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Allahboard US Airways
The knewshound ^ | 01/12/06 | knewshound

Posted on 12/01/2006 8:18:12 AM PST by knews_hound

Good evening, I'm Lou Dobbs and this is Moneyline.

In a recent incident involving Muslim Imams being expelled for what has been called "Disruptive behavior", CAIR, the Council on American Islamic Relations has called for a boycott by Muslims of US Airways.

We are joined tonight by the Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer for US Airways, Mr. Doug Parker.  Thank you for joining us tonight on Moneyline Mr. Parker

 

Well thanks for having me on to speak about this very important subject Lou; it’s my pleasure to be here.

Here also to present the other side is Council on American Islamic Relations spokesman Mr. Nihad Awad.

Welcome to Moneyline Mr. Awad.

Thank you Lou, Peace be unto you.

Let’s go first to you Mr. Parker, what is US Airways position on the events of that flight?

Well Lou, as you know, we at US Airways number one priority is keeping our customers safe.  If anything, the flight crew was just taking every precaution for all the passengers.

 

What do you say Mr. Awad.  And by the way, I have to say, I have never met anyone whose name fit them so very well.

Thank you Lou, and again, peace be upon you. The position of CAIR and all Muslims is that if the other passengers cannot grasp that shouting Allah’s name, peace be unto him, as they are boarding the aircraft, moving suspiciously about the cabin, asking for seatbelt extensions they do not need and praising Osama bin Laden while criticizing the criminal United States Government shortly before take off is just a normal and natural part of Islamic culture. If the bigoted and racist passengers cannot grasp that all these activities were no threat, it is their problem.

 

Are you out of your friggen mind?

 

Not at all Lou.  It should be obvious to anyone by now that it is the racist American public that is the root of all of these problems.  If the American public would just accept ...


Now wait just a minute Mr. Awad.

If you will let me finish Lou,   If the American public would just accept the superiority of Islamic culture all of these problems can be put behind us.

 

Riiiiight

 

CAIR is calling for a boycott by all Muslims worldwide  against US Airways until they have apologized to the insult toward Islam and these Imams. The humiliation suffered by these holy men is almost beyond calculation. Fortunately, we have excellent accountants, and they, by the most amazing stroke of luck, have managed to calculate that their humiliation can be diminished to an acceptable level by a payment by US Airways in the amount of Seventeen Million, Five Hundred Fifty Two Thousand, Two Hundred and Eighty Seven Dollars and Sixty Two Cents.

 

And 62 cents?

 

Yes Lou, and 62 cents.

Riiiiight....

Thank you for that Mr. Awad, and again, congratulations on a most excellent name.

You're quite welcome Lou.

 

Back to you Mr. Parker.

You just heard what Mr. Awad had to say, they are calling for a world-wide boycott by all Muslims against US Airways until their financial demands have been met.  What is US Airways position on their position?

Well Lou, as I said earlier, US Airways believes it acted in a manner that ensured the safety of all its passengers.  Disruptive behavior will never be allowed on any flight by anyone.  We have been inundated with letters of support from members of the flying public praising our actions.  We stand by our decision.  

How do you respond to the demands by CAIR for restitution to the Imams that were ejected from the flight?

Lou, here's the deal.  We are a private company.  We have the right to refuse service to anyone, and pretty much for any reason we like.  We believe that if you make your fellow passengers nervous by your obnoxious behavior, you shouldn't be surprised when we kick your ass off the plane.

 

Seems pretty straight forward to me Mr. Parker. What about their call for a world-wide boycott of US Airways?

Well Lou, here's the deal.  We have done studies showing that Muslims make up only 3% of our paying passengers.  As a result of actions by members of that group, the allies of CAIR have cost the Airline approximately seventy three million dollars in increased costs for security and other expenses since Sept. 11.  Our marketing department has given us some interesting proposals since this latest incident.  I am pleased to announce that rather than pay off these guys, we are proud to declare ourselves to be the worlds first all non-Moslem airline.  I know there will be the claim that El Al got there first but we are the first to have it as a company policy.  

 

Let me get this straight, your airline is agreeing to the boycott?

