nothing there in the way of Celeb Blogs. If you make a post, it must first pass muster with the Huffington Censor before it even appears on one of her blogs. If it isn't REAL TIME then it ain't blogging. As to what the celebs have to say, there is really nothing except the revelation by John Cusack that Hunter Thompson's wife was passing out acid at his funeral party. So, unless there are changes at Zsa Zsa Huffington's Celeb Blog website, it doesn't look like good grounds for DUFUing. However, the DUmmies almost NEVER disappoint as you can see in this edition. Oh, and there is the ongoing DUmmie Undie soap opera which we are following with great interest and on which franksolich is providing some great updates.

If you notice, I had to step in and defend the Blessed Mary Matalin from the DUmmies in this edition. Mary Matalin can express her gratitude by publishing my DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) and contacting me at: PJ-Comix.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List which now stands at the Satanic number of 666 members.

[PJ-Comix]

PING!

[nina0113]

First ten?

[MarineBrat]

Fourth!!!

[NeoCaveman]

3

[JimWforBush]

5TH?

[Mr. Silverback]

Fourth! Wooooooo!

[Charles Henrickson]

for genial wonk talk

This is not a Clinton thread, is it?

Oh, wait! I see now it says, "genial" and "wonk." Never mind.

[chesley]

top 10??

[franksolich]

By the way, this is too old to be a DUMMIE ALERT!, but by sheer chance it was speculated in DUmmieland that Elizabeth Edwards had sent a donation for the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson.....but I found no confirmation of it.

[SCALEMAN]

I saw this morning that Will Pitt was claiming that the $50k was raised for Andy.

[Charles Henrickson]

I ate hot dogs for months for lunch . . .

But you didn't have to eat so many, Faye!

. . . to keep up a steady stream. . . .

I think that was the beer, not the hot dogs.

[franksolich]

Old news; that claim was made by the incredibly boring DUmmie PUnidiot "William Pitt" circa 2:00 a.m., eastern time.

As the $50,000 HAS TO BE given to Johns Hopkins today, I'm still hanging in DUmmieland, waiting for allegations that it has been turned in.

Nothing yet, but the day is long.

If you want on the DUMMIE ALERT! ping list, expected to last just a few days until this story plays out, holler at me. The DUMMIE ALERT! ping list deals ONLY with the speculative existence (or non-existence) of $50,000 in DUmmieland, and NO other DUings of the DUmmies (so as to stay off P.J.'s well-earned turf)--just the real, or only ostensible, fifty grand.

The DUMMIE ALERT! pings are given on the PRECEDING DUmmie FUnnies, not the current one, so as to not interfere with the subject of the current DUmmie FUnnies.

[SCALEMAN]

yeah...ok...put me on the Andy 50k ping list

[Charles Henrickson]

John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill

I don't know, I think Silky Pony might have the prettier hair:

[volvox]

top 15?

[Charles Henrickson]

I like many here really sacrificed to send money to the DNC for the Kerry campaign

And now you suckers are throwing your money away again, on the Fundee Stephenson scam.

[COBOL2Java]

...thousands of competently trained people losing their jobs and unable to find work,...

By any chance, was Miss Waverly a worker in the Kerry '04 campaign? Perhaps she's speaking from personal experience...

[BadCat13]

Another nice autopsy by PJ.

I still need a pic of DUmmie husb2sparkly, if he's been dumb enough to post one somewhere.

[kevkrom]

Re: Huffington's "blog" -- just like a narcissistic, whacked-out lib to engage in false advertising and produce a disappointing "product".