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Sexual orientation is flexible, right?
Alain's Newsletter ^ | 01/28/2006 | alainsnewsletter

Posted on 01/28/2006 8:31:07 PM PST by geekerfx

SATIRE: Sexual orientation is flexible, right?

Marriage – I want to marry three men, six women, four children (ages ranging from seven to ten), two dogs and a mule. And I want insurance and benefits for all of them. You do not like it, hate crime!!! Go to jail, get fined.

Hey everyone, this is my coming out notice. I have decided to CHANGE MY GENDER! (We all know from the many great organizations out there that our gender is not fixed! It is FLUID like our constitution. NOW, HRC, ACLU, Planned Parenthood, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and so many more…)

Hoorah for me!

I am no longer to be considered a monogamous heterosexual male. From this point on, I am to be recognized as a Para-sexual. This is how I perceive my sexual orientation. You will love me and must accept me for whom I truly see myself to be.

What, you never heard of a Para-sexual? No I am not homosexual. No, I am not BI-sexual. Quit trying to limit my freedoms!

I want to have a loving, multidirectional, multifaceted marital relationship with the ones I choose to love.

These are:

We are planning a big happy wedding ceremony; all my best friends will be invited. Bill, Hillary, Ted, Barbara B. You know the crowd. (Great people. Oh that Ted is a kicker at parties when he starts getting juiced up!)

KEEP READING HERE


(Excerpt) Read more at alainsnewsletter.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: homosexualagenda; pansexuals
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1 posted on 01/28/2006 8:31:07 PM PST by geekerfx
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To: geekerfx

Welcome to Free Republic.


2 posted on 01/28/2006 8:33:30 PM PST by perfect stranger (What would I know?)
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To: geekerfx
Sexual orientation is flexible, right?

Not according to DNA. :)

Welcome to FR.

3 posted on 01/28/2006 8:36:07 PM PST by DJ MacWoW (If you think you know what's coming next....You don't know Jack.)
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To: geekerfx; Admin Moderator
IBTZ considering this quote from the site,

Everything said here has already been stated extensively by those trying to change traditional marriage.

4 posted on 01/28/2006 8:37:28 PM PST by perfect stranger (What would I know?)
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To: perfect stranger
He should come to Washington state, he won't have any problems. The legislature just included gays and lesbians in the anti-discrimination law.
5 posted on 01/28/2006 8:38:35 PM PST by jazusamo (A Progressive is only a Socialist in a transparent disguise.)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: jazusamo

No sheep?


7 posted on 01/28/2006 8:45:08 PM PST by MrEdd
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To: jazusamo

I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt if they answer anytime soon, but I'll also bet one dollar that they won't respond at all.


8 posted on 01/28/2006 8:46:43 PM PST by perfect stranger (What would I know?)
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To: geekerfx

No.

Case in point straights.


9 posted on 01/28/2006 8:46:48 PM PST by TheBrotherhood
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To: geekerfx

Sounds reasonable.


10 posted on 01/28/2006 8:48:10 PM PST by Always Right
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To: Deepkimche
I really do believe that polygamy will be the result of the rush to homosexual marriage. How will the state be able to tell someone they cannot have multiple wives or husbands if they can marry someone of the same sex?

Polygyny has far more historical precedent than "gay marriage". I see no particular reason why "gay marriage" should be acceptable but polygyny not.

The most important function of marriage is ensuring that children will have a known mother and father. Polygyny accomplishes this; polyandry and gay marriage do not.

11 posted on 01/28/2006 8:52:04 PM PST by supercat (Sony delenda est.)
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To: geekerfx

Para-sexual!!! you have sex after jumping out of airplanes or with ghosts??


12 posted on 01/28/2006 8:56:57 PM PST by stuartcr (Everything happens as God wants it to.....otherwise, things would be different.)
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To: Deepkimche

Yes, for Hillary


14 posted on 01/28/2006 9:28:51 PM PST by HonduGOP
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To: geekerfx

Female: Judy, Jane, Elizabeth, Sally, Erica and Hillary










Hillary? Hillary? Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!


15 posted on 01/28/2006 9:38:53 PM PST by watchin (Facts irritate liberals)
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To: perfect stranger

Retune those satire detectors!


16 posted on 01/28/2006 10:03:58 PM PST by thoughtomator
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To: thoughtomator

Retune my sarire after almost 90 min waiting for a response from the poster that signed up just today?


17 posted on 01/28/2006 10:10:50 PM PST by perfect stranger
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To: supercat
The most important function of marriage is ensuring that children will have a known mother and father.

Wrong. The courts have ruled that women have the right to deceive men as to the paternity of their children. Thus, the most important function of marriage in our society is to transfer money to women. It's merely a way to subsidize the welfare state--an excise tax on men.

18 posted on 01/28/2006 10:14:29 PM PST by PeoplesRepublicOfWashington (How long do we have to pretend that Democrats are patriots?)
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To: perfect stranger

Satire doesn't depend on follow up responses.


19 posted on 01/28/2006 10:17:29 PM PST by thoughtomator
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To: thoughtomator

Especially bad satire like this.


20 posted on 01/28/2006 10:46:16 PM PST by JennysCool (Non-Y2K-Compliant)
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