Oh it is way more than agreement Lou, we are actively discouraging Moslems to fly with us period.  We have done a cost benefit analysis and determined that it just isn't worth the bother.

 

Interesting concept....

My thanks to both of you for being on Moneyline tonight.  Thank you again Mr. Parker for a fascinating discussion about a very innovative business decision and again Mr. Awad, great name you have there.

  


(Together) Thanks Lou.

In our next story, blogger knewshound discusses his legal problems concerning his recent column. We get reaction from the author himself from an undisclosed location

I'm Lou Dobbs and this is Moneyline.


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Politics; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: airlines; airlinesecurity; flyingimams; mylegaltroubles; wot
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I hope you like this one. It took forever to create it.

Cheers,

knewshound

http://knewshound.blogspot.com/

1 posted on 12/01/2006 8:18:14 AM PST by knews_hound
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To: knews_hound

Bravo! Author! Author! That's fantastic. Thank you!


2 posted on 12/01/2006 8:24:36 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Prayers for our patriot brother, 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub. Brian, we're all pulling for you!)
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To: knews_hound

That was great!!!! Thank you for the time it took for you to do that....:)


3 posted on 12/01/2006 8:24:40 AM PST by HarleyLady27 (My ? to libs: "Do they ever shut up on your planet?" "Grow your own DOPE: Plant a LIB!")
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To: knews_hound
LOL...

and now for the REAL interview...

Dobbs: Suck, suck, suck

Awad: Blow, blow, blow

4 posted on 12/01/2006 8:24:42 AM PST by evad
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To: knews_hound

Funny! Good job, knews_hound!


5 posted on 12/01/2006 8:38:49 AM PST by Shelayne (...And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm... ~~Casting Crowns)
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To: knews_hound
SmileyCentral.com
6 posted on 12/01/2006 8:43:45 AM PST by COUNTrecount
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To: knews_hound
Well done! If there is a FReeper out there who knows that Parker has a sense of humor about the incident (now that it's over), he might send the FR link to him.

I, for one, will be flying US AIr whenever possible ;)

7 posted on 12/01/2006 9:13:32 AM PST by GoldCountryRedneck ("Idiocy - Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large numbers" - despair.com)
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To: GoldCountryRedneck
I was only joking about the legal troubles but I am curious how this is going to fly (pardon the pun) with US Airways.

Hopefully they do have a sense of humor !

Cheers,

knewshound
8 posted on 12/01/2006 9:25:38 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: GoldCountryRedneck
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
9 posted on 12/01/2006 9:27:10 AM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: abb; decal; MadIvan; quantim; Lazmataz; Congressman Billybob; clamper1797

Your thoughts?


10 posted on 12/01/2006 9:28:27 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: the OlLine Rebel

Oh that is just excellent.

Great minds.....


11 posted on 12/01/2006 9:29:06 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: knews_hound

I love the glee in the ad's revelation, don't you? As if so glad to have an "endorsement"!


12 posted on 12/01/2006 9:36:04 AM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: knews_hound

If only we could tune in tonight on Moneyline and really see this broadcast...


13 posted on 12/01/2006 9:36:14 AM PST by abb (The Dinosaur Media: A One-Way Medium in a Two-Way World)
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To: the OlLine Rebel

Sure makes me want to fly them !


14 posted on 12/01/2006 10:04:23 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Ping for your consideration.
15 posted on 12/01/2006 11:28:28 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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Shameless Bump


16 posted on 12/01/2006 12:39:02 PM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: knews_hound

"Your thoughts?"

Good show!

I'm guessing it's Press Secretary Stick Figure's favorite airline, too.


17 posted on 12/01/2006 3:06:42 PM PST by decal (We're all in the same boat - start bailing!)
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To: knews_hound

LOL. Dobbs has alway been more suds than hops.


18 posted on 12/01/2006 11:11:12 PM PST by quantim (Ebola virus equivalent => Senators that think they're Presidential material)
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To: knews_hound

Hound, your talent knows no bounds!

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen!

Thanks!


19 posted on 12/02/2006 12:33:22 PM PST by baa39
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To: baa39

*blushes*

Thanks, I really appreciate the compliment.

Cheers,

knewshound


20 posted on 12/02/2006 1:54:48 PM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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