Posted on 06/14/2005 4:42:17 PM PDT by writer33
Chicago—In a bold new move, Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean bowed down to the House of Jackson on Sunday, making not one but two visits to friendly audiences at the Rainbow/PUSH headquarters, trying to tone down the rhetoric that has landed him in so much hot water lately, while announcing his plans for a new coalition on reaching out to evangelicals.
Dean’s newfound message discipline did not preclude a personal snipe at his counterpart, Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman. The new coalition, called ‘The Committed Christian Coalition,’ is part of Howard Dean’s new strategy to counter the Christian right. “I do not want to hear any more about Ken Mehlman going to African-American churches,” Dean said. “Republicans ought not to get even 2 percent of the African-American vote in 2008. Praise God! And that’s part of what my new coalition will do. We’re here to dispel the myth that African-Americans are included in the Christian right. We know different. They’re right and they’re white!”
In recent weeks, Dean has noted that Republicans have never made an honest living in their lives, and that Republicans are pretty much a white, Christian party and that embattled House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) ought to return home where he could serve his jail sentence.
“Any party that caters to redneck, snake-toting, bible-thumping, cousin-marrying Christians isn’t going to be included in our coalition, yelled Dean. “That includes those icky, bead-wearing Catholics too. We’re here, we’re ethnic and we’re reaching out to compassionate evangelicals!
Cheney, in an interview on June 13, 2005, broadcast on Fox News’ Hannity & Colme,’ stomped on Dean and said that Dean was not the kind of individual you want to have representing your political party. “I’ve never been able to understand his appeal. Maybe his mother loved him, but I’ve never met anybody who does.” The Michael Jackson Connection, a.k.a the Sean Hannity Show, aired the interview again on his June 14, 2005 show.
Dean was asked to respond to the kick in the teeth by Vice President Cheney. Standing, he rolled up his sleeves and fired away. “My view is that Fox News is a propaganda outlet for the Republican Party and I don’t comment on the bull that comes from Fox News. It’s obvious that Cheney is feeling the heat from the ‘Committed Christian Coalition.’ I know he doesn’t want a piece of me. He can’t hang with the big dogs!”
Dean talked about the Bible, Jesus, respecting people who disagree with you and the persuasive power of deep convictions, punching Cheney and the Christian right in the mouth. He continued to push the ‘Committed Christian Coalition’ in his efforts to reach out to the compassionate snake charmers and the poor southern hicks that make up the vast majority of evangelicals.
“Let me remind those Republicans,” Dean fired, “that the Bible mentions helping the poor 3,000 times. I have not yet seen gay marriage mentioned in the Bible. That is a Republican issue. If those holy rollers won’t include gay marriage, then we won’t include them in the ‘Committed Christian Coalition.’ As usual, the Republicans can talk the talk, but they can’t walk the walk.”
Dean also remarked that Republicans would get a heavy dose of the ‘Committed Christian Coalition’ when it walked all over them come 2006 and 2008. We’re left, we’re praying and we’re in their face,” yelled an angered Dean to the crowd. “We’re going to take back values in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Texas, Arizona, Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina, and then we’re going back to Washington to take back the White House!”
Christian Coalition ping!
Christian Coalition ping!
Is this a joke?
Okay nevermind, I read a little further. It's hard to tell with Dean though... you need to put a ((Parody)) next to the title.
Nope not a joke - it's true. Dean has visited Jessie (ShakeDown) Jackson to get saved! LOL But seriously it is true!
No, this is a parody
LOL!
With writer33, you never can tell. Most of his parody, though, contains a LARGE helping of absolute truth, he just likes to take truth across the line and over the edge.
;-D
Glad you enjoyed it, Leapfrog.
Well summed up, JA.
Pinging the usual suspects!
(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)
Well, I could have just said you were goofy, but that didn't sound very literary. ;-D
Funny article, Chris, I liked it.
another truth turned upside down :)
Gotta love it man!! Keep em comin....
Chris, that was a gut guster. Two thumbs up - LOL ! ! !
I have a question though. If Delay is in prison, will Dean visit him? It's what Jesus would do, I'm just wondering if it's what Dean would do.
TWO LEFT THUMBS UP!
-- Hillary's review in the NYTimes
Cute article. Atmospheric!
"Icky bead-wearing Catholics"? That is just over the line! Dean and Jackson, Mutt and Jeff, two of a kind!
Committed Christian Coalition--committed to some serious phsychotherapy is what is needed here! LOL! They should be committed! Where are the little men in the white coats when you need them!
Thanks for pinging, NYT.
I am goofy. :) HA!
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